Smear appointment reminder with a Mx

[catin8oots]

Have a routine smear booked at my local surgery and just received a reminder text saying it will be with Mx Firstname Surname.

I have no idea if this person is a biological woman or a biological man.

Can I call and ask?

I am pretty certain, OP, that Keri will turn out to be a biological woman. But you have raised important issues about womens' right to choose same-sex care.

https://sex-matters.org/posts/updates/damning-judgment-wake-up-call-for-womens-sector/

Mridul Wadhwa, the CEO of ERCC, is legally male [to MN admin - doesn't have a GRC].

The turnover of the board in the last few years, since MW's appointment, is a thing to behold. Majority of board are v young and inexperienced and, going on what was said at the tribunal, completely captured.

MW is still in post.

All the best OP and thankyou for bringing up an important matter. With a trauma background myself; this is difficult territory for me so anyone not being transparent with who they are would have had me cancelling the appointment. I doubt I would have called the surgery for fear of repercussions. As another poster highlighted, trauma can dysregulate your nervous system and cause you to react, sometimes unexpectedly and in ways that is difficult for us to control. Given the power dynamics between HCP and patient, it feels far safer to just not bother with such examinations.

It's pronounced 'wank'.

Perfect! 😂

Edinburgh Rape Crisis was notorious even before the tribunal, after it appointed a male a transwoman who did not disclose his sex to them as manager. Despite the fact that the job had been advertised as for women only.
This person, when in post, went on to state that women who did not wish to see a male person when they attended the centre should 'reframe their trauma' and insinuated such women were bigoted.
As noted, the person is still in post.

Yes!!😳 Well thanks for the link/not thanks because now I feel disturbed. Unbelievable!

A couple of choice quotes:

"Our centre currently has women’s only times and spaces and we recognise that trans women – and trans women on the basis of self-declaration – are women, and are therefore included in those spaces. The safety of our spaces is dependent on our routine risk assessment, practice and policy, and not on the identities of the people who are in them.”

Sexual violence happens to bigoted people as well. And so, you know, it is not a discerning crime. But these spaces are also for you. But if you bring unacceptable beliefs that are discriminatory in nature, we will begin to work with you on your journey of recovery from trauma. But please also expect to be challenged on your prejudices.”

The rape victims are bigoted?!!! For bring fearful of biological males? AFTER BEING SEXUALLY ASSAULTED by them. Ok. Right...WTF???!!!

I mean my eyes cannot believe the words come together to say what they say. You're saying this person who clearly doesn't respect our female physical autonomy is STILL in post now in such a position of decision making, oversight and power over vulnerable women's sexual wellbeing?

As a survivor I would NEVER step foot in such a place, even if they now offered me a biological female doctor. I couldn't trust it. No way. Hell no!!

*doctor, counsellor, nurse, health worker, nothing. Nada.

Yes!!😳 Well thanks for the link/not thanks because now I feel disturbed. Unbelievable!

I only know one Mx, one of the teachers at dd's secondary school. Dd says the teacher is open about being non binary so uses Mx (from appearance alone they look clearly female to me, but masculine presenting if that's the right terminology?)

So they could use Mx as they're non binary op?

I'd have exactly the same reaction and would want to know if the nurse was a biological female

They also refused to give any women details of Beira's Place which is the single sex rape crisis centre set up by JKR

Rape care and advice is very different. But all over the world, until very recently, there were far too few female gyneacologists and obstetricians, GPs and other specialists, to guarantee female only care. When I had my children, that choice was not even there at all, and at 3 different hospitals. Same for GPs. Give me well qualified, experienced and human specialists for any medical care- their sex is of no matter to me.

As said, rape care and in some very special and very specific cases, female only may well really matter, in most cases, the level of qualification and experience should be what is important. I know two amazing male 'midwives' too.

Interested to see the outcome of this. Mx is an affectation mostly used by non binary people in my experience.

in some very special and very specific cases, female only may well really matter,

They matter in this context. A recent report by the health service in Ireland listed lack of available female doctors and nurses as a barrier to take up of screening invitations, and I'm sure it's the same elsewhere. The fact that this can't always be met doesn't make it any less important to women who will not attend if they believe a man may be attending.

