Line managing someone who talks about "pregnant people" - how to gently tell her to use "woman"?

[LittlePrecious]

I am line managing someone on a project about pregnancy.

She keeps using the phrase "pregnant people" and it turns my stomach.

What I want to say is "Pull yourself together, get a fucking grip, and use the word woman". But I feel I need to be slightly more tactful than that. But I'm not sure what to actually say because its such a blindingly obvious thing to have to say.

I work in academia where things are fraught. I don't want this backfiring on me.

Please do you have any suggestions for how I can phrase "just fucking say woman, its not a dirty word" tactfully and without putting myself at risk? I may need to commit this phrase to writing as well so there may be a paper trail.

Thank you!

Tell her ‘women and girls’ and if she comes back with ‘but non-binary and trans men’, just say, “Quite right, Mary, but we’re talking about sex, aren’t we, as only women can get pregnant. We don’t want to conflate sex and gender, Mary, because that’s transphobic”

Is a girl not a young woman? Especially one old enough to be pregnant, even if too young for that to be an entirely welcome experience.

I read just today that the pregnancy app being rolled out by NHS refers to people who are pregnant, can’t remember where I read that, but it was being challenged as inaccurate

@AlisonDonut I agree with you: ask her to use the language in the funding application.

Given that the NHS has been institutionally captured into using offensive terms for women and mothers, it’s not surprising.

Doesn’t mean that they’re correct or that erasure of the words women and mother should continue.

OP - depending on the funding body (and who’s behind the money!) it may be that they use this ridiculously offensive language too. Otherwise can you correct her and agree on standard terms to use throughout all communications.

That's great that you're happy; many are not.

As pp have said, referring to people instead of women pushes women into the background even on issues of female health.

It's confusing for people who are neurodiverse or whose first language isn't English.

Out of interest, how do you refer to the parent who carries and gives birth to the baby? Because sometimes we need to know which of the parents we are referring to - they aren't interchangeable.

IIRC the government have told the NHS to stop this inappropriate use of language and say what they mean ie pregnant women.

OP it really depends on where your funding is coming from as to what definition you'll have to go with.

If it's in harmony with the grant application, I would handle this issue by footnoting, in exactly the same way the BBC handles the migrant/refugee linguistic row. Asterisk, footnote: in this publication/project the word "woman" is used to include x, y, and z.

I would think about a situation in which a GC colleague had a TWAW line manager who wanted her to use "pregnant person" rather than "pregnant woman". How should that line manager behave in a situation where the two parties have conflicting philosophical beliefs, where each holds a genuine belief that the other's way of thinking is actively harmful to society? What would respectful disagreement look like in that situation? How would you want gender critical women to be treated in workplaces where they are in the minority? Then treat her the way you would want that hypothetical gender-critical woman to be treated by her line manager.

Then you ask ‘but what SEX are they, because that’s what we are talking about.’

You could start by asking her why she uses pregnant person rather than pregnant woman.

Depending on the answer you could say we prefer pregnant woman on this project.

If she is totally a GI believer, point out legislation uses the term woman or mother.

The RCOG uses ‘women’ throughout their publications and states “Within this information, we may use the terms ‘woman’ and ‘women’. However, it is not only people who identify as women who may want to access this information. Your care should be personalised, inclusive and sensitive to your needs, whatever your gender identity”. You could say that in order to support a health literate approach to your information and to minimise risk to patients /service users and your organisation you’ll mirror their approach and use women throughout.

Then mouth ‘shut up you twat’ at her back.

Oh @LittlePrecious I feel your pain (also work in academia in a particularly 'woke' #bekind area).

To stay safe, I think you have to focus on

• the intended audience (pregnant women & girls?)
• the intended subjects of your study (pregnant women & girls?)
• the science

And not in any way, shape or form, make it about a criticism of your colleague's language. Don't even address your colleague specifically. Make a general statement, that cannot be connected to your colleague. Been there, been burned (well, faced the disciplinary).

Good luck!

You could suggest that you use pregnant women throughout, but make an acknowledgement early on that nonbinary people can get pregnant, or maybe in a footnote:
This paper uses the word "women" throughout as this is preferred by most women, but we acknowledge that nonbinary people and transmen may sometimes become pregnant also. Wherever the term women is used, this should be understood to include these people who identify otherwise.

just tell her the term "pregnant people" is massively cis-phobic and, er, literal genocide. (or some such bollocks)

Turns your stomach?! I question your motives.

She’s technically correct too.

Non-binary and transmen are both women. They can only get pregnant because they are women. What they think in their heads is irrelevant. Anyway, the OP can point out that women with identities can be approached in the best way for them, but that most women object to being called 'pregnant people'.

But other women are not happy to be called a 'pregnant person', it feels alien and distancing. Only women become pregnant, so saying 'pregnant people' is erasing that fact.

Are you prepared to be hounded out of your job or harassed by students? I'm not saying it will happen, but you need to be prepared for how this can unravel, no matter how tactful you are.

Depends on the audience.

For scientific study of women's health, I've seen footnotes along the lines suggested previously: 'In this report, for brevity, we use 'woman' to mean a female person of any age. We recognise that not all those affected identify as women.'

If the information is going to be for general reading, a useful guide is sometimes 'can it be accurately translated by the 9 year old who is interpreting for his mum?'

(I know how to say woman in about sixteen different languages, thanks to a lockdown Duolingo habit, but would only recognise 'person' in two or three.)

Honestly OP I totally get where you are coming from but I would leave it.
i work in the third sector and face similar issues of language on a daily basis . I have no freedom of speech.

And that is fine for you. Can't say I'd even be much engaged myself if it was a HCP referring specifically to me in the doctor's office - I might roll my eyes a bit but wouldn't be offended as such.

But referring to "pregnant people" in a research setting or when discussing consequences of pregnancy whether it be impact on health, earning power, social integration, whatever, completely obfuscates the reality that pregnancy only happens to women and girls and therefore women and girls are the only ones who feel these impacts. It creates a fiction that the all people in society carry the burden of bearing and delivering babies - they don't. Only women and girls.

After the Dobbs decision in the US there was a whole ton of "this affects provision of healthcare for pregnant people" as if the whole population was affected. It wasn't. only women and girls are suffering the health consequences - many of them significant. Not "people". Even my TWAW daughters were up in arms about it.

If you have seniority, then I would just add in the footnote as suggested by others and then simply edit the document to change people to women.

I wouldn't even discuss it. I would just do it.

Why is it acceptable to call another woman a 'twat' as some have done on this thread?Particularly on a feminism board!

Is she policing your language, because if so then that isn't on. But you can't police hers either. Could this be language the research board prefers or the phrase most used in the literature she will be citing?

You have given us very little to go on here

Could this be language the research board prefers or the phrase most used in the literature she will be citing

Let’s hope that no research board prefers to introduce confusing terms which has an impact on health literacy that lead to confusion for certain population groups and variations in health outcomes. That would be very concerning and should be corrected. Ditto if she’s citing literature which does the same. That’s not policing language, that’s correcting incorrect terminology.

As the birthing parent. It is better to differentiate that way because not all mums are the birthing parent.