The Bluestocking Arms Women's Pub, where women make friends with Beetles, Androids, Cakes, Dragons, Hedgehogs and other women, where wit and wisdom flourish

[inkymoose]

Here at the Bluestocking there's a place for all women. A break from Reality, and many laughs and stories to share. Have your fill of Tunnocks bars and tea cakes, sing feminist anthems, drink as much beer or gin or hot chocolate as you desire. It won't make you fatter or drunken but oh, it's fun. Sit in the garden with our Lion resident or the Quokkas and Capybara. Express your opinions loudly in Pedantry Corner. Ask for whatever you fancy to be served by our obliging Gerbil staff. Come in, all women, welcome!

😁I have a hip flask on the table next to my sofa spot at the moment. DH put it there the other night, to save him having to bounce up and down to refill mu sloe gin (no gerbil waiting staff at Stourton Court...)

Brains and Batshit want their afternoon walk. Batshit is alternately whinging, wandering around huffing, and lying down in (fleeting) resignation. Brains spent a solid 10 minutes trying out her best Jedi mind-tricks (glaring at me from the floor as I sat at the kitchen table) and then gave up.

Oops... no, Batshit has got up and is trying her Jedi mind-tricks. She's not as good at this as Brains, she hasn't the concentration span: 5 seconds vs over a minute...

Jedi mind-tricks in stereo now... I give up. Batshit looks Very Sad. Brains looks pissed off. The second I shut this laptop, all hell will break loose.

I have heard that the gerbils will be performing the very secret Anciente And Venerable Tooth Dance in the stableyard at 4.45.

Gillian and Gormlaith, terrible at keeping things to themselves, have let slip that some other gerbils (HA!) have 'borrowed' @Swashbuckled 's yardarm and are planning a novel conclusion to the performance that will involve a number of them leaping over it while clutching blazing torches representing the sun. Why Oh Why.

I have asked Giant wombat to organise the capybaras into a bucket chain so that we can extinguish any resultant conflagration.

I sometime wish the gerbils were a little less lively minded and inventive

In case it turns a bit chilly I've organised the hot chocolate bowser. In a pinch it can be used to put out any fires.

Hello and welcome, @BabyOrca - it’s a bit mad here, but in the best possible way. And nothing has calories or gets you drunk.

As some of you know, I'm a regular peruser of Ben Pentreath's Inspiration blog.

This week there are many delectable photos of Nancy the miniature dachshund, surely a grand-niece of Colin. I suppose Orkney to the Bluestocking would be a bit far for her to visit, though we would make her welcome. And she'd have to leave her man over at the Ally.

That is a marvellous image! Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!

Hilarity abounds and also lots of support for days when it all gets a bit much.

I imagined you frolicking close to Swashbuckled's ship, but AI has made her the figurehead and you're very happily on dry land. 🤔

We're not remotely mad, @BabyOrca , @SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius is just joshing. Nowhere saner could be found.

Okay, some of the gerbils are slightly excitable.

If that's the tooth dance, what have they got planned for May Day?

As I understand it, no teeth except their own, flowery muslin dresses for the gerbils, and Wombat, wearing white, to be crowned Queen of the May.

Swash might be well advised to set up a security patrol, those idiots enterprising rodents who nicked borrowed her yardarm seem under the impression her mast would make a very good maypole.

Though, you know, if they did the maypole dance on the ship it would keep them all in one place for a while. We could watch from the wharf. Wombat could stay on shore with us if she prefers.

Thank you for the warning, @DeanElderberry , I’ll set out for the stable yard in a minute to support ye Anciente And Venerable Tooth Dance.

Welcome @BabyOrca to this most supportive, and sensible(ish), venue.

Welcome to @BabyOrca 😊

Among other stresses this week, my microwave died. It is the only problem I can sort out quickly and a new one is on its way.

I’ve realised I’m sitting here thinking about how I can “dress” my new microwave. Is that a thing? I think I may have killed the last one by having three wooden chopping boards stacked on top of it and a fruit bowl. It looked nice, in a country-chic way, but perhaps it was just slow murder by overloading.

So I’m looking at lighter ways of “dressing” it. A naked microwave looks so stark and bereft. I do register that I may sound like some sort of kitchen lunatic, but it really does seem the right thing to do.

Anyway, if your microwave is still going strong with long-placed objects on top of it, do feel free to let me know what they are.

Look at them! Who knew they could jump like that.

VERY impressive sense of rhythm.

Gosh!

Isn't Gladiola sweet, she looks so proud and solemn.

The AI will need a while to settle into having a new pub member. I asked it to depict gerbils in the Bluestocking pub doing an impromptu performance to celebrate the majesty of @BabyOrca.

I honestly don't think either the painting of men or the man with the guitar adds much to the performance.

oh good, @Swashbuckled doesn't seem to have found out about the yardarm. Once the 'sun' has gone over maybe we can get the miscreants to Put It Back, and she'll never know.

Boo to the man, but the orca-painted gerbils look very snappy.

@DeanElderberry

They borrowed my yardarm?!? Well they might have asked first. I’ve just put three cabin boys on deck scrubbing duties because they couldn’t explain where it had gone (on their watch).

Sigh. I’ll tell them the gerbils confessed. Won’t mention you, Dean; don’t worry.

You must distance it from the wall and not cover up the vents.

It needs space.

To breathe.

Crikey! I hope I still have legs somewhere …

I shall have to check out the Dave thread.
when DH started work in 1985 his company apparently had a hiring policy of 70% Daves. With the result that they referred to each other by surname.

my company, otoh, had an excess of Mikes.

The cul-de-sac we live in now has 4/15 of the men called Dave, so I do indeed have one for a neighbour.

Mine hides in the utility cupboard on top.of the washing machine.
There is a fortune to be made by anyone who can invent The Attractive Microwave.

Tinkle jingle jangle JUMP
Sizzle crackle fizzle PLOP

Wombat taking no risks there. I think the yardarm is safe, some of the gerbils who are already damp can return it, and the rest of us, when we've stopped our rapturous applause, can head back into the bar for refreshments.

I'm planning to dine on many crisp brown sausages.

Same applies to fridges and freezers.

.

My microwave is also my small lower oven and grill. Which does, I suppose, disguise it but it’s inconvenient at times when I’d like to use it simultaneously for one of its other purposes.

we used to have one in the utility room but its place has been taken by the breadmaker.