So there's' this

[MultiPolarista]

Over five years I was the victim of a stalker, it was one of the worst experiences I have ever had.
The police I can honestly say, were worse than useless. They did nothing for me and my family, becoming openly contemptuous by the end.

I had always refrained from complaining, basically they told me it would make zero difference.
After one horrendous visit by the cops I did start to fill in the complaints form.
Then I got to the question about gender identity being different from sex at birth.
I was so distraught about what I was being forced to live with that I lied and said I was trans.
Within an hour I was phoned by a guy who was grovelingly apologizing and asking what i wanted him to do in the case. It was amazing the change in attitude, it was completely nuts.
I did feel very guilty about it but also it really highlighted the difference in attitude to women being abused by men and men being abused by men.

? if your so convinced I'm lying why are you here?

This could be entirely true.
If so, then it is unfortunate not to be believed.
Am glad you are in a better place now, Op.

I actually totally believe OP . Every time my DH says there's redundancy in the offing I tell him just say he's trans. He hasn't done it. but I would totally do what OP had done.
Acceptance without exception. And if they query whether you really are it's because you totally pass, remember no one can tell.

well I am tall for a woman, Im not sure I would have done it had I not though I could probably pass as a transwoman

If it had been South Wales Police or West Yorkshire Police I wouldn't have been at all surprised. See the recent reports on misogyny and lack of response to women who've suffered domestic abuse and in some cases been murdered. Yet they will go round and harass women for social media posts and stickers citing "transphobia".

And as it's the Met - still quite prepared to believe it.

Again this doesn't make sense.

If you need to move, you find a place and hand in your notice.

Not the landlord's responsibility.

😶

I need to get on with dinner.

I was not going to give up my social housing, i dont make enough to go private

poor peoples problems, i know , i know, how tedious to have to listen

The reason I actually started this thread was not to try to prove my truthfulness but to explore with others;
1, did i do something immoral in lying about being trans?
2, what, if anything, does this mean for women when dealing with the police, both when trying to gain protection and in other circumstances?

Everything seems to be everyone else not understanding you.

Landlord (I think you mean the council) didn't evict him.
Council didn't move you.
Police didn't understand you because you were a woman.
Now MN won't believe you because you have poor peoples problems.

Well seeing as some of us are balancing food vs bills - I still have to go make dinner.

1. Not immoral, you are as trans as every other trans person

2 It's a lesson we all need to take on board , be trans if you want to be heard How can you tell the difference between a trans woman and a woman? People listen to the trans woman.

and yet your still here. 🤔

women who are being abused my men often find agencies have trouble understanding them I believe but maybe Im wrong and, as you say, its just me alone.

In the context of your desperation and not receiving appropriate and justifiable support and doing whatever it took to get yourself and dependents into a safer place, who would blame you?

The level of trust and faith in the police currently, especially amongst women, is probably very low.

Not all social housing is council.
Op stated, communal housing, which could be housing co operative of some kind, Rtt.

yep, housing co-op

I think, @MultiPolarista , you’re normal is very different from lots of people’s experience so there’s been lots of misunderstandings.

You didn’t clarify the landlord, house of multiple occupancy, social housing situation in a way people understand.

Most people are in a house where they control who moves in. Your situation does sound a bit unusual.

None the less the police should have helped.

urm, I think my normal is pritty much everyone's normal thanks.
But yes the communal house thing was unusual, but thats not the point.
The point is in a world where women are not offered protection from abuse, is it moral or/ and useful to claim trans identification?

and what are the implications of that

Do you honestly believe that within an hour of you filling a form in it had been processed and they’d seen you were trans and then decided to solve all your problems? You said it was on a complaints form? Do you think any of the complaints had an impact or just the trans thing?

Did the police sort the housing issue?

It was an online police complains form. and yes I guess they obviously read them quite quickly, unless there is some mechanism where some are read before others.?
and I believe if I had not ticked male at birth that it would have been dismissed and I doubt I would have even got a response.
the complaint was about the police who attended the scene, and they had cameras on their uniforms so when the guy phoned me he had already viewed the footage.
I believe they saw i was 'trans' and all the stops immediately were pulled out to give me premium service, no questions asked.

yes, they were on the phone to the co-op the same day and repeted days after

the police attending were disiplined and it went down on their record

or thats what they told me anyway

I went from suck it up bitch to please tell us what we can do for you in the click of an online button.
It left me feeling conflicted, but I was completely desperate at that point.
Its only now six months later that I would even consider talking about it.

@PatatiPatatras said
Landlord (I think you mean the council) didn't evict him.

Councils have handed over most rented social housing to Housing Associations, decades ago, some of which are not very good at being landlords.

I can well believe OP's situation was as she states.