Line managing someone who talks about "pregnant people" - how to gently tell her to use "woman"?

[LittlePrecious]

I am line managing someone on a project about pregnancy.

She keeps using the phrase "pregnant people" and it turns my stomach.

What I want to say is "Pull yourself together, get a fucking grip, and use the word woman". But I feel I need to be slightly more tactful than that. But I'm not sure what to actually say because its such a blindingly obvious thing to have to say.

I work in academia where things are fraught. I don't want this backfiring on me.

Please do you have any suggestions for how I can phrase "just fucking say woman, its not a dirty word" tactfully and without putting myself at risk? I may need to commit this phrase to writing as well so there may be a paper trail.

Thank you!

Depends what the project is about. Girls can also get pregnant. If women = adult human female, it may not be accurate in this particular instance.

Can you set some expectations for the project around appropriate language for the publication?

Who is the client for the work? Or is it for her own studies etc?

Ok, women and girls then.

OP I think you should say 'using the term pregnant people can be really alienating towards a lot of women. Unless there is a specific reason to use people, it's more appropriate to use women/women and girls.'

‘As we are discussing pregnancy we need to be absolutely clear that only women and girls are capable of being pregnant rather than people in general you absolute massive twat’

I agree with your sentiment totally. My concern is that she'll come back with "No, some people who identify as men or non-binary are capable of being pregnant too".

I know, I know....

That's perfect, thanks. Brilliant!

God, who could have predicted that we wouldn't have been able to risk saying "pregnant woman" in case we lost our jobs?

Yes, exactly, that's what I want to do. But I want to do it in a way where she doesn't come back immediately with accusations of TERF-ery.

There's not a 'client' as such. The work's funded by a research body.

I get you but "women and girls" would be the most appropriate in this situation.

And, we are actually looking at women in this case.

Uh huh.

When I was a postgraduate student, I used to do teaching support on a course about workplace law. In a lecture about parental leave, the lecturer used to start the lecture by saying "Can we call agree that only women get pregnant and give birth?" as a funny, ridiculously obvious starting point.

He'd be handed his arse now.

Weird.

What is the phrase specifically in the funding approval documentation or the application that you submitted?

Maybe tell her she needs to be inclusive and use ‘pregnant women, women who identify as non- binary, women who identify as trans men, and women who identify as assorted animals…..’

If she isn't actively challenging your language but making her own choice of what language she wants to use, then I don't see the issue. If she was derailing every meeting to discuss why you should all use pregnant people, or insisting it's the term used in Comms or the paper, then that's different, but it doesn't seem as though she is from your description?

I work in HE. If I spent my time pursing correcting everyone who said something I didn't like or agree with, I'd have no time to do my actual job.

I'm pregnant and I am very happy to be referred to as a 'pregnant person'. That's what I am. Really, pick your battles. I always say people, even if talking about pregnancy, likewise I'd always say parent rather than mother or father. All NHS stuff about pregnancy that I've seen refers to people, so she's being consistent with that.

As she is correct.

Explain that non-specific and unecessarily vague language can be confusing to people whose first language is not English, people who have learning disabilities or are neuro atypical, and older people.

Explain further that you are an inclusive company that does not condone exclusionary practices such as ableism, ageism or racism and therefore you would prefer that she use the simplest and most correct phraseology

She is correct if she is talking about identities, which as we all know don't have to to correlate with anything biological. I presume that the OP is talking about sex, not gender. Transmen, non-binary female people are all adult human females, ie women.

No-one's job is at risk for saying "pregnant woman".

The only person who's position appears at even a little bit of risk is the OPs junior team member, who is using language her boss doesn't like.

Don't coerce her speech.

@LittlePrecious
Ignore all the "pregnant man" "coerced speech" cavilling. That's just distracting nonsense.

Pregnancy is a biological process. You've had a model answer that you are happy with, so don't doubt yourself. If the project involves discussion of, or with, women with identities, I'm sure you can guide her there as to what will be appropriate terminology. It does matter that your student uses correct and clear terminology, first and foremost, and secondly there is no need to offend women by referring to them as pregnant people. So you are doing the right thing and she will thank you for it in years to come.

So be happy then. Good for you.

Other women aren't happy at this description however, and should be allowed to say so.

Leave a copy of Caroline Criado Perez’ book “Invisible Women” on her desk.
Can you talk about how important it is to focus on women’s health issues? Historically, we didn’t talk about women’s health - menstruation, pregnancy, menopause, symptoms of heart attacks for goodness sake: all never mentioned in polite society. The sixties, seventies and eighties were filled with women given prescriptions of benzodiazepines rather than treatment of their issues.
When we use the word women we are bringing women to the front, giving them importance. Using the word people pushes them back.
I don’t know if that can be imparted in a few short sentences.

What will the research body require? Are they of the size / type to have a language guide or similar documents or research which will demonstrate their expectations on this front?

I suppose I'm asking if they are captured or whether they are a GC / biology first and feelings second variety. That might help or hinder your case.

It's that or murder her!

for crying out loud, it's all getting beyond ridiculous.

Women have babies.

Great post - that should fit well with a student interested in a project on pregnancy.