I see Emma has also a long conversation with Marisa Johnson which I shall need to steel myself to listen to when I can face it.
I've just listened to this - a bit of a marathon. I do appreciate both Marisa and Emma for having this conversation, even if parts of it had me tearing my hair out, as the standard model until now for Quakers in authority has been to shun and silence sex-realist Quakers.
One of the many bits I found quite compelling was very near the end, when Marisa asked Emma if she saw Marisa's child - a thirty-something transman - as a man, and Emma admitted that no, she didn't see Marisa's child as a man. Marisa then asked Emma how she'd feel if Emma's same-sex marriage was minimised or devalued by other Quakers. (I paraphrase a bit.)
Emma was quite pragmatic in her answer, but I found myself wanting to tell Marisa that this is exactly what she, Marisa, was doing every time she described her trans-identified child, in a relationship with a man, as "gay". It's appropriative and an erasure of gay people to describe a heterosexual relationship as gay. Words mean things. I wish this couple every happiness, and it's lovely that her child has found a partnership that suits them, but as an opposite-sex couple they'd never have been forbidden to marry, never have been forbidden to visit each other in hospital as each other's significant other, etc etc. They may be homogender (for those who believe in gender), but they are not homosexual, and Marisa wades straight into dismissing and devaluing of homosexuality to insist that they are. She truly doesn't seem to realise how homophobic she's being.