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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Who‘s coming to FiLIA?

786 replies

lanadelgrey · 23/08/2025 10:33

I‘m starting to get excited.
Are there plans for a MN meetup?

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TinselAngel · 16/10/2025 19:22

Every time I’ve been to FILIA I’ve never been to the disco because I’m peopled out by that point. Sounds like it’s been the right decision.

Shinyredbicycle · 16/10/2025 19:22

I don't think there was a no photo rule at the disco or before Sunday.

All the people posting and sharing footage for clicks and outrage don't seem to have even thought about the women filmed and their consent. Really vile behaviour.

Shinyredbicycle · 16/10/2025 19:26

Previous discos have been nothing like this one. They're usually just a lot of fun.

Shinyredbicycle · 16/10/2025 19:38

Sorry, another one from me but it's just popped into my head.

I haven't seen mention of Sunday afternoon when elderly Jewish woman say in the main foyer playing her guitar and singing in Hebrew. no-one batted an eyelid.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 17/10/2025 09:59

Shinyredbicycle · 16/10/2025 19:22

I don't think there was a no photo rule at the disco or before Sunday.

All the people posting and sharing footage for clicks and outrage don't seem to have even thought about the women filmed and their consent. Really vile behaviour.

There was a general no filming without permission rule for the entirety of the conference.

Shinyredbicycle · 17/10/2025 10:51

Yes, I think you're right.

whatwouldafeministdo · 17/10/2025 11:03

That is just hilarious, so on point. I'd love to buy some tunnocks for whoever did it - they're very clever.

alondonerabroad · 17/10/2025 11:05

Thingybob · 16/10/2025 18:51

I agree that the majority at Filia are just normal run of the mill types but I do think the socialist agenda has become more and more prevalent both from the message given and the choice of speakers.

The evils of capitalism came up in my than one of my sessions including the opening session on the Friday. I can't remember who the speaker was but she had a PowerPoint slide that showed the fundamental things that we should all be fighting. Capitalism was on the there along with the Patriarchy, VAWG and a forth item I can't remember.

This was the impression I got, and am getting, not necessarily just at filia but in general. Must all feminism be socialist? I’m politically naive I know.

whatwouldafeministdo · 17/10/2025 11:30

The reason people record video is that they've learned that if they don't often people more powerful than them claim that things didn't happen, it was just in their head, they're hysterical etc. This is especially important IMO if you're a working class woman - it's easy to be silenced if you don't have the money or time to go to court and people know that.

Do we really need to state that having no evidence often goes badly for poorer women - grooming gang victims, anyone?

That doesn't excuse sharing it without other women-in-the-video's consent but it is a powerful reason to take a video in the first place, especially when others are also filming. Which I can sympathise with - once someone is filming you've lost the 'not being filmed' position irrevocably. It's likely that as soon as one person whips out a phone then there will be at least 5 or 6 others doing so too.

I've heard at least 5 versions of what happened with the Jewish woman at the disco. What's interesting is the way people relay their opinion. Some are aggressive, others are more obviously neutral. I'm more likely to believe the neutral ones and those who don't declare with absolute moral certainty exactly what happened and what everyone's motivation was (including mine when simply asking questions, implying I'm not in good faith) and absolutely no nuance or room for the slightest uncertainty.

E.g. in a positive sense Shinyred describes what she saw but is clear that it's her interpretation that the Jewish woman getting the yellow ribbon out was in response to the flag wearing / pro-Palestine chanters. And that this interpretation may be wrong. That makes it more likely I'll believe her.

Because other people are declaring with absolute certainty things that are later proven as untrue and that tends to make me slightly wary of what they say and what their motivations are - particularly if they're generally quite rude to anyone who has a different opinion and seems to think everyone else should just accept their version no questions asked.

In terms of what happened I don't really care at this point, time to move on, except for hoping the Jewish women who were there are ok and generally feeling more resolved to speak up about antisemitism and pay attention to it as someone not Jewish myself. I hadn't seen a lot of the more extreme and virulent antisemitism that Jews in this country are exposed to until this week, so it's been a wake up call.

Shinyredbicycle · 17/10/2025 11:42

Thank- you, whatwouldafeministdo. Having been in protracted, inflamed situations before, what I've learnt is that everyone sees things differently and the order in which people encounter situations/have conversations etc plays a big part in the internal, then external, narratives that emerges.

And yes to the Mexican wave of getting phones out to film. All the sharing of footage is a gross violation of privacy and seems to have been done for clicks and outrage rather than any more noble motives.

UrsulasHerbBag · 17/10/2025 18:18

I don’t know if any of you know cleanbirdcity from X? She’s a young Irish lesbian fighting back against gender nonsense. She sent a really uplifting set of messages about her experiences of FiLiA. She spoke about the different talks she went to, surrogacy and MVAWG and it is really lovely to read. That gives me a lot of hope and a good feeling. The American women who are causing such division aren’t young, they are mid to late twenties but this is an early 20’s lesbian explaining what FiLiA meant to her. That’s got to give us a bit of hope.

UrsulasHerbBag · 17/10/2025 18:22

I wanted to share that because I feel like I have been on a downer against FiLiA. I’m so not! I just want a place for us all to meet and feel we belong.

