Secondary School complaint about mixed sex changing rooms. Update, school response and request for help writing the escalated complaint to governors

[TangenitalContrivance]

Hello everyone. Some may remember I asked for help with a complaint to my daughter’s secondary school in Brighton which allows Males into female changing spaces. Including swimming, without informing either children or parents.

this is clearly a safeguarding issue, borderline illegal and must not be allowed to stand.

I’m going to have to take the whole thing through a governors complaint and even higher, which I am willing to do.

please, if you can, could you read my complaint and the schools subsequent response and give me pointers for what to say in my follow up.

feel free to use the original complaint at your own school. You will be surprised how many are doing this!

It's really sad reading the replies. So much misinformation.

I couldn’t read all the replies. So much utter drivel and misinformation.

From the replies on that thread it looks like The Good Law Project grift has been given new life. The fox killer must be delighted. Given their abject failure to win anything I feel quite sorry for all those putting their trust in their legal advice.

The OP has been advised to get in touch with GLP 😂😂😂

They will be throwing good money away if they are daft enough to engage the fox murderer.

I'm glad the council is getting it right. I see that the parent on Reddit is mixing up the KCSE 2024, with the much more prescriptive SC ruling. I'm I glad proper safeguarding has been restored. At the same time, I feel really sorry for all these "trans" kids that have been lied to by TRA, various associations, parents and teachers.

The responses really are stunning

before derailing my own thread - but still.

this is the echo chamber that landed them in all this trouble in the first place.

there is one person giving honest advice and they get voted down

Blimey. The misinformation and misdirection on that thread is sad to read. The parent is being given false hope.

I had to stop reading it after seeing the advice to do an FOI to find out how many cleaners of each sex the school has, presumably on the premise that if it's OK to let them into the toilets this is a winning way to approach the issue.... Obviously the poster said "gender", not sex, but that doesn't change the intended message.

The (presumably) unintended message is that:

a) it's clear that the child being in the girls' toilets creates a mixed-sex environment (otherwise why ask about mixed "gender" in an FOI?)
b) the poster thinks it's irrelevant that cleaners work in the toilets after the children have gone home
c) the poster has forgotten to mention that there are always signs put up if someone of the opposite sex is cleaning toilets while people are using them. Presumably that's not the proposed solution here?!

(This is a great derail while we're all waiting to hear back from the OP's child's school. I'm very invested in this and glad for the distraction while they consider their response 😁)

Yes, I saw that. I tried to add a comment myself (my DH uses Reddit for his train hobby so I sometimes "borrow" his ID) but when I tried to go on there it seems as though the OP has now been deleted (although I did see it at first) and new posts are locked (or maybe it's just me?).

But I agree with you, I was really shocked as to the amount of incorrect information that was being given on that thread.

It sort of makes sense now why these people sometimes emerge, blinking in the sunlight, and make such ridiculous claims. There really does seem to be a real echo chamber on places like Reddit.

I wonder if your post sent so many people to that thread that they felt that they had to lock it down from us terrorising terfs?

[EDIT]

Maybe they had already clocked me as a terf from previous comments I've made using DH's account on Reddit and they had already blocked me? Who knows? I've never posted on that sub before.

This is from the Reddit OP:

”I know 😓 I feel absolutely sick to my stomach over it. my daughter thinks she’s using a “VIP” toilet (that’s how the teacher worded it to her ) as if it’s a privilege for her. But it pains me inside knowing the truth.”

I feel awful that a child has ever been put into this position by generally well meaning but utterly, utterly misguided adults. It’s a tragedy this has to happen to an innocent boy, just awful.

In 2023 the DfE added this:
g) on each floor, at least one of the toilets allocated for mainstream pupil use (i.e., not including accessible toilets) shall be designed and located so that it can be identified as gender neutral for use by all pupils whilst ensuring pupil privacy.

The reports on what happens in them are shocking. The DfE told me it’s not statutory but I am concerned these will be the ‘third spaces’ people are talking about. They need so much more supervision. Private and mixed sex is a bad combo, especially if they are not planned properly and are an add-on to wherever there’s room for one.

(apologies if I’ve said this before - lots of loo threads atm).

At the same time, I feel really sorry for all these "trans" kids that have been lied to by TRA, various associations, parents and teachers.

Likewise. It's horrifying what has been done to these children. In so many cases, by people who should have been the ones protecting them from harm.

Yes. These children are amongst the most vulnerable in terms of poor mental health and they've been let down by so many trusted adults who should be safeguarding them. Instead they've been pushed in the direction of some of the most unstable and dubious adults in the world and we're now seeing the consequences.
As society insists that schools stop this unethical social experiment on children we need to ensure that these children are well supported, both professionally and in their families and communities.

Small update to this thread from the OP just in case people had not seen the current outcomes.

First thread:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womensrights/5269520-my-14-year-old-daughter-has-been-sharing-school-changing-rooms-including-swimming-with-a-male-the-school-never-told-me-or-her-what-would-you-do?page=1

third thread:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womensrights/5330837-secondary-school-mixed-sex-changing-rooms-complaint-update-from-school-again?page=1

Summary: Stage 2 complaint exceptionally paused by school governing board as too big and complicated and they cannot be expected to deal with complex legal issues as lay people (governors) complaint is ongoing. FOI requests, ongoing.

Please pop any updates or advice on the third thread!

When I get another update, I will start a fourth thread to keep it all together.

(additional - appeal for any parents or teachers in Brighton who can stand up and make an enquiry to secondary schools about mixed sex changing rooms - we really need you to send an email to your local head - can you help? https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5347768-parents-of-secondary-school-children-in-brighton-who-dont-believe-teenage-girls-should-have-to-get-changed-with-males-can-you-help )

OP has created a new thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5404868-single-sex-changing-spaces-in-a-brighton-secondary-school-new-school-year-new-thread