Safeguarding trans issues

[Hamiltonfan]

My friend is the most amazing mum. Her son has started to identify as female which she doesn't accept . He is neurodiverse with multiple issues going on and she believes this is a phase he is going through to try and fit in. She found out today that she has been flagged as a safeguarding risk and social services are being involved. To say she is devastated is an understatement. Please be kind. Can anyone offer any words of support or legislation around this? Thank you.

Advise her to get in touch with Bayswater Support Really helpful

That's awful OP - and not unheard of unfortunately. Silencing parents and promoting the alienation of these vulnerable children from their families is unfortunately a standard technique of those promoting sex change to children and young people. Every single bit of research we have about children alienated from their families for whatever reason shows that they do appallingly when in care on every life measure. It's a dreadful thing these activists are doing to children.
I'd point her in the direction of safeguarding focused organisations to help her get her arguments in order. There are lots of them now - three in particular are:

Transgender Trend
https://www.transgendertrend.com/teenager-says-theyre-transgender/

Bayswater : https://www.bayswatersupport.org.uk/

Safe Schools Alliance;
safeschoolsallianceuk.net/

I'd advise her to choose the path least likely to upset and alienate the child that she is an amazing mum to, and who is earnestly trying to communicate with her.

Having been in that position as a trans child desperately trying to muster up the courage to talk to my mum, I can pretty confidently say that any illusions as to the idea of transition being about 'fitting in' will very, very swiftly dissolve in contact with the stark reality of what it is actually like to be subject to transphobia on a daily basis in society while experiencing persistent gender dysphoria.

Kids are astonishingly unkind to anyone who gives them the slightest excuse.

I would not direct her toward an organisation that is well known to have members who talk wistfully about abuse being something that children will thank their parents for one day.

Our daughter’s school reported us to social services when we didn’t support her social transition (on the advice of her child psychologist) so if she’d like to chat to someone who has been through the referral process and investigation, drop me a DM.

I would also ditto the recommendation to contact Bayswater- they were a lifesaver.

No such thing as a trans child …just confused, depressed maybe autistic , maybe gay or lesbian children who are being told lies by the activists.

Strange. When I was a persistently gender dysphoric but not depressed, not autistic, bisexual child who had never spoken to a trans activist in my life but was extremely sure about what I needed, I'm very sure I was transsexual. I mean, I expressed clear and persistent identification with the female sex throughout childhood alongside intense gender dysphoria which was partially alleviated the moment I received GnRH agonist treatment, mostly alleviated after a couple of years of CSH treatment and almost completely alleviated after surgery.

Gosh Butters, it’s almost as if you aren’t every trans person, and your experience isn’t theirs.

What’s next for total alleviation, btw?

Butters your ye olde childhood experience is nothing like that of 17 year olds in 2024.

Perhaps you’ll finally believe us that ROGD is real when the former ROGD kids are detransitioners suing the doctors who castrated them.

Butterfly. Chikdren who claim a trans identity often, probably almost always desist.

Anyone who’s had kids will be very familiar with them trying on other ways of being - whether that’s being a penguin or a train when they’re little, to espousing a style of music, dress, or way of speaking as they get older. It’s often linked with trying to fit in.

In many schools today, claiming a trans identity is very much admired. This makes it an attractive choice for kids who have struggled socially, especially if they are a bit gender non-conforming.

The damage done by trans ‘healthcare’ is undeniable. Even those who are happy with the changes they have made to their body still experience pain, and will still be subject to early aging and a variety of chronic conditions, infertility and lack of sexual function, depending on exactly what they have had done.

It’s not surprising that parents are mainly horrified that their children would choose this path. This is not because they don’t love and accept their children exactly as they are. Rather, having fully developed, adult brains, they can see the suffering their children will likely experience in the future.

The fact that you’re still happy to encourage kids you know nothing about to follow this path says more about you than anyone else. And I note that you have previously said you were able to have hormonal treatment as a child….