RoyalCorgi · 17/10/2025 18:51

Don't know if this has already been shared, but Milli Hill has taken the paywall off her blogpost about FiLiA:

https://millihill.substack.com/p/my-thoughts-on-filia-2025

Still not completely clear what happened (I have read competing accounts) but the screen grabs show a very angry-looking Jean Hatchet.

My thoughts on FiLiA 2025

Who gains if we lose a Feminist event?

https://millihill.substack.com/p/my-thoughts-on-filia-2025

UrsulasHerbBag · 17/10/2025 19:02

No it isn’t completely clear. I know Jean hatchett is the big bad wolf in this but can we take a moment to remember what she’s done and what she’s been through? Jean is basically a hand grenade and she went for it in a disco. She wasn’t handing out anti Zionist pamphlets and she wasn’t on her social media as a paid speaker, paid for and invited, threatening to destroy FiLiA. Let’s all remember that.

Thingybob · 17/10/2025 19:19

and she wasn’t on her social media as a paid speaker, paid for and invited, threatening to destroy FiLiA

Did one of the young women from the states do that?

UrsulasHerbBag · 17/10/2025 19:24

@Thingybob yes.

UrsulasHerbBag · 17/10/2025 19:27

Their statement is plastered everywhere. Including the bit where the CEO from FiLiA knew our politics and invited us because of it. These are not my words. These are direct from the women invited, platformed and if we believe them, paid for by FiLiA.

UrsulasHerbBag · 17/10/2025 19:28

The week before their social media posts were about taking out the Zionist arm. This is why lots of us are at a loss as to why FiLiA haven’t made any kind of statement.

whatwouldafeministdo · 17/10/2025 19:34

RoyalCorgi · 17/10/2025 18:51

Don't know if this has already been shared, but Milli Hill has taken the paywall off her blogpost about FiLiA:

https://millihill.substack.com/p/my-thoughts-on-filia-2025

Still not completely clear what happened (I have read competing accounts) but the screen grabs show a very angry-looking Jean Hatchet.

A lot of this blog is reasonable. However, she totally lost me in naming and attempting, seemingly, to 'shame' Aja. Even by her own description, Aja did absolutely nothing wrong, Milli's NEVER EVEN MET HER and yet Milli still claims to fear her and then disingenuously waves it away as 'maybe just paranoia'. If you really think that it's paranoia and with no basis in truth why on earth would you write her name down on a blog, that's really unfair and manipulative.

Also, she lost me when she said that KJK, Birdie Rose and Aja are right wing because they've been at the same events as those who are 'right wing' which also seemed to be behind her irrational fear of Aja.

Right wing women (which none of these women are AFAIK) are women and human beings too. With women's rights and human rights. It's not very feminist to paint right wing women as monsters.

A lot of women with left wing leanings seem quite angry that Aja, a black lesbian woman, has some middle ground or right wing views, or views which most working class people hold, which - in a democratic society not a totalitarian state - she is free to hold.

I feel really sorry for Aja after reading this. Totally unfair.

Shinyredbicycle · 17/10/2025 19:35

That's a pretty disgraceful piece from Milli Hill imvho. The what appears to be racism and classism towards Aja, the me, me, me when there was shit, shit, shit going down for lots of people. Posting stills is completely out of order - aside from consent issues, stills are carefully curated to show what the editor wants them.

Neither Jean Hatchet nor Milli Hill have covered themselves in glory. JH shoved someone in an attempt to snatch her flag and Milli drops this about an organisation that have platformed her multiple times a couple of days afterwards.

For balance, the piece that JH has published holds no higher moral ground.

whatwouldafeministdo · 17/10/2025 19:38

However, Milli was spot on about boundaries. Filia could have avoided a lot of the problems by stating that both Palestinian and Jewish women have suffered violence that is to be condemned and that the conference was not about the Israel / Palestine war and anyone who wanted to undertake activism about the war should do it elsewhere.

Interestingly, Trump appears to have done what many said could not be done (and lots of chanting and waving of flags hasn't achieved) and got the first step in a peace process underway. Funny how the activists aren't celebrating that. Almost as if the violence against women happening as a result of the war is less important than left and right wing politics.

Talkinpeace · 17/10/2025 19:39

JCJ and JH love to pick fights

Aja is an utter sweetie who protects other women.

Milli needs to give her head a wobble.

whatwouldafeministdo · 17/10/2025 19:53

To be clear I do not know Aja at all personally but I have only seen positive actions from her. And sometimes she just hits the nail on the head like no-one else.

One of the tweets from Aja I think is great and that I use to peak people is this. It's about safeguarding instinct and the desire of many men and women to get particularly working class women and girls, who are more at risk generally, to talk themselves out of it.

https://x.com/AjaTheEmpress/status/1727745772970471686

A lot of the criticism of Aja does seem to be racism and classism. Not behaving as someone like her is supposed to. Insufficient tugging of forelocks perhaps? Good for her.

Talkinpeace · 17/10/2025 20:00

I have met and spoken to all of them.

I know which one I'd go for a drink with.

Talkinpeace · 17/10/2025 20:04

@whatwouldafeministdo
Please do not credit Trump with anything. The man does not read.
The cynics who really run the White House drove all of this.

If I'd jumped on the stage with a Stars and Stripes I'd have lasted seconds.
Milli is right that Filia need to professionalise.