Love this ⬆️
I have my own minor personal challenge that I will share: I've had 2 experiences of ghosts. One of which I was on my own so I rationalised it as a trick of the light. It was my first ever experience (aged 20) so I'll never really know what my memory of the event was, given I'm over double that age now.
The second was a couple of years later and the person I was with heard it too... : an unmistakable laugh, followed by "oh dear"... it was a repeat of a terrible joke about a deer, from about 5 mins earlier, that had swum out to sea. It was a female voice and I was the only female in the group of people there. According to the other person who heard it, it must have been me who said it. I cringed when he made the joke, so I certainly wouldn't have repeated it.
So I do believe in "souls" that are separate from the body. But I don't believe in heaven or hell (or god) and I don't believe that the soul is a "gendered essence" - to use your analogy I would say it's the software (the personality) that fits with the hardware (its own body).
I fully accept the cognitive dissonance I've brought upon myself in saying what I do and don't believe. After the second experience I briefly went back to Christianity because I was afraid of good and evil - I needed a foundation. Then I slipped back in to agnosticism and eventually atheism. I've accepted that not everyone will believe my experience (including the person who experienced it too) and it helps me to keep belief in perspective: some people believe in ghosts, god, gender identity etc.... and some don't.
I don't want laws, education or healthcare positioning any of it as true. I don't need to challenge anyone's belief to advocate for this. They can believe whatever they like (as can I re ghosts), they just can't force the rest of us to accept it as if it were fact. Thankfully Christians and ghost-belivers don't.