https://www.oliverdrakefordtherapy.com/post/parentification-vs-adultification
I'm doing a lot of cross threading and referencing today but this link was posted on another thread and it seems appropriate to put it on this thread given how the conversation has gone.
The part I highlighted on that thread was the following:
What Are The Symptoms Of Adultification In Adults Who Were Adultified?
Some research has tracked the symptoms in adults,
Increased Mental Health Challenges: Adults who experienced adultification as children often face heightened mental health issues, including stress, anxiety, and depression. This is due to the early and excessive responsibilities they had to shoulder, often in emotionally and financially taxing environments.
Difficulty in Transitioning to Adult Roles: Those subject to adultification may struggle with the transition to traditional adult roles and responsibilities. Having taken on adult-like roles prematurely, they often find themselves unprepared for the complexities and demands of adult life, leading to potential difficulties in employment and personal relationships.
Challenges in Identity Formation: Adultification can disrupt the natural process of identity formation. Adults who were adultified as children might have a skewed perception of their roles and capabilities, which can lead to confusion and conflict in their personal and professional lives.
Increased Risk for Engaging in Risky Behaviors: In some cases, adultified individuals may engage in risky behaviors as a coping mechanism or due to a lack of appropriate guidance during critical developmental stages. This includes substance abuse or involvement in illegal activities.
Strained Family and Social Relationships: Adultification can lead to strained relationships in adulthood. These individuals might find it challenging to establish and maintain healthy relationships, as their early life experiences could have affected their ability to trust, communicate, and relate to others effectively.
And yet here we are trying to push stuff that kids don't really understand - precisely because they haven't got to that level of maturity - on all the kids.
If you have a particularly emotionally immature child, it's particularly difficult (say for example they are autistic).
It has no business being in primary age schools because of the potential issues including the ramifications for peers.
And it really shouldn't be in high schools below at least yr10 precisely because the kids mature at different rates.
And affirmation only isn't healthy in any respect.
If you want to explore your identity, post 16 is when you do it. At the earliest. Otherwise it's not being kind. It's setting up a bunch of kids for bigger problems.