Hope your friend has found some useful information from this thread and is disregarding the information from someone who is not a parent and has no experience or qualifications in advising parents on the challenging matter of establishing boundaries and keeping their children safe.
I'm currently managing a 16 month old who is determined that the dog treats on the kitchen table are what he wants for breakfast rather than his porridge. Guess what - I upset him by saying no and he got over it. As all parents know.
Parenting 101.

Hi OP, it’s a long shot but if your friend has a sympathetic MP then that could be a route to explore as well.

A search on X (Twitter) of their account might give clues as to whether they understand the safeguarding issues that trans ideology causes for children (and women ofc).

I’d also echo the advice of getting in touch with Bayswater and also recommend taking up the kind offer from @rogdmum

Thank you everyone for your kind words. ROGD mum I will message you if I can figure out how to! My wonderful friend is trapped in a complete nightmare xx

It's important she knows that she's not alone. This is happening to too many parents and it flies in the face of everything we know about supporting children and families - not breaking them up.

Sex Matters also have some help for parents:

sex-matters.org/support-for-parents/

After CASS she’d do well to flag to SS that ‘social transitioning’ is no longer recommended and is not a neutral act and ask them on what basis she’s a safeguarding risk.

Kids are astonishingly unkind to anyone who gives them the slightest excuse.

Interesting, this is exactly the opposite of the usual "the kids are down with this and very supportive" that we have been getting on here.

Also she could read the resources on the websites for Transgender Trend, and Genspect. She could also cite the findings of the Cass Report. The Cass report is probably the most comprehensive enquiry into the safety of treatments for sex questioning children there is internationally.

Genspect runs a parents’ group I think.

It’s pretty outrageous that your friend is doing what experts - including Professor Cass - recommend: it’s called watchful waiting.

The social workers are peddling a deeply harmful ideology which turns healthy children into lifetime medical cases and leaves them open to a shortened lifespan and experimental treatments.

This bloke was fascinating https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OaPhXH9XpJg

Alex Capo.

I think the most important thing is her continuing to communicate with her son. Listening to what's troubling him is really important. She can be reassuring about transition being an option that's available when you're an adult along with being measured about not feeling it's the right thing to do now and explaining her reasons.

Also looking into anything he wants to change that is easily supported without needing to transition at all e.g. loads of boys have long hair, wear colourful clothes or makeup, or maybe there are hobbies or activities he enjoys that someone's making him feel are 'for girls' but aren't actually.

If social services even want to talk to her on the word of what is clearly an activist teacher, there are now plenty of reputable sources she can point them to to show that the watchful waiting approach she's advocating for is not abusive. I'd print out the pages of Cass where they go into possible sources and outcomes of feelings of gender discomfort, and where Cass talks about social transition being itself a serious psychological intervention.

Thank you. She has been communicating as well as anyone can with him for ages on this matter. He has long hair, she lets him wear girls clothes, but cannot bring herself to call him she/her. That's what has been picked up on and has triggered the referral. It was actually the MH team possibly in conjunction with school although that is not confirmed. He wants puberty blockers and hormonal treatment. He is now 16. But he is autistic and has other ND traits. Such a sad situation. He would be lost without her. She is his only advocate in life x

Hamiltonfan · Today 08:50

ROGD mum I will message you if I can figure out how to!

On a post, to the right of the username and date / time, there are 3 horizontal dots

Click on them and a menu appears.

There's a blue envelope icon, with PM next to it, click on that and you can send a message.

And yet you're still the same sex you were born as.

Pronouns. Bloody hell.

My heart really goes out to her.

He can't have puberty blockers, and hormonal treatment wont' be possible for another two years, so there is a bit of time.

Thank you. I figured it eventually! Didn't realise you can't do from the app x

Can you not? I'm not on the app...

Bull.

My autistic child went through this, she was influenced by peers and trans teachers
It confused her so much she cut her leg to ribbons as an outlet.

I said enough and put my foot down.

Banned her 'chosen name' and male pronouns.
Told school I would take legal action of they continued to use them.

4 months it took for her to forget it completely and now a year later she's back to her normal self and is quite gender critical.