Pulled up at work for ‘trans views’

[wherearethemarsbars]

Recently, a colleague at my company has declared that they are ‘agender’ and asexual and has asked to be addressed as ‘they’. As a result, my company decided to arrange a trans training session where some trans people came in to talk to us all about gender and terminology etc etc.

During this session, I was asked to describe my experience of living as a ‘cis woman’. I said that I didn’t have any experience of living as a cis woman, only as a woman so I couldn’t comment. I was pressed further and didn’t say much, only that the term ‘cis woman’ doesn’t align with my personal beliefs of what a woman is, so therefore declined to comment any further.

A few days later, I was pulled up on this by management who said that my behaviour was not acceptable and that I should be making an effort to be inclusive to everyone. I’m a bit baffled. Can I get others’ thoughts on this topic?

How much do you like your job?

How easy would it be to get another?

I honestly don't think you did anything wrong by refusing to accept being referred to as a cis woman. I would find the term offensive myself.

Unfortunately though, I think it will take some time still before all of this type of mangling of the language ends.

That’s not the point is it? The recent SC ruling knocks this compelled speech nonsense out of the park. Respect works both ways, no woman has to acquiesce to being called ‘cis’.

You didn't make any remarks about "trans". You were asked questions about your own experience, I can't see what you did wrong. I'm sure the Forstater judgement puts your employers in the wrong here.

No, but if that remains the coercive, shaming atmosphere at work it might become intolerable to remain.

I can’t see what you said was wrong, I would have said the same.

You didn't do anything wrong. I had similar for questioning why a trans woman was on our IWD panel. Someone more educated than me will be along to advise but ultimately the law is on your side.

I'd ask them to put their concerns in writing to me. That would be very interesting.

Tell them the term cis is offensive to many women and they have an obligation to respect your beliefs in exactly the same way as they respect X's personal beliefs. Then direct them to the Supreme Court judgement and point out that your personal beliefs align with the law and any disciplinary actions on their part would be unlikely to stand up in an employment tribunal.

Then I'd fuck them off and find another job where women aren't treated as second class citizens.

I hate the term cis. I would be asking my boss why my beliefs that I am a woman and not a cis woman isn't being inclusive? It's not as if you are denying or have said anything bad about trans people. This cis word needs to bugger off.

This (edit: sorry, I know ‘This’ posts are annoying! But it’s a simple way of making them pause to hopefully realise they’re out of line legally)

Ask them why you aren't allowed to define yourself as you wish and why they believe your identity isn't valid. Why aren't they, as an employer, inclusive to you, as someone whose rights on the basis of sex, in the Equality Act 2010, have just been clarified unambiguously in the Supreme Court?

And point them to the outcome of Maya Forstater's employment tribunal.

This

I have no advice op. Cis implies there are two subsets of the category woman - cis and trans. Unless you are a gender ideologist it is clear that this is not the case and obviously no-one should be forced to take part in other people's religion at work. However, your workplace sounds like it's not ready for this debate.

And absolutely this

What you say is absolutely true, however that doesn’t mean OP isn’t about to experience some very unpleasant targetting at work, possibly led by the person who adopted a new special identity, closely backed by the management.

My questions were not intended to imply “OP should simply leave.” If she loves her job and wants to stay, what she chooses to do next might be influenced by the answers to the questions I asked, possibly alongside a third question, “How far are you willing to stick your neck out and how important is this subject to you?”

Thanks everyone, it’s interesting to hear your views. This is in a private healthcare setting where I am a senior nurse.

Apologies, I didn’t intend to come across as curt! I see your point, but it enrages me that this is how some women have to work, especially now the law has been clarified. It’s just madness!

This is a great idea!

Paraphrasing someone from a recent thread:

Some lived experiences are more valid than others, clearly.

You did nothing wrong OP - stand your ground. I agree with the pp who said you should ask for their response in writing - the Forstater ruling puts the law firmly on your side, and I don't imagine a private healthcare company will want to open themselves up to a legal case they will lose.

Point out that you simply answered a question honestly, and ask them to set out how they believe their approach aligns with the Forstater and Supreme Court judgments.

I would be tempted to respond with something like:

Dear Management Wanker,

Thank you for organising the training session. I've had a chance to consider my experience as a "cis woman" and can describe it as follows:

-the lifelong biological reality of being female, which involves menstruation, contraception, the physical impact of pregnancy and birth plus the career impact of maternity leave, and menopause
-casual everyday misogyny such as lack of adequate workplace toilet provision for females experiencing the above
-deliberate systematic misogyny such as the assumption that I consent to be labelled as "cis"
-societal expectations that I will prioritise kindness and inclusivity over my legal rights as a woman under the 2010 Equality Act

I'd be happy to organise a training session explaining recent legal clarification and what discrimination is and isn't in the workplace if needed.

Regards

Emphasise that you found the training helpful in working with trans clients, patients and colleagues.

And that you have no difficulty being inclusive as you have no anti Trans+ feelings or beliefs.

However your own identity as a woman is sex based and you use the definition ‘woman’ to describe yourself.

You are fully supportive of other’s identities and hope that respect within a team is 100% mutual.

Smile

<<through gritted teeth >>

Interesting, maybe I will. I was basically told that my behaviour wasn’t acceptable and that I should be making an effort to use inclusive terminology, and that I was undermining the point of the training session. Also that as a nurse in a senior position, I should be setting an example for junior colleagues 🤷‍♀️