Not sure if I have said something wrong or not

[Motnight]

It was a team away day in person last week. We all had to stand up and introduce ourselves. I was about the 10th person to. The person before me stated their preferred pronouns.

I deliberately didn't state my pronouns. My director then interjected and said "you've forgotten your pronouns". I replied that whilst I totally respected other people's preferences regarding pronouns I felt no need to state mine. I then passed the microphone onto the next person. She stated her pronouns, but about half of the rest of the delegates didn't.

I came into work yesterday and my director (a man) came up to me said hi and then said that I was obviously a strong character who didn't mind making her thoughts known. I just smiled and nodded and he wandered off. A fellow female colleague and I today have been chatting about the away day and she mentioned that she was really uncomfortable with the overt trans phobia during the day. I didn't respond to that (I didn't witness any trans phobia at all) but am wondering if the comment was aimed at me, or if I am being too sensitive.

I have obviously got people's attention by what I said. I don't regret it, but I do wonder if I am going to be given some sort of label.

You were of course absolutely right to say (or not say) what you did. Well done.

And yes sadly I’m sure the ‘transphobia’ comments are about anyone who didn’t state their pronouns 🤢

Pathetic and wrong. Hopefully it’ll pass (but only if nobody speaks about it again) 🙄

i'd hope that people wouldn't call someone not stating their own pronouns transphobic. but obviously there are stupid people everywhere.

I'm so glad I don't work for one of these organisations. That woman does sound like she's having a dig at you. All I can say is well done and that gender critical beliefs are protected in law. Your director was completely out of order telling you you had to state your pronouns. You empowered other people to refrain from stating their pronouns too. I hope you don't get labelled but keep a note of times and dates (including the away day and your co-workers comment) should you need to refer to your notes at any point. It might also be worth joining the Free Speech Union.

Ugh.
I was meant to be part of a group for some reaearch. For the first meeting we were asked to introduce ourselves using any of the protected charactistics that we felt applied to us. One person mentioned being NB and using they/them for "gender ID". Every single other person referred to themselves as "cis". And then said their preferred pronouns, which were what you'd expect for their sex.
I didn't mention gender as

1. I don't believe in it.
2. AFAIK gender ID isn't a PC anyway. Sex is.

I did, however, mention the PCs that are, IMO, relevant to my life.

Someone else mentioned that i hadn't told them my gender/pronouns. I later received an email saying I wasn't a good fit for the group!

You said nothing wrong and of course it's not transphobic to refuse to say your pronouns. But as Lovelyview suggests, keep notes of the comments that have been made to you just in case.
Hopefully you'll be an effective professional member of staff and that's what will be noticed (along with being quietly thanked by so many others seeking to avoid these levels of compelled speech). But as we see regularly, enforcing all this nonsense attracts the bullies in the workplace so be careful.

What you said sounds fine.
You said it openly and honestly to the whole group.
If the trans phobia comment was directed at you it was a snide dig.
I would always choose to be in the company of a person who is open and honest over someone who was snide and backstabby.
Be proud of your honesty :)

Remember, you werent the only one.Their passive aggressive tactics are repellent.
You could always say politely but pointedly, "is that directed specifically at me?" or "I didnt see any transphobia, but remember lots of people dont believe in this belief system as is their human right'

stressing its a belief system and your right not to partcipate.

Id also be talking to the others who didnt comply, because they will try and isolate you as if you are the only one.

Remember Forstater and read Jo Phoenixs summary she has just put out
"Don’t Get Caught Out
A Summary of Gender Critical Belief
Discrimination Employment
Tribunal Judgments"
Please share this widely.
https://centaur.reading.ac.uk/118472/2/Dont%20Get%20Caught%20Out%20final.pdf

You need to sign in to access that document. Is there any way to access it for non-Reading people?

No, you dont.

I havent had to so why should anyone else.
If youre really having issues write to Jo Phoenix her email is widely available.

I’m not able to access it via that link.

Are you able to provide another way to read it, @RaspberryParade ?

(I am signed on on my device with my work account, but I doubt my employer has blocked it. I think I need a U of Reading account)

Sorry, crossposted while I was editing my screenshots.

I dont understand why you cant access it. As I said to the previous person email Jo Phoenix her contact is easily found- plus there is a thread here about it.

Please just put the link in your address bar - its not that complicated

@RaspberryParade I clicked on the link and got this sign-in screen.

@Limth
Copy and paste it into your address bar...

Please read the thread - copy and paste into your address bar
if its not working!
OR contact Jo Phoenix.
Its not that hard

That’s the first screen I got, but mine also offered me my work account. When I clicked on that it took me to the screenshot I posted.

When clicking on the link didn't work, I copied and pasted the link because, as you very kindly pointed out, it's not that hard.

Both times, I got this.

Same

Same

I can't access that document either. I signed in with my Microsoft account (which is what it asked for) and then wouldn't let me see it.

I get this message

I'd support you completely. I attended a "workday" at college and was asked my pronouns.
My comment "I think it's obvious" was apparently not acceptable. I was wearing a skirt and being swooned over by men (and boys)* but I still had to stand up and tell them that I didn't have a p!
*Sorry if I sound "up myself" as they say, but they were doing this.

bit rude

You were the one who said "please share this widely" and then when people try to actually access it in order to do so, they get condescending remarks. I'm sure anyone who has managed to access mumsnet understands how to copy and paste a web address into their browser bar and would have tried that. Besides which it wouldn't have made any difference whether you direct clicked or c&p - the link wasn't broken, access is clearly restricted.

I got the same message as @HaddyAbrams

Well I've clearly pissed off my colleague today taking similar stance. We are doing our welcome week for students. We have a lot of trans and nb students again this year. We don't have a system that stores pronouns online so senior staff tend to just have to find out and circulate to teaching teams.

This can be tricky but I sent a nice and appreciated email to all students this week dealing with it and giving reassurance.

My teammate commented that it needs to be available online. And I said well that's ok, as long as it's an optional field because not everyone wants to do this and I wouldn't either. He was really huffy. Clearly I have wrongthink.

Based on this, I would suggest nobody tries to access this link.
The server that is receiving the request (from your account) will have a record of the requests (of your account).
Perhaps it's perfectly legitimate. Equally, perhaps not.

The link works ok for me, for some reason.