Them and they isn’t the right term right?

[storminabuttercup]

On Friday we were discussing the ruling at work, a man in my team (who’s teen identifies as they) said it’s just easier to refer to everyone as they/them?

i disagree massively he’s confused the hell out of us with this already

I’m not they or them because I’m a woman and not plural, he’s been doing this for months now and I’ve bit my tongue

how would you handle this?

I would ignore and carry on using sexed pronouns.

I do, but he’s going to continue to refer to me as they?

Tell him to stop misgendering you?

Tell him you want to be referred to as she not they. Why does what he wants take priority over what you want?

See the misgendering thing is what worries me, we’ve just agreed that sex not gender matters so is he mid-sexing me?

Continue biting your tongue because it's respectful

Correct him "i prefer to be referred to by my name or by female pronouns"

if he does it again "you are doing that on purpose, that is harassment, if you continue, i will escalate"

And just ignore him if he doesn't use your name.

Assume you're joking here?

Respectful to who? I’m not they. I’m she, her, etc I’m not they

I bloody hope so

This is what I’ll do

i do think the judgement allows me to do this

Is he a bit dim or trying to wind you up?

well - my personal view is that gender is the tool of my oppression - but EVEN IF you accept his gender belief system, he’s still misgendering you if you identify as female

however - I use they for singular a lot in writing about a si gel person where I don’t know their sex or their sex is not relevant/I prefer to not note their sex

in which case they them does indeed work for singular or plural

I agree with him. I wouldn't be surprised if using Mx on letters and using they/them for everyone becomes increasingly common. I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

I think a mix of the two. It doesn’t help that the boss has trans kids

you have always been allowed to do this.

In English, you refer to people by their name if you know it, and by a personal pronoun (he or she) if you don't. If you need to refer to someone by using a pronoun and you don't know their sex you use they. If you are referring to multiple people you use they.

(i know you know this, but you could explain it to him? sort of "i know they don't always teach grammar in English classes...")

He is seriously complicating things. Stirring the pot probably to make some kind of point. If you can make him look stupid while you are completely reasonable, he'll stop.

Just to point out this isn't anything to do with the judgement.

If you're female you've always been a she and he should have been using that. The judgement doesn't change anything

It's clearly nothing to do with the judgement for him either because you said he's been doing it for months.

Wow. I’m married but use my maiden name and mise because I’m not defined by my marital status

yes I’ve been doing this already as you suggest. It’s bloody hard work 😓

This is a great way to stoke up resentment of trans people, which I assume they and their families are absolutely not intending?

They often mistakenly argue that 'they/them' is a neutral term, and so everybody should be happy with it, but it is most certainly not the case at all.

Until very recently, 'they', when used to refer to just one person, had a long history of only being used to refer to an unknown or hypothetical person. Why would you not be offended by a colleague who knows you referring to you with a pronoun that demotes you to the status of an unknown person - unless you had specifically asked to be referred to as 'they', which you obviously most definitely have not.

It's like the equivalent of you insisting on referring to that colleague as 'somebody' or 'that person' every time - and insisting that 'it's just neutral and is appropriate for everybody', instead of having the basic respect to call him Steve or Phil or Tom or whatever his actual name is.

Tell him you’re a woman so if he wants to refer to you the word is she. He can refer to people as they if he chooses, but that’s not your choice & not your pronoun. He sounds insufferable.

So is it actually your boss you're talking about?
And does the boss refer to the kids with the kids' preferred pronouns?

A surprisingly large number of people who have been captured by the ideology - many of them also with Main Character Syndrome - do genuinely believe this to be fair: that it's somehow 'fair' that the vast majority of people should be routinely disrespected and treated like they aren't important, in order to show virtual-signalled solidarity with trans people, who may not even be present.

It's odd, really, because huge numbers of trans-identifying people themselves actively want (and often insist) on being called 'he' or 'she', albeit not the one corresponding to their biological sex.

Exactly this, you’ve articulated what I was trying to say so much better!

Just ignore the bloody buffoon.
Simple.