A divorcee has been forced by a judge to pay half for her ex-husband’s trans surgery.

[TheywontletmehavethenameIwant]

I thought I link to this, it's on MSN.

"The mother argued that it was unfair that she had to stump up £80,000 for the procedure when the decision to transition had led to the breakdown of her marriage.
But in what is believed to be the first case of its kind, the judge said that the surgery was a “need”, not a “whim”, and therefore it was “reasonable” for the cost to be met out of their joint funds."

Divorcee forced to pay half of ex-husband’s trans surgery in legal first

"She was “deeply shocked” when her husband “stated that she intended to live her new life as a lesbian woman” and that is when she began divorce proceedings.

The husband responded: “You marry a trans person. You live with a trans person. You benefit from a trans person. They are suicidal and you support them.”

Male privilege write large, and another activist judge, from Brighton, of course.

Wow! This man claimed "he could not afford to pay the court-ordered maintenance to his wife and children but splashed £14,000 on an Amex card in one month “mainly on clothing, nails, jewellery and restaurants”, got £13,000 worth of tattoos in six months and racked up a £1,000 Milan restaurant bill". And she gets to pay for his essential neo vagina as well. Poor woman.

Sounds like a classic case of the lawyers rubbing their hands with glee and encouraging a fight. Assets of £3m and they spent £1m on legal fees. It’s a ridiculous ruling, but she would’ve been much better off not fighting this.

As someone currently being treated for cancer I'd have ripped his fucking head off for this. How dare he equate his selfish demands to what I have absolutely no choice over.

'The husband, 58, had said that the argument was “like saying someone who had cancer should not have the surgery” during the hearing at Brighton Family Court.'

Jesus fucking christ.

Omg some of these judges need replacing

Yes she can appeal and I would

Been in brighton family court repeatedly as a litigant. I can assure you, the judges are no
more progressive or open minded than in London, I’d argue the opposite

Jarndyce v. Jarndyce springs to mind.

A friend of mine who’s a solicitor advised me not to go to court against a liar. Sometimes the bad guys win, he said. If she still stands to get a million and they’ve already wasted one million out of a possible three, it might well be time to stop. That said, it is genuinely outrageous. He’s survived this long without it so it obviously isn’t essential. Wonder if this is another judge wearing frilly knickers under his gown. Please tell me it wasn’t a woman that’s done this to another woman.

Wonder if he'd get the same outcome in Scunthorpe.

I can’t even bring myself to read it. Hopefully there’s enough awareness of trans widows now that you can all fight this one for us.

So he's not paying for his children but she's got to pay for his plastic surgery?

This. Thank you for saving me having to suggest this. I hope she, or someone who knows her, catches this thread and the fund thinks this is a case-law case worth fighting.

Absolutely scandalous and how devastating for his wife.

Imagine being such a total dick that even though you're that rich and have shat all over your marriage you still want to quibble over this, meanwhile happily splurging tens of thousands of pounds on tattoos and whatever else.

I've been walking around with holes in my trainers for more than a year because there is always something more important to spend the money on and guess what? It's always something for the kids. Because that's what parents do. Yet this prick can't pay maintenance?!

And this bit: 'The husband responded: “You marry a trans person. You live with a trans person. You benefit from a trans person. They are suicidal and you support them.” ' I highly fucking doubt his wife ever benefited from being with him, she's been stuck with a raging narcissist for decades and, yes, the trans issue has only reared it's ugly head in recent years but I'd bet good money that she dealt with a whole load of other shite from him while he was working up to it.

What an absolute arse wipe. This is abuse, and now it is being supported by the state. And the surgery won't even help, you can't fill the massive hole in the narcissist without a time machine to go back and fix whatever made them that way. So it really is lose lose. Absolutely horrendous.

If you watch the 'Through the looking glass' film on youtube about ordinary families and read accounts from children and wives of transitioners, they commonly describe these fathers stop contributing to food/ clothes for their children as they want beauty treatments and new clothes/ wigs/ breast implants instead.

I really want to know what 160K buys you in Trans surgery.

Quite. Putting his needs before any children.

I was going to post about whether the couple had a joint account, as it would be different if they each had their own bank accounts, and a shared one for household expenses. But it was a joint account, as made clear in the article, which is worth reading in full:

The judge agreed with the wife’s legal team that the husband had “shown no understanding whatsoever that her decision to transition to a woman has had an impact on anyone else, and particularly” the ex-wife.

Judge Farquhar said that while “there is no doubt that this has been a hugely difficult and emotionally draining experience” for the trans woman, “the lack of empathy” for the ex-wife “is striking”.

However, he said that could not be considered when dividing up the assets and the court “will not consider the reasons that a marriage broke down within financial remedy proceedings”.

He said he was satisfied the “surgery was meeting a genuine and deep-felt medical/psychological need”.

“This cannot be, and has not been, said to have been carried out as a whim when all of the effort and time that the respondent has invested in the process is considered,” the judge noted.

Therefore, it was “reasonable” for the money to be spent “out of joint resources”, he ruled.

And further evidence if needed as to why there needs to be a trans widows group:

the husband had “shown no understanding whatsoever that her decision to transition to a woman has had an impact on anyone else, and particularly” the ex-wife.

What the hell? That is horrifying.

The article is very confusing. He already had the surgery. It is already paid for, out of joint money . So , did the wife want that £80k back and she was denied? Which is not the same as being court ordered to pay her for her husband’s divorce.

He got away without paying any CSA - what a bastard - that’s just stealing money from his kids to pay for his beauty treatments. Just goes to show that we need to be more financially astute.

Do not hold a lot of cash in a joint account. divide up as you go along into ISAs and bonds etc. Gift to kids as soon as you can.

Not a need, a fetish.

And that's not a judge it's an activist.

“This cannot be, and has not been, said to have been carried out as a whim when all of the effort and time that the respondent has invested in the process is considered,” the judge noted.

Whereas the effort and time that a woman puts into bearing and raising children - often at the cost of health, body and career - is not sincere enough to warrant maintenance payments from the father. Sorry, the ejaculator.

Just in case anyone thought I was sympathetic to the man(!) it was more about the position of those who have a shared bank account, is she has to accept his surgery being paid for, how come she does get the money he didn't pay for child support etc..

That was an essential.

Just doesn't make sense.

I suspect that that various surgeries have been paid for and he is claiming half back as part of the financial agreement.

If all of the surgeries have not been done I would make sure that there was a clause in there that she got the money back and that he didn't keep it.

Great point.

I think this case shows that women need to try to get divorced ASAP before they start doing surgeries if possible.

I don't know the law there, but wouldn't he be applying for a gender certificate? In which case she could get an annulment and then half of their money is hers right now, end of story, right?