Line managing someone who talks about "pregnant people" - how to gently tell her to use "woman"?

[LittlePrecious]

I am line managing someone on a project about pregnancy.

She keeps using the phrase "pregnant people" and it turns my stomach.

What I want to say is "Pull yourself together, get a fucking grip, and use the word woman". But I feel I need to be slightly more tactful than that. But I'm not sure what to actually say because its such a blindingly obvious thing to have to say.

I work in academia where things are fraught. I don't want this backfiring on me.

Please do you have any suggestions for how I can phrase "just fucking say woman, its not a dirty word" tactfully and without putting myself at risk? I may need to commit this phrase to writing as well so there may be a paper trail.

Thank you!

I was simply stating that not all mums or mothers give birth to their children - adoptive mums are mums, for example.

And not all women who give birth are a good mothers - such as DH's "birth mum" who gave birth to him but is a real piece of work - infliction of childhood abuse, neglect and so on - and so he is estranged from her.

His "real mum" is his step mother who has done more for him (including advocating for him when others hadn't yet understood what his birth mum was doing) than anyone could ever ask of any parent and he considers her to be his proper mum. My MIL is a truly wonderful woman. His birth mother is something else and is known by her first name and not mum as she doesn't deserve the title.

But all those who give birth are women.

No one changes sex. Men are not mothers and identifying as transgender doesn't magically change a man with a penis into a mother instead of a father and it's incredibly damaging when they try to force their kids and wives to participate in the charade.

Pregnant people are all female as they can't be anything else. Clothes do not change the wearers sex.

I understand that some mums are crap and some step mums are great.

But the OP is about language in a research project about pregnancy and birth.

Your comments made it sound as though you are advocating for 'pregnant people' to be used instead of 'pregnant women' in that context.

I was wondering what your logic is behind that, when many posters here have described reasons that it is both damaging for women as a whole, and upsetting to some individual women personally.

I think you've really really misunderstood me. I am GC, have posted other bits in this thread and "pregnant people" is a bullshit piece of fawning to the TRAs.

Not sure why you're picking on me when I'm pretty sure what I wrote was very clear the first time.

She's the project leader, so is entitled to have the language she wants used in documents to which her name is attached.

Thanks for posting this - very informative. I hadn't appreciated the difference 'pregnant people' could have on statistical analysis.

Yes I corrected that, it was my misinterpretation. If it's a funded academic paper then yes the project lead is responsible for the wording in that paper.

However, I think it's pretty easy one to fix really. Give the person in question guidelines in relation to her expectations. I wouldn't be harbouring negative feelings towards somebody, because they are not "right on" around this subject- as clearly it is very much still being debated judging by the amount of opinion on this thread.

Too many people (ahem) don't appreciate it. I've seen the same mistake being made with the phrase "x in 10 people/women" suffer from endometriosis. Switching in people for women means the percentages would need to be halved as well. So rhe numbers risk being wrong, and even where they are corrected, the consequence is that the condition looks nowhere bear as serious as it actually is.

FYI

The Ministerial and other Maternity Act 2021 (so very recent) uses the terms mother and/or expectant mother. This was a big deal at the time with the HoL pressurising the HoC to accept this wording over pregnant people.

Freddie McConnell a transman, tried to have themselves recorded as father on their baby’s birth certificate the Court of Appeal in 2020 upheld that McConnell was legally the child’s mother and should be recorded as such on the birth certificate.

Most legislation on the statute books, including the EA 2010, uses woman when talking about pregnancy and maternity.

Not picking on you, just genuinely interested.

Sorry if offence has been caused.

That's actually true though they can.

That's actually true though they can.

Yes, they can. Because they are women.

Omg engage your brain!

This are the language changes the next generations want, and I remember how I felt at oldsters not adopting the gender neutral language I wanted. no desire to repeat the resistant to change, stuck in the mud view of older people

when did we decide that society should go around abiding by what it is that teenagers think is acceptable?

And I see as usual ageism remains the completely acceptable prejudice amongst the be kind/it’s only language/ we’re all ppl brigade

This is the problem, I think, with "pregnant people." It divides women who can fall pregnant from those who can't.
All of new terms, "people with a cervix," "menstruators," "birthing people" - they separate us into little boxes of disconnected experiences, so that we never realise the political saliency of our being women. So that women who were born with MRKH feel cut off from the group, and those who've had hysterectomies, those who never give birth - we're never all put in the same category together as women.
And then you get those horrible beardy bros says, "Well if women who can't even get pregnant are allowed in your exclusive woman club how on earth can you deny entry to those men who want to join?" Because a woman who can't fall pregnant is basically just a man amirite!!??!!
Just to be clear, because I'm sure there will be women reading who have had that last sentence communicated to them in a thousand small ways, it's absolute bulshite.

And then you get those horrible beardy bros says, "Well if women who can't even get pregnant are allowed in your exclusive woman club how on earth can you deny entry to those men who want to join?" Because a woman who can't fall pregnant is basically just a man amirite!!??!!

oh yes I always feel deep joy when TRA weaponise my infertility in support of their nonsense. I’m infertile, I’m not a sodding man

So if men are impotent or have rubbish sperm, they aren’t men?

interesting…

Someone else wanting to be known as a woman doesn't take away from me being a woman. Who wouldn't want to be a woman we are great lol 😆. All these people terrified woman are being somehow diminished as woman, because of what someone else wants to be known as, need to get some self esteem. OP needs to tread carefully as the employee can probably put in a formal complaint against her if she makes a thing out of this. The employee only wants to keep the project politically correct and gender impartial. There are gender based equality laws, so if I were them I would tread very carefully.

No they were woman, now they don't want to be called that anymore.... why should they be forced to, to keep you happy? How doesn't them no longer wanting the name affect you?

This are the language changes the next generations want, and I remember how I felt at oldsters not adopting the gender neutral language I wanted. no desire to repeat the resistant to change, stuck in the mud view of older people

The difference is that the battle to get "Chairman" "police man" etc etc changed to include women, was just that - inclusive.

The move from 'pregnant woman [or girl]' to 'pregnant person' makes women invisible again. It excludes.

There are gender based equality laws, so if I were them I would tread very carefully.

Um, no @Mummy2024 the 2010 Equality Act is sex-based.

OK but now they to use the words pregnant female and not woman? I suppose it's a workable compromise tbf

Incredibly useful to know, thank you

Many moons ago I worked on a project on maternal and child health. I can't imagine any of those academics people-ing women, but I wonder how they have managed their masters students and younger research fellows. I must look them up.

A pregnant female could be a mongoose or a polar bear.

This is a research project, not a community outreach scheme. There is no need whatsoever to mangle language and, as some people keep forgetting, the funding is for a study about pregnant women.