Humans can be classified in countless ways: by profession, income, age, allergies, eye colour, number of children, or even postcode. Some classifications align with how people see themselves, others don’t and being correctly classified can cause upset.
In some situations, a single category takes priority - often for practical reasons. For example, weight can determine rollercoaster access for safety purposes. This may conflict with someone's self-perception, especially if they believe other aspects, like their fitness or attractiveness, are being overlooked.
Navigating life successfully requires navigating the tension between practical labels and personal meaning. Transwomen find sex classification upsetting. There are many contexts where their sex is irrelevant, but in contexts where sex matters it can’t be overlooked. Attacking those who are highlighting where sex matters and suggesting they are seeking to eliminate trans people from being in society is nothing short of absurd. Denying trans people access to opposite sex essential provision would prevent them from being included in society in a dignified way IF alternative provision wasn’t being provided - but the law states it must be.
For what it’s worth, I am sympathetic to the upset this causes trans people and recognise that it cuts to the core of their identity.
If you genuinely want to support trans people, open your eyes to the fact that the law means single sex provision is for one sex only and that women advocating for this are motivated by the needs of females, not by a desire to harm transwomen. The power of this lie in silencing women who were fearful of the consequences of speaking up is diminishing, yet it’s power to make trans people wrongly feel hated and rejected is as strong as ever. Why don’t you direct your advocacy towards ensuring alternative provision for trans people is adequate in quality and number and that trans people can, where needed, access support to build resilience so they feel able to navigate a world where their identity won’t always align with how society is organised and how others perceive them.