Sexist and dangerous Samaritans ad

[Meadowbird]

https://twitter.com/samaritans/status/1760599123923722266

A really bizarre ad - encouraging lone women to approach disturbed men on deserted train station platforms and ask them out for a coffee. What could possibly go wrong? They also will become sexier if they do apparently.

I don’t agree that just because MN is a British forum, that you can assume the majority of posters are white.

It's likely to be the case that they are, based on UK demographics and also that the majority of people on the thread aren't touching that aspect of it.

I don’t think there ought to be or is any disagreement on the implications of her not only being a young woman, but also being a young black woman being guilt tripped (by the Samaritan’s via the male monologue) into feeling responsible for an older white male.

Given that I'm not 100% sure what those implications are, I can neither agree nor disagree.

It is actually a badly condensed version of a longer advert (which gets it slightly better - there are more people around for example) I will try and post a link.

Here is the longer version I think it is cut from

It makes me think of Princess Diana's "What does a girl have to do to get a coffee around here?" chat up line to James Hewitt. I'd read it as an invitation for sure.

If a NT person was telling me what my own lived experience was, I'd find that pretty patronising. I'm trying to do the same courtesy to Black women.

I still reckon that the advertising agency were told "...and one of the actors should be Black" because of that tokenising diversity ticky-box stuff that companies do. Usually bad ideas are a cock-up not a conspiracy. But how this negligent implementation of diverse casting makes Black women's lives harder by making the woman the Black actor and not the suicidal man or the railway worker, I can't speak for.

I don’t really get why that woman would come to the conclusion that man needed her help? Am I just being a bit thick or insensitive. I wouldn’t have given him a second thought, not because I’m uncaring but it wouldn’t have occurred to me he was in a potentially life threatening situation.

I still reckon that the advertising agency were told "...and one of the actors should be Black" because of that tokenising diversity ticky-box stuff that companies do

See, I think this is problematic as well - why are you assuming and jumping straight to "must have been cast because the agency were told to tick a box" just because she's black?!
Not she was cast because they cast her on her own merits as an actress?!

And we'd be right.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vBfMjvSM_qQ&pp=ygUlTm9ydGhlcm4gdHJhaW5zIHN1aWNpZGUgcHJldmVudGlvbiBhZA%3D%3D

I think this one by Northern trains is much better.

I don't know what I'd do in that situation. I spend a lot of time hanging around train stations (train spotting) and I've never seen someone who looks like they're going to jump, although my first thought is getting help from a member of staff or BTP.

I was once approached by two police officers while watching the trains go past, and when I said I was train spotting they shrugged and walked off. What annoyed me was the amount of people who when I told them this said someone must have thought I was going to jump. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I was behind an eight foot fence, and I get ridiculously excited when I see a train going past, hardly the actions of someone suicidal. Later found out if I ask nicely I can stand on the platform for a bit.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · Today 19:44

The guy in the advert had the kind of facial expression I associate with "angry" not "miserable". There's no fricking way I'd go anywhere near a strange male with that frown on.

Same. Especially not on the edge of a railway platform. And I definitely wouldn't be asking him a question which could be misconstrued as a come-on.

So let me get this clear:

1. If they cast a Black woman to be the intervenor, they are being racist because of the optics of having a Black woman service a white man's emotional needs.
2. If they cast her on her own merits, (1) still applies.
3. If they didn't cast her because of the optics, they are racist because of denying a Black actor a job.
4. Commenting from the understanding that the advertising industry is historically biased against Black people and has adopted flawed tokenising practices in an attempt to do better is "problematic".

People who were wondering why most posters silently ignored the race angle: the above is why. It's a minefield and I wish I'd had the sense that everyone else had to stay out of it.

I'm autistic so have some trouble reading faces (although I self taught to a degree of nuance where I can spot danger better than most neurotypicals).

And yet, that's the kind of expression I imagine Wayne Cousins might have been pulling when he was working out how to rape and murder a woman.

I also know men will exploit sadness and grief to get their way with vulnerable women.

So am obviously raging as to why this 'know your place, support woman's travesty of an advert was made.

Men need to get over the fact we are not their fucking mums.

Every time I've got a train recently, I've ended up far too worried about whether I'm going to get to my destination on time after a train cancellation, to notice anyone else seeming distressed.

If my own problems weren't consuming me, meaning I noticed, I probably would intervene, but I'd be very cautious about doing it directly to a male. I certainly wouldn't bring up coffee!

I'd find a member of station staff, or I'd ask a question about the station, while standing at a safe distance

Caution is very necessary. This thread has already touched on different suicide patterns, such as the numbers directed by momentary impulse. Some people are motivated by personal misery, and they really don't want to harm anyone else. Some are motivated by anger. I don't want to be in an arm's length of an angry, impulsive man, because he may pull me on the tracks with him.

I disagree. If I see someone I beleive is distressed, I would rather miss my train and alert someone at the station to my concerns- I will not approach someone and risk my safety. There are ways to alert someone without putting yourself at risk, whether you're male or female.

Thank you for posting, NavyKoala.

I think some people are getting so lost in interpretations of the ad based on personal biases that they are missing the underlying, important message.

So, so glad that you’re here to post and that a strangers went with their gut to help you.

So, so glad that you’re here to post and that a strangers went with their gut to help you.

Same

(Wondering if you were able to find that name, @VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia: no worries if you’re busy but really interested).

ScribblingPixie
**
It makes me think of Princess Diana's "What does a girl have to do to get a coffee around here?" chat up line to James Hewitt. I'd read it as an invitation for sure.”

I have no idea what that refers to (at 59) If someone asked me where I could get a coffee, I’d point them to the nearest coffee shop, would read nothing else into it at all. Would have had the same response in the 90s.

It's a terrible ad. What if the man asked to join her for coffee, does she then have to follow through? Also why the two different outfits for the woman? It is sexist. I don't know any man who would feel he had to intervene if another man looked grumpy while waiting for a train. Why is it the woman's obligation?

Deserted? There was another person standing right behind the 'strange' man and more across the platform.

Even if women are more likely to be the victim of the man in this scenario.

I don't think they are though are they? Men are something like 4x more likely to be attacked by a stranger. Women are at the greatest risk at home and around their partners I thought.

I work in marketing and it's a terrible ad. It's obviously unsafe for a woman to approach a lone man struggling with some sort of crisis. It's really weird the way they've used hair and makeup as indicator of a 'good' and 'mean' woman. Just awful messaging.

Because women manage risk by avoiding being alone with strangers.

This means the only men left who have access to us are our partners.

If women treated male strangers with the same trust we extend to our own family, a lot more women would be murdered each week.

Also, how many men are attacked by female strangers?

I can only assume you forget references... Nescafé gold blend advert?

Nope, sorry, still means nothing @ Woman2023. Know the ad, no idea what it has to do with Princess Diana.
Maybe I was busy with my own life 😁