Non binary Teacher year 4

[1982mommaof4]

Okay not sure if it's me being sensitive...
My daughter is in year 4 juniors and she has a new teacher who identifies as Non binary and has made the class aware of this. She likes this teacher which is great. However, my DD now has questions that to be honest I don't want to answer.
One being do they( daughters words)have what I have or my brother has because they look like a girl but aren't.

Does that mean that some girls aren't girls...

How would you answer these questions, I'm trying to be sensitive and not offensive but I'm finding difficult to not be brutally honest in what I think.

I've watched a lot of online GC tribunals either virtually or live tweeted in the past few years, and a not uncommon feature of them is that there is a "non binary" person, who has often created chaos in the organisation and is pandered to to the detriment of others, and during the court hearing, though members try their hardest to get the they/them pronouns right, they eventually slip up on all sides. It's a power trip, it makes people walk on eggshells.

Completely inappropriate for this nonsense to be forced onto a Y4 class. Or any other class really.

'Someone believing in the existence of god doesn't directly impact the child in any way'

Someone believing in God doesn't directly impact on anyone else in the same way a males believing they are female doesn't impact on anyone else.

The impact comes if/when others are asked to change their behaviour, because of the beliefs of others. A school example might be expecting children to sing Christian hymns or say the Lord's Prayer if they are atheist or of a non Christian faith. Asking children to use pronouns aligned with gender identity rather than natal sex could be an equivalent for those who ascribe to gender ideology versus gender critical ideology.

I think the key difference is that it is quite easy to swerve differences in religious beliefs, whereas pronouns are built into everyday discourses.

Anyone who puts their own personal narcissism ahead of the mental wellbeing of the children they have a responsibility to educate, should absolutely not be employed as a teacher.

It seems a lot of people don't know the difference between trans and non-binary. They are not the same thing. A very simple way of explaining it to your daughter is some people dont like or want to be defined by gender. So it's kind of like saying "I have two children" rather than "I have a son and a daughter". Or "I have three siblings" instead of "I have a brother and two sisters". Whether your children or siblings are male or female isn't important in most situations.

No.

Sex is important. That children have a sex is something they need to know.

If the worst should happen and they're sexually assaulted, they have to be able to give best evidence to the police. If they're taught to be confused about males and females they cannot do this.

What happens if a child says you must call the teacher they, and the parent cannot do that as they know it reinforces a non fact based ideology

I know my dc like to listen to teachers and I always back that up but I couldn’t with this and I think they’d feel upset from that

Should non-binary people to be banned from teaching?

"Should people who identify as Napoleon be banned from teaching"?

If you don't want to be "defined by gender" why give it such priority and power in your life that just referring to the fact that someone is male or female becomes problematic? Why not reject the imposition of "gender" or sex-based stereotyping and promote the idea that such stereotyping and sex-based expectations are a nonsense and usually harmful to women?

If I know that someone has a brother and sister rather than two siblings, what extra information about them apart from their sex do you imagine that I now know?

I'm finding difficult to not be brutally honest in what I think.

Yes, teachers spinning lies to children is pretty low. My friend's children all all totally terfy and say most of their mates are. She's very upfront with her kids about what she thinks so why not say what you think?

If your daughter is mature enough and it's appropriate you could try an analogy with religion. 'Some people believe in god but I don't, I think that's just a belief some people choose to go along with. Some people believe the earth is flat or the Loch Ness monster really exists. People believe all kinds of weird things. You and I know that there are two sexes, male and female, and that everyone on the planet is either a man or a woman. But for some reason, a bit like believing in god, your teacher believes she's neither male or female.' And then laugh with your daughter about how strange some people are, even nice people whom you like.

It seems a lot of people don't know the difference between trans and non-binary. They are not the same thing.

"Non binary" is under the trans umbrella according to Stonewall and most trans organisations.

It's bigger for me; when it comes to personal / intimate care plans and safeguarding there's no room for believing you're a different sex.

Belief in god has no impact at all there.

There is a situation where religion directly impacts safeguarding and that's FGM.

And obviously there are some analogies there to be drawn.

Huh? If they know who assaulted them, they will be able to say who it was. If they don't know who assaulted them, they will only ever be guessing or assuming unless they see genitals. In which case they will say what the saw.

If I know that someone has a brother and sister rather than two siblings, what extra information about them apart from their sex do you imagine that I now know?.

Good question.

HollyKnight care to attempt an answer?

Huh? If they know who assaulted them, they will be able to say who it was. If they don't know who assaulted them, they will only ever be guessing or assuming unless they see genitals. In which case they will say what the saw.

Spoken like someone who's lucky enough never to have had the experience of working in the field of child sexual abuse.

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g @WarriorN

to clarify, I have seen more than I have stomach for with regards to posts related to periods by transwomen. I leave the content to your imagination.

I have also seen it argued how dysphoric a period can make a transman and how words are incredibly important to not make this worse.

getting your period can be very traumatic for a young girl, especially if it is the first time. This should be the primary concern, the distressed child. These children should be very careful with whom they approach for help.

not sure if that is clearer?

On the point of comparing to religion, I know children who go to a CEP school. Children of other faiths are excused from assembly. So why are ALL the Y4 children in OP's class forced to go along with gender ideology?!

How does knowing their sex change anything? Would not knowing their sex change anything? Or does it make no difference in that situation? Like marital status or religious affiliation or sexual orientation. Most of the time these things don't matter.

'Huh? If they know who assaulted them, they will be able to say who it was. If they don't know who assaulted them, they will only ever be guessing or assuming unless they see genitals. In which case they will say what the saw'

Sex is very significant when it comes to sexual offending. Nearly all perpetrators are male, regardless of their gender identity. Females are at much, much greater risk of harm from males than females. It doesn't matter whether males call themselves or think of themselves as men or women, the risk stays the same. So, gender identity has no significance when it comes to sexual assault perpetrators. If anything, it's important to educate people, especially those with safeguarding responsibilities) that the risk doesn't change because of someone's preferred pronouns

Unfortunately, we've just had this problem haven't we?

A raped woman wanted to know whether or not she would be seen by a man or a woman, at the rape refuge and because a person at the centre is non-binary, she doesn't get her answer.

In fact, a trustee who knew the NB person in question, was asked in court what sex they were, and they didn't know, and said would have to ask someone higher up the food chain.

I did. It makes no difference either way so it should be up to the individual if they want to go into detail about their siblings.

Absolutely hoover but it's not up to children to keep themselves safe.

That's adults' responsibilities.

Completely understand where you are coming from. The individual trans man's feelings are incompatible with the role of teaching in that context.

In fact, a trustee who knew the NB person in question, was asked in court what sex they were, and they didn't know, and said would have to ask someone higher up the food chain.

Even though she managed to "misgender" the female person in question several times herself giving her evidence, and strangely only used she/her.

@HollyKnight so we agree that sex doesn't matter in the examples you gave, so why is it so important or necessary, or even desirable, not to mention it?

Yes. And we all know why.