Smear appointment reminder with a Mx

[catin8oots]

Have a routine smear booked at my local surgery and just received a reminder text saying it will be with Mx Firstname Surname.

I have no idea if this person is a biological woman or a biological man.

Can I call and ask?

No she isn’t! OP , along with all women, has the right to know the biological sex of any HCP who is about to examine them and actually, the receptionist answered her question quite ambiguously. I’m not surprised that the OP isn’t reassured, particularly since the NHS have form for gaslighting patients whenever this issue arises. And frankly, Keri needs to be told that her non binary status - if that’s what it is - has no place in her professional life as it has the effect of causing uncertainty. She should call herself Mrs, Miss or Ms, and confine the trans nonsense for her private life!

I havent had a smear test for ten years. I find them so bloody painful. It feels like razor blades. I got another reminder letter today. Along with a booklet "NHS cervical screening. Helping you decide"

In it it says the test should take 1 to 2 mins. Makes me even less likely to go for it if they want to rush something thats already very painful

With the latter I asked for a female and explained why, they assured me it would be a female but when I got there it was a male. I was in tears and just endured the very invasive tests which are especially horrible if you have a past like mine. I did complain and they did apologise

This is something that I think is missed when people say "If it turns out to be a man just walk out". It's very difficult to do that when you're actually there, facing someone. A lot of women end up going along with treatment of all kinds that they're not happy with.

I'm sorry that happened to you.

I’m just curious, and not wishing to offend you, but my understanding is that you had doubts about the gender of the clinician because you were given the title Mx before the name.
if you had been told the person was called Ms/Mrs/Miss Keri, or Nurse Keri, would you have had the same concerns? A biological male transgender person could choose to use any of these terms.
Of course it matters to many women (and men) who is treating them for many reasons so practices and hospitals should be much more open about this.
An interesting post. Thank you for raising the subject.

To correct poster above (sorry can't find post) who said we can't refer to someone's sex, the secrecy clause in the GRA is limited to those who find out in an official capacity.
https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2004/7/contents
And there's exceptions to that too eg crime www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2021/1020/pdfs/uksiem_20211020_en.pdf

It doesn't make the rest of us deny reality and pretend Joe Bloggs who we know is a man, is suddenly a woman just because he says so, is wearing a dress or gets a certificate. You can't force other people to lie or get collective amnesia (trans lobby groups like to pretend it's males who say they are women who suffer harassment, but anyone who has followed this know the death/ rape threats and insults mainly go one way- from trans activist groups towards women). Maya Forstater wrote about the secrecy clause here:

thecritic.co.uk/secrets-and-lies/

This is interesting and I'm reflecting.

If it had been Mrs/Ms Keri Surname I wouldn't have batted an eyelid.

If it was Mr Keri Surname I would have thought - oh that's not the usual, a male nurse doing a smear but I'm okay with that (I may have given the first name some thought but I also have a unisex name so not really that much)

It's the fact that they are using Mx that it just made me think. Why conceal your sex? Deliberately? For a procedure that is traumatic for many women? Why would you want to confuse them like that? What do you have to gain by concealing your sex. And yes, to me and the majority of women - sex does matter!

At an interview they are not allowed to ask.
I have been asked and simply said I think it’s irrelevant
The interviewer knew they had no right to ask and moved on.

I think if you appreciate why married women are so often discriminated against whilst trying to get a job you would appreciate why women do not want companies to know this.
Its interesting that they rarely ask if you have a partner, for some reason marriage still defines you are about to have or already have kids!?

I had one that tried to work it out rather deceitfully by asking me had I moved for the outstanding schools…….cheeky!

Well I’m glad I didn’t insist the consultant who performed the emergency episiotomy and ventouse delivery during labour was a natural born woman. Time being of the essence somewhat. Thanks to his skills both me and my baby survived 🙃

What does any of that have to do with this?

How is this relevant to the issue OP has asked about?

I think a healthcare professional going by Mx is absolutely awful and shouldn’t be allowed!

I have no issues with a man performing my smear but I would still like to know beforehand and I know that there are many, many women who would be uncomfortable with this.

Not recently, surely?

Please someone tell me that nobody thinks it’s still ok to ask women if they are married in an interview?!!

It's really not, that poster must have been referring to years ago as it's definitely not acceptable to ask that nowadays!

Because it’s about the skills and experience the medical professional has for carrying out any given procedure, nothing else.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the OP gets banned from their surgery. I’m following with interest.

Likewise I had a male doctor for my vaginal birth and sewing up after although no one asked if that was OK ( I was out of it by the time I got to the hospital so in no fit state to say anything )

Would I have asked for a women if it wasn’t so rushed and desperate, yes definitely !

No, it’s not. Some women are not permitted or don’t wish to have this intimate procedure done by a male person and that’s a choice they’re allowed to make.

If you weren’t bothered if it was male or female, why phone and ask?

There are lots of women around to perform intimate care. It’s part of the nhs ‘constitution’ that we have the right to chose who carries that out.

I had male healthcare workers involved in my traumatic birth and tbh I DID care, it did make me feel a lot more uncomfortable and vulnerable and exposed. I had no choice and obviously the priority was my baby and safety in that position… but it still made the experience worse for me 🤷‍♀️

Can anyone explain what is specifically wrong with a woman only feeling comfortable with a female for an intimate procedure? Who does it hurt exactly??

I wouldn’t be surprised if the OP gets banned from their surgery.

For what? She called up to confirm her smear test was being done by a female - loads of people ask for that all the time.

Well I’m glad I didn’t insist the consultant who performed the emergency episiotomy and ventouse delivery during labour was a natural born woman. Time being of the essence somewhat. Thanks to his skills both me and my baby survived 🙃

This would only be relevant to this situation if you had been alone with this male doctor.

I forgot to post this link, useful for anyone who needs single sex intimate care.
https://www.caringaboutdignity.org/useful-information/

That poster is me.

Ive been in my own private practice a few years now but I had interviews about 5 years ago to continue in general practice for others
It happened at, I would say, let me think, every interview.!! At one they didn’t ask until the second interview.
I even took to removing my wedding ring and keeping my hands down.

and Yes I know they are not allowed to and so do they but they still ask

Yes! Women in architecture is crap!

Maybe it’s just the text system and they haven’t selected ms/ miss/ Mrs for her yet, she could be new.

I agree if you would have been fine with the nurse being Mr then why did you need to ring the surgery? You didn’t mind if the nurse was a man or woman.

I mean, why didn’t you take it up with them? Things won’t change if you just let this happen.