Are people becoming more paranoid about the idea men using women’s facilities?

[Pleaseme]

I was in the shower at the gym today and a member of staff came and knocked on the cubicle door to inform me I was in the ladies changing room. I was a bit confused and replied that I was a woman but thanks for checking.

It turns out some teenage girls ( council gym in a high school) had complained that there was a man in the changing room. I didn’t see them but I did hear some shrieking etc. I can only assume they saw my work clothes hanging up, hi vis t shirt, ballistic trousers and work boots and assumed I was a bloke.

I did go and chat with the staff member afterwards. She was definitely relieved I was not a man but was unsure what she could do if I had been. Are people allowed to choose where to get changed nowadays?

I am a bit bemused by the whole thing tbh. It’s not an assumption I’d of made at their age but perhaps people are much more concerned nowadays?

I have to admit I’ve never encountered a bloke in bathroom / showers. I have met a couple of blue haired young ladies, who were all I’m a man and used the gents at work. It wasn't popular but was short lived.

Sure Jan

😂

I like the sound of ballistic trousers.

A friend of mine has her 12 year old granddaughter at the gym. There was a male in the dressing room, exposed. My friend was told if she wished to avoid that situation, she would have to use the single dressing facility. That person identified as female and they could not force her to use the single facility.

Ballistic trousers? Impressive!

'Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.'

Joseph Heller

Yes. Women are far more wary and on guard. Many are already self excluding from places they know are likely to allow men to use the supposed ladies' change rooms or loos, or what used to be single sex swimming sessions etc.

We know more males are insisting on using women's spaces. It's diminishing women's lives and putting women and girls at higher risk.

Shit, isn't it?

It's be good to see a decent survey to assess how much damage has already been done. How many women are self excluding. How many are more anxious about partaking in public life.

OP. Why would the girls have seen your clothes hanging up ?

Where did you hang your clothes up that they could have seen your clothes?

sadly ballistic trousers aren’t at all exciting, just puncture resistant. https://apexworkwear.co.uk/products/long-ballistic-polycotton-combat-trousers-guardian?variant=39666696355925&sfdr_ptcid=42230_100_682209999&sfdr_hash=290ae29853b15c9fccf6d8d0e106be23&gclid=CjwKCAjwgZCoBhBnEiwAz35RwhCXnrE3tJrd9fixz8L4DNaPH_9Q_ZgaGPyJ5Em1lSTTMsOLNseOGBoClHEQAvD_BwE

Honestly I’m naturally quite terfy. However there aren’t any issues with trans children as far as I’m aware in either of the dcs school ( not the same school I was in). I never find blokes in the ladies. I effectively have my own loo/ shower at work as the only female. 20 blokes get to share 2 loos and 1 shower.

Also OP, I am sure you must be very pleased that the staff at your gym care about making sure girls feel safe in their changing rooms. I am sure you thanked them for checking, I know I would thank them for making sure the girls were safe and that they would be assured someone would look out for their safety. What a relief!!

Could you tell us what gym chain it was and maybe we could write to them and thank them. The best way to encourage girls to get fit and stay in sport is to make sure they are safe in the changing room.

(not the specific gym just the chain)

Remember the thread from Belfastdad3 about Ballantynes the other month? I wonder what happened with that gym!!

OP the dad came here and told us his girls encountered a naked male exposing themselves in the female change area, and he has been doing so for a few weeks. They had taken to both getting changed in a toilet together to feel comfortable after their swimming lessons.

Basically the social contract has been broken. That's a complex and tricky thing to assess or repair and the effects will also be complex and tricky.

We could probably expect to see things like underground networks of women forming and organising, and some pushback. Which we have seen.

What won't be visible is the women who quietly stop going swimming, the 'urinary leash' tightening, women avoiding hospitals and HCPs, a general worsening of women's mental health and participation in society.

The failure to consider or register these things is exacerbated by the fact that women are generally overlooked and disregarded anyway - see 'Invisible Women' for many many examples.

Worst if all has been the omerta on women talking. I can't quite begin to say what the overall effect on women is - to see their rights diminished and taken away but forbid them from speaking about it. To cast any woman who speaks up as an evil bigot is gaslighting abuse. Its damn cruel, is what it is.

I am however very pleased to find out those trousers are called ballistic trousers. 😊

OP said it was a council gym.

Oh. Well I guess we probably shouldn’t ask then and send them postcards.

Sorry OP, I didn’t twig. But if it was a council gym in a high school then that probably explains the clothes being visible to the girls.

Apologies for my confusion.

I can see how it must have been confusing for you, OP. And I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable.

I am glad those girls for having stated their boundaries and stood up for themselves, though. Even if mistaken.

Sure OP. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

Yes, people are becoming more worried about men in the women's changing rooms, since more and more men are using women's spaces.

Don't blame the girls. Can't trust who is using our bathrooms and changing spaces these days.

Yes they are. Although I wouldn’t use the word paranoid. Vigilant is more the word.

I would be speaking to the girls about gender stereotyping and that women can work in all sorts of roles, including those that involve wearing ballistic trousers.

This might help OP

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4870071-gym-swimming-changing-issue?reply=128349143

I am trying to find another thread at the time where it turns out that there were 4 or 5 Ballantyne gyms that males had been using the female space. That thread came about because Duncan Ballantyne wanted to know more so he could make appropriate changes to get his policy adhered to. Because many women joined and joined their children based on his statements in the past that males were not allowed access to female spaces.

I’ve not, as yet, come across a bloke anywhere I wouldn’t expect to find one, other than the odd man who accidentally walked into the wrong place.

Indeed I’m fairly sure that’s why so many people think it’s a non-issue.

However, for the women who are affected, the changing social contract is very significant. And those women include some who are both largely invisible and extremely vulnerable. For example, women in prison often have chaotic backgrounds and difficult lives, often marred by abusive men. They are now shut in with male criminals who, quite apart from being a physical threat, also bring the possibility of pregnancy.

Women who want to access rape crisis groups with women only, because they only feel safe with women there, or feel they can’t talk with men present, are discovering there are no groups in their area where it can be guaranteed that only women will be present.

And even if we look at changing rooms, we find out how many young women were disturbed and distressed by the presence of the swimmer, Thomas, who wandered round in an aroused state, while teenage girls were peeling themselves in and out of racing swimwear, that can take fifteen minutes to don. One man can traumatize or disadvantage hundreds, even thousands of women.

I haven’t been affected personally yet, but the demand of transactivism: that we must prioritize those men over all women, regardless of whether the women consent, is entirely unreasonable. We cannot allow it to become the norm.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12350741/amp/Parents-raised-concerns-transgender-pool-official-using-womens-changing-room-time-young-girls.html

This might help also.

The incidences are beginning to mount up OP. Thanks again for supporting the staff in their attempt to make sure the girls are safe.