Pulled up at work for ‘trans views’

[wherearethemarsbars]

Recently, a colleague at my company has declared that they are ‘agender’ and asexual and has asked to be addressed as ‘they’. As a result, my company decided to arrange a trans training session where some trans people came in to talk to us all about gender and terminology etc etc.

During this session, I was asked to describe my experience of living as a ‘cis woman’. I said that I didn’t have any experience of living as a cis woman, only as a woman so I couldn’t comment. I was pressed further and didn’t say much, only that the term ‘cis woman’ doesn’t align with my personal beliefs of what a woman is, so therefore declined to comment any further.

A few days later, I was pulled up on this by management who said that my behaviour was not acceptable and that I should be making an effort to be inclusive to everyone. I’m a bit baffled. Can I get others’ thoughts on this topic?

WHEN did this happen OP? If after the SC ruling I'd have to question the faculties of whoever had words with you. Totally unprofessional and stupid to raise this following a clear ruling like that. There are two sexes male and female and no subsets at all.

If the dressing down took place PRIOR to the SC ruling, then your response will be exactly the same now. The law hasn't changed one iota, merely clarified.

I cannot understand how any employer could still try and foment discord on this subject right now.

Yes, this exactly.

I find the term ‘cis’ highly offensive. I identify as a woman. If my employer pulled me up on this I would feel that they were excluding me and how I ‘identify’. I.e as an adult human female. I suggest you take the same approach with your employer OP. I bet a lot of people in the room were in agreement with you.

You are setting an excellent example to junior colleagues OP.

Also the law is firmly on your side.

If I were you I'd thank them for their opinion, but make it clear it's up to you how you describe yourself and go on your merry way.

to be fair this person isn’t getting up to anything in the bedroom…

Your view is protected by law and your employer has potentially harassed you.

Haha, fair point.

I was going to say this too. I'm old senior in my work place and vocal in our Women in Science campaigns/conferences.
I have the confidence to speak out where more junior colleagues may feel less able (an issue in itself obviously).

It’s the ‘look at ME, validate Me, listen to ME’ brigade, they are SO bloody boring!

I object to being called cis as well I don’t identify as having a gender identity so I’m just a woman. I do think your attitude would demonstrate something to colleagues and that is you are entitled to your own opinion on this matter abd thst is a powerful thing,

And honestly this type of 'training' is bullshit.

No it doesn't. It means someone who has a gender identity that aligns with their sex. In order to be cis, you must have a gender identity. Not everyone has one.

Personally, I think gender is a tool used by the patriarchy to oppress women mainly but also gay men and I refuse to buy in to it. My sex is female and I refute the patriarchy's efforts to force stereotypes on me.

I would be going back and saying that the comments they have made to you are bullying and harassment. You are entitled to your own view. I would be asking why you should have to accept being called a cis woman as you don’t believe you are and why do trans rights trump your right to call yourself what you want.

Unfortunately there’s a real push to totally ignore the law and just state what they want the law to be. Eg I’ve seen lots of FB posts by various Pride groups saying trans people still have the right to use whatever toilets they feel aligns with their agenda.

When challenged they seem to absolutely believe it. I have to very carefully and thoroughly go through the law, it’s a message clearly being spread from somewhere to maintain confusion. I’ve had to message several admins of Facebook groups saying the incorrect legal position is being put forward which could leave local businesses open to legal proceedings for breach of the Equality Act 2010.

Absolutely this!

Wow you are a formidable woman. I hope your colleagues take note.

There are no CIS women.

There are women.
And there are transwomen.

Starmer's brown shirted thought police will be after you when they hear of this. Having an opinion that doesn't align with Labour's world view is deemed hate nowadays .... go straight to jail, do not pass GO.

I haven't read every post, but I agree with earlier comments that if you want to take it further, you should ask management to put their concerns in writing.

If they will not do so, you can set out your recollection of what happened at the initial training session and in the meeting a few days later.

Keep everything calm and factual. They do not have the law on their side; you do. (In fact, I'm not even sure they have gender ideology on their side either. If the point is that you subjectively experience and claim your own gender, surely that includes not having any gender identity, so that you're not cis, trans or anything else. Importantly, that does not preclude others from claiming a gender identity if they want one.)

Keep a contemporaneous written record of all verbal interactions.

Hopefully nothing will come of this; but if there is ever a disciplinary process against you, or you need to make a complaint, the written evidence will be enormously helpful.

It's also a useful guide for your communications - you should be happy for any and all emails/messages to be read by a judge or printed in The Daily Mail. To be clear, your position can be strong, but don't engage in name calling, ad hominem attacks, hyperbole etc.

Personally I find criticism of how your prefer yourself to be referred to as equal to anyone else and how they wish to be addressed. Why do you have to accept a name someone else has decided for you

Great advice @SpeedReader

I'd recommend contacting the free speech union for help, and joining them. They are very good on these matters.

I respect my colleagues pronouns and my own beliefs by referring to people in the third person.

"Kurbick is Stacey coming to the meeting?"
"I'm not sure I'll ask Stacey if Stacey is coming to the meeting."

Exactly. For all they knew you could have identified as a trans man or non binary.

So it’s no longer enough to be accommodating of others; you’re expected to not only buy into this “gender restructuring” but you’re also expected to relabel yourself. I’d be getting out of there PDQ. Out of interest; is it a public sector job?