M&S apologises over trans employee in bra department (Telegraph)

[WimbledonWhites]

How many “cis” male members of staff do you suppose would approach teenage girls in the lingerie department?
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/08/04/ms-apologises-over-trans-employee-in-bra-department/

https://archive.ph/nTDB9archive.ph/nTDB9

Bonus points for "trust me, I used to be a retail banker".

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5318550-it-feels-like-we-need-a-new-bingo-card-since-the-judgement?page=7&reply=146226914

Cough....

I used to work in lingerie dept. once in a while. - a man dressed as man would come in to buy a gift, some wanted assistance, some not. I don’t think they made other women uncomfortable… they were I think, viewed as “an interesting customer” as men not common in that area of shop

Sometimes we would get men, “browsing” with creep vibes. No buying, just looking & looking. Not even touching a hangar.

women the lingerie dept, are generally focused and there for something. Not many ever “browsing”, even if browsing … women would be touching fabric, looking at sizes…

just my observations …

From working w bras, spanks, slips, foundations …. I would assume that a transitioning / trans person would get better fitting garments in a speciality shop or bespoke website.

We can at least be greatful that this psycho didn't actually make it to be an elected representative.

Did anyone catch Shelagh Fogarty on LBC today? I heard her say she was covering this issue from 2pm but I was working so couldn’t tune in.

I just tried to listen on catch up, but it’s not available. The show that followed Shelagh’s is available.

"poo poo any attempt at a future court claim" Is IW five years old?

No but if he was an employee and literally said ‘can I help you?’ I wouldn’t think that was particularly weird because I don’t automatically assumed EVERY man is a predator. And he would be doing his job.

While my sympathy here is fully focussed on the 14 year-old in the always fairly unenjoyable stage of growing up, and on her splendidly protective mother, an adult man, however he identifies, making uninvited approaches to a 14 year old boy would also be pretty sus.

We need decent men, as well as protective mothers, to start speaking out against a policy of access all underage teens.

Being in a bra department is like being in a shoe department.

The only way you can "help" is by asking: "what size are you? Which style are you looking for?"

Edit: am catching up from 2pm today, had to get this out of my system, sorry if someone has already said it!

Not in M&S he wouldn't. People choose to shop there because they know (or knew) that they won't suffer unsolicited advances from staff.

FFS. Outrageous.

@Helleofabore posted an hour ago.

I think you are going to have to post it at the top of every page now. Because even though you have now hand fed those posters the information to correct their wrong assumptions, they will continue to deny it, or deny that it is a problem.

She was correct.

Look at the last page. This male was NOT just doing his job.

I have never seen a male member of staff in the lingerie department and honestly wouldn't want to be helped by one either. It would make me uncomfortable.

it's not necessarily about all males being predators, but a male asking questions about my bra size, preferred styles etc would make me very uncomfortable and I wouldn't engage and would likely find another shop to go to.

None. It was always women. Hence why I said I thought this instance was inappropriate. I’m refuting the suggestion that it’s a sackable offence for M&S staff to offer customers help, or approach them which multiple people are saying is fact on here. I’d like to see some evidence for that.

if you’d read my post properly you’d know that. But too busy foaming at the mouth like most posters on here it seems.

So sad the debate around this is so devoid of critical thinking.

Can you explain why you think
● it is socially acceptable
• for a male member of staff to approach a 14 year old girl (who was not looking for help from a member of staff ) and
• seek to speak to her about underwear generally and specifically about her bra size?

Can you explain what you mean by "help" when you say you wouldn’t think that was particularly weird if the male member of staff offering to help the customer who is actively shopping of the underwear section?

What kind of help can he be offering which is not product related?

Or another way to put the question is:

Do you think that a male employee would not expect to discuss specific products if he goes up to a customer and offers to help that customer?

We've had 'frothing' and 'foaming' so far. We'll probably get a 'pearl clutching' to round up the anti safeguarding scold triad.

Have we had hysterical yet?

"Seething" has made an appearance.

and lizard-brains

Nah, that's part of the misogynistic 'why won't women just shut up' triad along with shrill and obsessive.

I doubt many men would think it appropriate to offer teenage girls 'help' in the underwear department.

Dont you agree?

Nope and I’ve said repeatedly that I don’t think this incident was appropriate.

Personally if I was rifling through bras at M&S and a male employee said ‘do you need any help’ I would have no issue asking him ‘do you have this in a 34B?’

Clearly Im in the minority here though! And to reiterate- I don’t think men (or trans women) should be employed in lingerie departments as lots of women obviously do feel uncomfortable discussing knickers and bras around men.

You forgot about “we’re just tall women” - thats a new on surely?

I think we can safely say that India W has a complicated relationship with the truth. He said on Question Time that he was a biological woman. Pretty groundbreaking in light of the fact that he fathered a child.

But hey, I’m just a hysterical, seething, lizard-brained ‘cis woman’ who can see that when the magical word trans is spoken people’s brains fall out.

I’m not sure the example you’ve given is equivalent to. In it you’re an adult female and the staffer is a man. I doubt I’d be bothered in this situation either. But the Telegraph report isn’t t about that scenario - the customer is an apparently unaccompanied 14 year old teen

Can you honestly say you’d have been comfortable being approached by a male staffer in the lingerie section at age 14?

Personally I’d have got the ick at that age. But by then I’d been sexually assaulted; been accused of being gay after rejecting unsavoury boys at school and had had to deal with dirty phone calls. So I wasn’t prepared to give random men the benefit of the doubt by that stage!