A few years ago I happily shared a gym changing room, dried my hair and did my makeup with a trans woman who almost passed. I wasn’t worried - at the time I assumed they had transitioned as a result of years, decades perhaps, of therapy after significant trauma and that transitioning was their last resort at having something akin to a normal life and better mental health. I still feel deep empathy for such quietly, fully-transitioned souls just trying to go about their lives under the radar.
But changing rooms and bathrooms now, though? Now that ‘trans’ means any male who has decided in the last couple of minutes that they are female - without therapy, surgery or any long-term commitment to deal with their trauma and often merely on the basis of misogynistic, sexualised perversions - it’s a huge no.
I’ve watched my DD wrestle with self hatred caused by an anti autistic/ lesbophobic culture that made her feel isolated, ugly and unlikeable - who, with eff all help available from CAMHS, came to the conclusion she was trans. 6 years of self harming and severe MH has not softened me to the toxicity of this movement. She has felt afraid of being female, of men in her space, of failing to achieve idealised levels of feminine beauty - all driven by the men in this movement. Fortunately, as she has got older, she has realised that trying to be a man does not protect her from them and, in fact, exposes her to even more repugnant examples of manhood, so is slowly desisting.
So, no, I do not want to share a bathroom or changing room with them. I want them to stay where they belong - dressing up in their bedrooms with consenting adults or, ideally, in psychiatric care.