As said, rape care and in some very special and very specific cases, female only may well really matter

At least a fifth of women have experience of sexual assault or abuse at the hands of men- it’s not a tiny, rare minority. A lot of women are only comfortable with female-only care for intimate examinations, not just ‘very special and specific cases’. A lot of women simply wouldn’t attend their smear test if they weren’t guaranteed a female doctor or nurse.

I asked for a female at my coil fitting
Not because I was bothered usually but the male who fitted it before was so shaky (I could see his hands shaking as he was typing) and it was really painful

My thought process was I can't say I don't want him but if I ask for a female I won't get him!

It's not only a few 'special' or 'specific' cases, as others have said; too many women have experienced some kind of sexual trauma.
It's also important to some women for religious beliefs.

As an aside, there's no need to put the word midwife in quotes when referring to male ones. The word means 'with the woman' ie the pregnant woman; the word 'wife' within it refers to her, not the person attending her, so it can equally refer to women or men.

many years ago I had an internal when I was pregnant with first son 1987
( they’ve stopped doing them now thank goodness ..’as they were causing problems) I was on my own with a male nurse … it was very very uncomfortable…they way he looked at me straight in the eyes … etc was awful and I should have asked for an escort but it wasnt like that in the day. A smear is a very “intimate “ examination. You have to make sure you are not put in a postion that makes you feel uncomfortable.

I wonder, how would a practice take it if you gave polite, measured feedback about the shaky hands? I'd think it was something a practice manager would like to be aware of, although on the other hand if he's an excellent clinician then it'd be tricky knowing how to manage it.

Use Ms. That's what it's for. Indicates you're female but doesn't reveal your marrital status – the exact equivalent of "Mr". That's why feminists invented it.

Then they need to get their act together, don't they? As does the NHS as a whole. They want women to come in for intimate checks of their genitals and breasts. But they don't want to be clear that only women need those checks, and they don't want to help those women who only want the procedure done by a woman.

You can't have it both ways. Stupid language like "people with a cervix" panders to a tiny number of trans-identifying women who cannot possibly not know that they are female since they are taking so much trouble to identify out of it, at the expense of the huge number of women who don't actually know what a cervix is and so will miss out on scans and may actually end up dying of cancer.

And allowing nonsense like "Mx" for titles, and the BMJ letting doctors self-identify their sex, means that when someone requests same-sex care, it can't be guaranteed. So a significant number of women won't actually go for the scan.

It's all very well saying "just walk out" – easy to say, almost impossible to do. Why should any woman be put in that situation? Why should any woman even have to waste time phoning a surgery to find out whether someone is male or female? Why should we be indulging people who claim that there isn't any difference? WHY THE HELL is the NHS embracing an ideology that results in gaslighting, rapes and actual deaths?

I hate all the self absorption from people working in services that deal with vulnerable people. The service should focus on the people receiving the service not the workers. Ambiguity about sex just causes issues.

I have a friend who has been through the male to female surgery. I suspect that because of all the messing about they've had around their genitals they'd be very gentle and emphatic and leering or assault would be the last thing on their mind (luckily they work for the computer science department at a university so highly unlikely they'll be doing smears!)

Your friend has not been through male to female surgery because there is no surgery that can change your sex. They have had some level of cosmetic surgery that from the sounds of it involved removing their penis.

(luckily they work for the computer science department at a university so highly unlikely they'll be doing smears!)

So many work in male dominated industries having met several in these kinds of roles I’d put money on them leering at/or and making female colleagues uncomfortable. Hopefully your friend is the exception but I’ve never met one that didn’t either leer or treat female colleagues aggressively.

@DisillusionedTech do you mean that people who've had surgery for gender incongruence leer and make people feel uncomfortable?

How many have you met?

I don’t know how many of the men identifying as women that I’ve met have had surgery as opposed to simply wearing a wig and a dress, I’m unsure how you’d expect me to know that. I do know all of them have either leered or behaved aggressively towards women.

I haven’t kept count but I’ve met many particularly in the last 20 years. And up until about 10 years ago I just tried to convince myself I’d been unlucky.

I’ve been in situations where there have been more men identifying as women than women.

I’m not alone, women working in tech talk to each other (cautiously because techbros are very twaw) so we know it’s not an isolated issue. One friend worked somewhere (I’m not naming the company as too easy to identify who talked) where one of the men identifying as a woman used to wear his dead wife’s clothes including suspenders and stockings with mini skirts The dead wife’s clothes were not very suitable office attire.