How open are you about your views?

[Corneliusthecamel]

Hi everyone,

Just wondering how open/public everybody is about their views on a day to day basis?

This has become a bit of a source of conflict between my partner & I (both women) recently - my partner feels strongly about inclusivity, fully supports trans people, etc. My stance is much more gender critical. This is not a massive problem because we respect each other and basically just agree to disagree, it’s not a deal breaker. Regardless, it is nice that I can be open and we can have these insightful discussions.

But it’s got me thinking - I don’t think I could be so open about my thoughts in other areas of life. For instance at work, I would probably be pulled up on my views of gender (NHS - matron), and many colleagues have said that they are disappointed about the recent Supreme Court ruling. Same with friends. What in the situation for others?

I am open with my family who also share my views.
I have started being more vocal in my local area. A while ago I emailed my city councillor and I found out she is very much GC, it surprised me because she is Labour. I’ve rejoined the Labour Party and will be going to my local LP meeting where I plan to also communicate my views. That is making me nervous though tbh.

Interesting question!
Being 21 and very "upfront" (I'm told!), I make my views known when I need to - or usually, as friends would say, when I don't need to! - BUT I tend to be careful when among ppl I don't know (or don't know WELL) for fear of being told off for "reacting like a 60 year old" as one teenage boy said of me.

I work in the NHS (not a Trust) and couch my views consistently in term of evidence of benefit/harms and from a medical standpoint. No one is any doubt as to my position though and I have had not only had no pushback but been asked to speak elsewhere on the subject.

My family very much know and all my friends who are close enough to know my views on anything political. I do not know anyone who is a TRA though my youngest is very be kind and we mutually avoid the subject as much as possible. She knows sex is real though.

I have a read only anonymous twitter account, no FB and a barebones LinkedIn that I never use. So, out and proud - but IRL only. I very much admire those who take it non-anonymously, online. But the risk of being mischaracterised is too high for me.

Thanks, it’s interesting to hear everyone’s different views. I had a baby last year and whilst she’s obviously far too young right now to understand anything, I’m already thinking of the future and how we can combine my views and my partner’s views to give her the best, most factual understanding of the world as she grows up.

Of course… Who even knows what the world will be like by the time she’s a teen! I can only hope that we continue to proceed in the right direction

I keep my views to myself as I have a lot of ‘be kind’ friends. Work is totally captured too. I have one very gc friend and I’ve discussed it with my dh who sort of ‘gets’ it.

Like many others I keep my mouth shut at work - it’s very captured and would make things very uncomfortable for me.

At home and with friends I have had open conversations about the ridiculousness of all this and most people agree.

I have one gay male friend who I have known for 15+ years, who I haven’t really spoken about this much with - I briefly mentioned it regarding the Barbie kardashian fiasco a few years ago (we are in Ireland) and he didn’t get it, basically trotted out of the line of poor trans etc. It was disappointing but bot surprising, he’s male so he doesn’t have to get it. He’s gay and sees anything critical of trans automatically as an attack on his community.

Very vocal. Be it my online presence, on here, at home, socially and very much so at work. I will not be censored and I will not silence what I think or feel to makes others feel better.

A lot of my close friends agree with me on GC, so I am open with them. Would never mention it at work, but I am on various committees related to diversity so try to steer things in a sensible way there (eg with diversity questions ensuring that sex is there as well as “gender”). I do have friends that are very TRA and with them I don’t say anything, no one is going to change anyone’s minds, I think they are aware though but we are all thankfully sensible and can agree to disagree as long as we aren’t throwing it in each other’s faces.

Pretty open in my personal life.Had a bit of a falling out last year with my sister and BIL as they're both firmly TWAW. In the end we kind of just stopped bringing it up when we got together. Now we don't talk politics at all (which is kinda weird tbh as we're very much a left wing Labour voting family).

Everyone else in my family is GC, including my kids so that just makes it easier.

It's not something I would talk about at work. It's never come up and there's an unwritten rule that we don't talk politics apart from laughing at the insane thing Trump has done that day.

I'd be honest if someone asked me directly, but I wouldn't bring it up myself.

