How open are you about your views?

[Corneliusthecamel]

Hi everyone,

Just wondering how open/public everybody is about their views on a day to day basis?

This has become a bit of a source of conflict between my partner & I (both women) recently - my partner feels strongly about inclusivity, fully supports trans people, etc. My stance is much more gender critical. This is not a massive problem because we respect each other and basically just agree to disagree, it’s not a deal breaker. Regardless, it is nice that I can be open and we can have these insightful discussions.

But it’s got me thinking - I don’t think I could be so open about my thoughts in other areas of life. For instance at work, I would probably be pulled up on my views of gender (NHS - matron), and many colleagues have said that they are disappointed about the recent Supreme Court ruling. Same with friends. What in the situation for others?

My immediate family know my views and I have corrected a friend on Facebook who said sex isn't binary. I tend to stick with science (Caster Semenya is male, sex is binary). I have written to my MP welcoming the ban on puberty blockers. If anyone asked my opinion I would give it but so far no-one has. I work for myself but if I did work with others I'd probably restrict myself to speaking about the legal implications for my workplace and refusing to put pronouns on my email.

In my personal life, if someone asks me what I think I am completely honest, and if someone says something preposterous and it isn’t likely to ruin someone else’s evening or day I will challenge it.

At work, no-one has ever asked and I keep my mouth firmly closed, but I don’t have my pronouns on anything which does stand out a bit.

I have a holiday coming up and a couple are going to be very, very vocally TRA and my lovely, shared friend who organised the trip has asked me not to get into any drunken arguments, and I will not.

I plan to not say anything then when challenged just say “we have known each other years, we all know each other are good people with good intentions, and none of us are going to change our position even a tiny bit, so let’s just have a nice time”.I hope it works, but I am worried teen DD (baby terf) will get drawn into a huge row.

I work in the NHS and at work I have no views on politics, religion trans rights or anything else. When I worked in prison medical I had no opinions on the men's crimes either, it was my job to care for their medical needs.
Outside my job I say what I believe if asked but I'm not deliberately confrontational. As far as I am aware my friends know where I stand.
There are hills I will die on. I am the only member of staff that refuses to put my pronouns on anything email or badge nobody argues with me.
Outside I am outspoken when i need to be. I have lost a lot of friends over the trans issue.
One person actually reported me to my trust CEO for speaking out for women's rights.
Absolutely nothing happened. It was deemed I am perfectly within my rights to protect women's rights and be a feminist as long as I don't bring it to work or bring the trust into disrepute.
They are also far too short staffed to sack me.

Very open personally. Not at all on LinkedIn.

I speak to my children, partner, mother and anyone who will listen.

the silent majority are gender critical and they only stay silent because of big mouthed bullies.

I am glad to say I have flipped my 14 year old daughter and she has flipped her friends.

The SC ruling now makes me more comfortable to say that there are times when biological sex matters and I'm very pleased that definition is now clear. I also support inclusion of transpeople socially and now we need to have lots of discussion about when sex really matters and when we can and should 'be kind'. Most of all I'm happy we seem to have left the 'no debate' years behind!

If friends or colleagues bring it up I tell them honestly what I think. I don't mention it first.

Never on LinkedIn, but I rarely put stuff on LinkedIn anyway.

On Facebook, I don't start posts and I'm wary of liking or commenting on other posts as friends and family can see that, and there are trans people in my wider circle. But with the SC judgement I'm giving fewer fucks, and I've liked some posts and commented on some that are just outright lies (like "trans women are no threat to women") or offensive nonsense (like "only bigots want to exclude trans women").

I'm in a very lucky position that most of my friends and family are sex realists and I'm self employed, so I am extremely open about my views. I appreciate that it's difficult for people who work for the NHS or in education to speak out so I try to speak out for them.

I try to follow the advice of the wise women on here and ask questions to lead people to make their own decisions about why we need single sex spaces. It's quite shocking how many people still assume that a transwoman has had surgery. Lots of people still don't realise that men who identify as women have the same offending rates (or worse) than other men.

With so many headlines about the SC ruling, this is a good time to be chatting about the facts on social media.

I can absolutely understand that many people have to keep their head down on this topic because of their job being at risk, and also the prospect of upsetting family members.
I think the fact that the majority are indeed silent is part of the problem though as it gives a false impression on the popularity of trans ideology.
I am in the “lucky” position that I am retired and I have no close family so I think it is important to be open about my pro woman / pro biology views.

Increasingly open with a much wider range of friends, rather than the small group I knew who were GC until now.

I find just the fact the SC judgement happened is an easy opener - I ask them what they think... tis most interesting!

And I feel strong enough to talk to some close friends, who I knew were very TWAW, about their views, exploring shared viewpoints and differences with respect ... and sharing how tough it has been being a feminist who cares deeply about the most vulnerable and marginalised in our society and feeling unable to speak out about this .... (for me these groups are women in refuges and prisons, the severely disabled etc...)

I find LinkedIn a bit mad, some of the stuff people put on it is highly inappropriate and might even bring their employer into disrepute.

I say little at home as my uni aged offspring get upset with me. One has a trans friend and is very loyal and I understand that and don't want to start arguments for the sake of it.

I have always been open with my GC views and my friends and family agree. I work for the NHS and don't have pronouns in my email signature, less than half of the team do. I told my line manager I wouldn't be adding pronouns to my email and she said she wasn't either 😀. Don't go on about it at work but would stand my ground if challenged.

