Fab, thanks for sharing, enjoyed reading it. Of course the whole thing really is bizarre, which is why it is so bewildering that it has taken such a hold. I really liked her question, 'Is this really all this comes down to?' and I think it probably is. For these men in particular, I'm sure it's extreme trauma leading to extreme narcissism with a specific fetish that seems all consuming until it's done and they finally realise it really wasn't the be all and end all. DH's comment that perhaps he had to learn the hard way is a bit Wizard of Oz ('because she wouldn't have believed me') but again maybe not far off. If only these people could get high quality support before they destroy so many lives around them but when we're not even allowed to acknowledge the mental health aspect that's never going to happen.