My teen son flipped me 🤦 well MN did and he was right all along. He's Autistic. I was 'be kind' before.

I'm still ' be kind' on many elements but I will openly say that politically, the trans ideology is very damaging for the future of women. I will caveat by saying I'm ok calling an individual what they'd like to , within reason, if it's a one on one situation.

I work in a University in professional services. I have been out as a terf in my personal life for a few years. I remember towards the end of 2021 being taken to task by two friends who frankly should have known better but many bright women (and women) who I should be able to depend one are woefully under informed. Some of them are even outright TWAW/most disadvantaged minority types.

Just yesterday I was in a (male) friend's car and Radio5live extra was interviewing a female soccer player complaining about the FA ban on TW. I said something and the male friend said "you sound like my mum".

On fb lately I have posted (about Sharron Davies on R4 the other day - fantastic interview and who could argue about keeping men out of women's sports), and put comments countering lots of shite/liking lots of terfy stuff.

At work I've got bolder with colleagues and I will continue to be even though the institution is captured.

Not open at work - I was open in my last job and was called a TERF and then my life was made difficult so I resigned. Now I keep quiet. My friends know my views, some agree and others are captured. It’s a source of arguments, but I do think some of my friends are coming over from the dark side, especially those who have had kids - they seem to have pushed this nonsense away, one even said she didn’t want her child being told he can change sex or having pro trans material read to them.

I'm open though don't actually know that many people but most of them are GC and I've got some good friends to discuss things with. The ones who aren't I tend to avoid these days as they're all completely brainwashed True Believers and I can't tolerate the bullshit they come out with.

Luckily for me my DH and family are all very firmly GC so don't need to worry about any of them. My dad was a very old school GP before he retired and thinks it all ridiculous; I can just imagine him doing a Sir Robert Winston to the room at large - 'I will say this categorically, you cannot change your sex'. Me and my cousin are planning to go to a LWS speak event soon and are looking forward to going along together. She can't talk about it at work so we make up for that between us.

Only if it comes up in conversation, which I'm amazed rarely ever happens. It's like we're all trying to ignore going there.

But I've been open with a number of friends and open with my immediate family. They either agree or don't feel that strongly. One (an ex friend but for different reasons) disagrees but she's gone on to act a bit strangely in general so her opinion holds less water for me.

I've terfed out on FB, not on my own page but on public posts and a few friends have liked what I've said. I also terfed out on my friend's page but felt safe as he lives in another country, it was in disagreement but I'm not all that bothered.

I believe that the definition of a woman is biological sex (basically agree with the Supreme Court ruling). My family and close friends know this (although to be fair it’s not something that gets discussed that much). For some reason I would never disclose this at work…not sure why, used to work for a big Corporate and was a bit scared to really? Although to be fair no one has ever asked. Crazy in this day and age it’s scary to disclose that you think a woman is a woman but we are where we are!

Prod me and I'll speak my mind. However, I don't climb us to any rooftop to broadcast.

A lot of my work is linked to firms from countries where language (and a lot else) is heavily gendered. It can be jolting to cross back to the anglosphere.

What I do now is to try to not use The Cult's terms. I tend to use Male or Female and add an adjective.

With friends, it depends on the context of our friendship. The friends I meet through volunteering are old-school feminists (one founded the local Women's Aid back around 1970), and one of them is definitely GC. I suspect a lot of the others are too, but I don't bring it up - just in case

One of my old uni friends is married to a TW, and they are both very active TRAs online. Two of our mutual friends have hinted that they're bored with all the self-absorbed loopy rhetoric, but we don't say it directly.

Yes I agree with you - crazy that we even have to consider whether or not we should say that! For me personally, I feel work would come down on me heavily for not being ‘inclusive’ enough, etc etc, if I was to say how I feel. Sad really and ideally yes we should all stand proud of our views, but you’ve got to have your job and life so sometimes that unfortunately means keeping more neutral than I’d like.