If it comes up in conversation I'm direct.

I'm over hiding it as a source of shame in my life.

I am kind and don't see it as kind to others to uphold a lie. I am not a bad person. I am not a fascist. I understand the rule of law and how a lie in law only creates injustices and feelings in head can not be legislated for. I understand the principles of democracy rely on truth and justice. It should never have been allowed to get this far - it's a mismanagement issue which isn't for me to maintain m

I feel my brother has been mislead, betrayed, experimented on and manipulated. I can't change this for him but I can stop it for others.

I hold no guilt in saying this. The guilt is not mine to shoulder.

Ultimately the lie harmed him and it continues to harm others.

I want no part in it.

It's time other people started to justify themselves.

I work in law. it’s fully captured by stonewall law. People talk in hushed tones but never publicly as people get hauled over the coals for any suggestion that men aren’t women. Our policies are hideous.

I am currently just waiting for the SC to hit. They’ll come a time when we can’t operate a business in a manner that we are specifically telling our clients is a risk.

Like many I would speak out but I have a family to feed and all law firms are similarly captured.

I say nothing at all at work now (NHS). My clinical lead and a couple of others in the team have pronouns in their email signature, most don't and we've never been encouraged to add them. I said something explicit about my beliefs in a meeting a few years ago when I was having increasing difficulty with working for a specialist service for trans people that I fundamentally disagree with as a feminist, which was appropriate as it was agreeing that I should stop that work. Everyone who was in that meeting has retired now.

I am much more engaged with how to deal with overt racism by patients and its impact on Black colleagues and on patient therapy. Oddly enough I don't have racial information on my email signature either.

It really is ridiculous that people are afraid to state that men aren't women. I'm not being critical of those people who are afraid to speak up and lose their jobs/friends, I'm astounded at the absurdity of where we are as a society.

I won't discuss it at work, but I don't use pronouns and if someone asked directly for my pronouns I say just use my name please.
With friends and family I'm open. One sister is gc the other is be kind. Her eldest autistic child's bestie is non binary. She knows my position and I know hers, no drama.

The more people stand up and be counted, the more people will
stand up and be counted.

stand up if you possibly can

Like Red I have a brother who was manipulated at a vulnerable time, he is damaged now and for the rest of his life. Nobody should go through that. I am open about my views when the subject comes up, but I do not tend to bring it up myself.

I join a small group of local women every week for a sport. When they discuss our neighbour, a man who claims to be a woman, they say "she". I always say "he" and they are clearly taken aback, but they have not kicked me out of the group.

We met the night of the SC ruling. One woman said "but where will [man who claims to be a women] go to the toilet?" I get it that phallic drift is a thing but there was no drift here, she went straight to the menz and only the menz! I do explain to them that when sex matters, sex matters, but they have been hoodwinked to be kind and probably just think I am behind the times and unable to change.

Personal life, open. The friends I have talked to about this have had no resistance to anything I've said. I think most of them have been silently thinking the same. My mother has subtly disagreed with my stance for the past several years, but more recently she has admitted she can see how woman's rights are being affected. We're still not completely on the same page, but for the first time she can actually see my perspective.

Professionally, I have been keeping my mouth shut. There has been talk for a while of setting up a woman's group though. I will absolutely push for it to go ahead and to follow the EHRC interim guidance.

I tend to tailor the degree of openness about my views depending on the situation. Regardless of how I personally feel, it's overridden by a sense of respect for the right of others to hold opinions I don't share.

I think the issue is often there is so much tribalism - on both sides - that many people are afraid to air their views for fear of being attacked for them.
The result is that people tend, and trend, toward their own 'camps' and just end up venting into an echo chamber, which only serves to entrench rather than educate.

When everybody shouts, nobody listens.

If you speak to me about it, you'll know. If you're on my Facebook, even if you don't acknowledge my posts, I presume you're GC, because it's pretty easy to unfriend me and I've been loud on Facebook for years. I also stood in my local library and told the staff why I thought DQST was a bad idea ( before it happened, but it did still happen). Lots of people agreed with me, but the big noise in our town has a brother who does something similar, so there was much " be kind" on the library FB page. I always order new GC books at the library and talk to one member of staff about them. I wear a suffragette colours pin badge. My children, 23 and 13 are both GC.

I am not open at all outside family and close friends. I don’t join in many conversations about trans issues, it doesn’t come up much. But if it does, I’ve learnt from experience that there’s no point discussing it, it’s rarely a calm rational discussion and I’m a very non confrontational person.
I don’t do pronouns on emails, but most people where I work don’t either.

I am completely open with friends and family.
If I am in a group setting of people I know (or loosely know) and someone specifically asks me my opinion I am not ashamed to say it.

I will admit after a few scary confrontations I don't volunteer my opinions proactively when around strangers.
I am not proud of this but the level of anger, hatred and aggression has showed me I do need to be careful.

I’m very open with my friends and family but don’t put anything on social media.

I work for a very captured organisation so I am discreet at work. I have in the past raised concerns at work with my boss following a particularly egregious presentation and also explained that I would not be adding pronouns to my auto signature and email.

I have gone full force in previous colleague surveys in reaction to organisational decisions.

I’m waiting with interest to see what our organisation does in the light of the SC ruling. Nothing so far.