My family know my views and the majority agree with me - DD is a bit woke, unfortunately (works for a US firm, that might be why?). Occasionally I post on Facebook, but the page is not obviously me (unless you know me very, very well). I am retired. You'd think that means I could say what I liked. Unfortunately the part-time work I do probably includes lots of woke people, but no-one has ever asked my views. The volunteering I do I am careful to be unpolitical in all ways (I enjoy volunteering in this place and I don't want to be told I am not wanted anymore). I also belong to a writers forum - same there and it also means I censor what of my work I read out. And in church there is a TiM (who is 40ish, very tall, with a deep male voice and wears pigtails - sometimes I itch to tell him how badly he wears woman face!) and he is accepted afaik - again, no one has asked my views and I do not speak to him or in any way interact with him. So the public me is silent, the Facebook me hides behind a perfectly legal name which does not out me to random strangers. So much for taking your whole self to work!

I try to be non political at work but everyone knows my views. I am outspoken on women in our profession as so many leave. We are actually having to bring up the SC ruling for guidance so I try and keep it factual. In my personal life I am very out but try not to bore people!

Echoing other posters: at work, I keep politics out of it. However, I haven't and will not (although I think we're now on the reverse trend of it luckily) put my "pronouns" on badge/email.

To be honest, truthfully at work (large liberal organisation) most people appear to feel similar to me when smaller group conversations have taken place.

I'm careful who I say what to, as it's not always worth the battle. Sometimes it's best not to raise the topic. But repeating myself, luckily it transpires most people feel the same as I do. There's only 1 person who I was fairly close to at work that was very..... "Progressive" shall we say. I listened to them air their views and swiftly changed the subject afterwards. I was never going to "win" that battle and it would have ended badly. Best not to go there in a work environment.

I'm fairly similar to you OP. I have a DH who just wants to be kind and inclusive to everyone. We agree to disagree and for the sake of loving everything else about each other don't talk about it.
Most my friends are members of the gender cult so I have kept my opinions quiet to not be ostracised (all loved harry potter and now can't possibly forgive jk rowling).
I'm also nhs, although i have discussed my opinion a little with some people and there are quite a few colleagues who agree. I am a bit careful what I say in front of who. My manager said she thinks TW shouldn't be in women's sport or prisons (unpromted! She is from a farming family so I suspect that helps here, farmers generally understand sex!). I've not heard anyone at work express disappointment about the supreme court ruling but I thought I'd better not bring it up so not heard anyone mention it. The day of the ruling I was WFH so wouldn't have heard the chat about it at the time.

I admire the people who speak out and change opinions. I've always been shy and socially awkward, and crumble a bit under attack so I don't want to pick a fight or end up with no friends. I'm also desperate to be promoted at work so don't want to be rocking the boat too much!

I'm open with friends and families, and happy to speak with acquaintances if it comes up. Many of my friends have moved from paying lip service to gender ideology to being critical of it as they see the damage it is doing to friends kids and women's rights.
My teens are both sex realists, and both despair at some of the performative stuff their (lovely) mates come out with to fit it.

I'm careful who I mention it to, but no one has disowned me yet. Not even the friend who has worked for a gay men's charity and also supported a trans service user. Although, he did once say to me, "OK, J K Rowling". I work for a university, and needless to say, it has been captured, so I've only talked about it with one of my colleagues.

I went to stay with a very left-wing friend last year and she mentioned that all of her family are big fans of JKR's books. She also has a copy of an acclaimed novel by another GC writer. I asked her what she thought of it and she said it was brilliant. We didn't discuss gender issues (contrary to what trans activists seem to think about us, it's something I rarely mention IRL). But I get the distinct impression that she wouldn't have thrown me out of her house.😆

My parents' don't seem particularly interested in this topic, but only day or two ago, there was an item on the news about males being banned from a particular women's sport and my DF remarked, "common sense, at last!"

Like @RedToothBrush and @ILikeDungs I have a brother who is now Trans.

Critical before because of feminism and LGB rights conflicting. My DH & kids were more be kind.
DH & I had both worked with transwomen respectfully on an individual basis but disliked them as colleagues because the most irrelevant things would be trans framed.
DH is still professionally silent since my brother switched he has dropped the be kind as have my kids.
I manage the whole pronoun, new name as does my mum but we are both even more critical behind his back. The contrast between his trans lecturing and cliched posturing with our life experience and his prior banter is too great.