Page 2 | Asking someone’s pronouns is as important as finding out their name

SamW98 · 2023-09-15T15:55:16+00:00

[[https://metro.co.uk/2023/09/13/talking-about-pronouns-isnt-a-chore-its-like-asking-someones-name-19491080/amp/ https://metro.co.uk/2023/09/13/talking-about-pronouns-isnt-a-chore-its-like-asking-someones-name-19491080/amp/]] No it really isn’t. Does anyone really meet a new person in a social setting and say ‘hi I’m Doris and my pronouns are hee/haw, what’s your name and pronouns?

Waitwhat23 · 15/09/2023 17:57

There's a video kicking about on Twitter at the moment in which some fuckwit explains, very earnestly, that they use colour coding in their bio to indicate which pronouns they feel like today - purple, pink or blue.

It's just such narcissistic navel gazing. As if anyone else gives a tiny, shiny shit.

JellySaurus · 15/09/2023 18:14

Froodwithatowel · 15/09/2023 17:10

Asking for someone's pronouns confirms that they are very focused on their personal politics and evangelism. And I am likely to respond in the same way as to someone with a bible in their hand demanding to know if I'm saved.

Your beliefs are fine. Inflict them on me, and there's a problem.

Quite.

Though I do like AbacusAvocado's response, eg ten you have no choice but to acknowledge and interact with an oversharing evangelist.

WhatapityWapiti · 15/09/2023 18:15

Catsanfan · 15/09/2023 17:04

I deleted an email at work today from a Phil with he/him/his emblazoned across his signature purely based on him announcing his pronouns

I have a female friend Philippa who goes by Phil. It’s also short for Philomena.

Namechange285 · 15/09/2023 18:18

I come on threads like this purely for the replies, to remind myself that there are some sane people left in the world (since I spend my days working for an organisation where every fucker declares their pronouns in emails and even worse, some tell you them at the start of a meeting too despite it being blatantly fucking obvious because you can see them 😂)

WhatapityWapiti · 15/09/2023 18:19

My brother in law is an eco activist type but the world of gender fluidity and pronoun-specifying had somewhat passed him by till he was at some group meeting a couple of years ago when they all went round the circle and introduced themselves as Bob she/her, Dave he/him. He said he thought they were surnames and they were all related 🤣🤣

Precipice · 15/09/2023 18:24

WhatapityWapiti · 15/09/2023 18:15

I have a female friend Philippa who goes by Phil. It’s also short for Philomena.

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But does Phil, short for Philippa, need most of her email correspondents to know that she is a woman? Does Phil, short for Philip, need most of his email correspondents to know he is a man? If either sign off as Phil, they're likely to get a response starting with 'Dear Phil' and then responding to the actual text of their email.

AliOlis · 15/09/2023 18:28

Precipice · 15/09/2023 18:24

But does Phil, short for Philippa, need most of her email correspondents to know that she is a woman? Does Phil, short for Philip, need most of his email correspondents to know he is a man? If either sign off as Phil, they're likely to get a response starting with 'Dear Phil' and then responding to the actual text of their email.

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Indeed. Or they could take the old fashioned route of adding Mr/Ms/Mrs if they consider it vital that their sex be known.

lookandsee · 15/09/2023 18:28

turbonerd · 15/09/2023 17:15

I’d ideally like everyone to also state their weight (in kg for gods sakes), height without shoes, original hair colour and religious faith right off the bat. Favourite colour and whether they eat meat, egg, dairy or if they still consider themselves vegetarians because they only eat chicken and fish a few times a week.

Also if they mind swearing or not, to avoid awkwardness after jokes and such.

Do they object to me dancing my mood daily at 9 am?

Anything I have forgotten now that really shouldn’t be left out?

No, goodness, those would be far too factual and in certain circumstances useful. Unless you mean that they state the height and weight that they identify and suchlike😆

C1N1C · 15/09/2023 18:29

How to know who you can't trust to say anything to at work.

Namechange285 · 15/09/2023 18:30

WhatapityWapiti · 15/09/2023 18:19

My brother in law is an eco activist type but the world of gender fluidity and pronoun-specifying had somewhat passed him by till he was at some group meeting a couple of years ago when they all went round the circle and introduced themselves as Bob she/her, Dave he/him. He said he thought they were surnames and they were all related 🤣🤣

😂😂

ArabeIIaScott · 15/09/2023 18:33

Apollo441 · 15/09/2023 17:02

Pronouns are a great way of announcing you are a complete narcissistic bell end and anyone with a brain should avoid you. So they serve a purpose.

Yep. Very useful. Anyone with genderist beliefs should use them; loud and proud, please.

WhatapityWapiti · 15/09/2023 18:34

Precipice · 15/09/2023 18:24

But does Phil, short for Philippa, need most of her email correspondents to know that she is a woman? Does Phil, short for Philip, need most of his email correspondents to know he is a man? If either sign off as Phil, they're likely to get a response starting with 'Dear Phil' and then responding to the actual text of their email.

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Depends on context I guess. Helpful if you haven’t met Phil and want to copy Phil in to an email to someone else and say “I’m copying Phil as she will be able to help you with finding the document you want”. Obviously not relevant to how well Phil does his or her job. I mean, I get that stating pronouns is bullshit when it’s all about virtue signalling, but just sayin’ that for unisex names or ones from an unfamiliar culture it can sometimes be helpful for entirely collateral reasons. (I have a unisex name. My sex, gender and pronouns all align. But I still like to be referred to by the correct pronoun so it’s quite convenient that the bullshit brigade have given me a way to state what it is).

Redebs · 15/09/2023 18:36

Hi, I'm Redebs and my pronouns are: Her Majesty/Her Majesty's

quantumbutterfly · 15/09/2023 18:37

Chipperfish · 15/09/2023 17:05

In my list of importance its after favourite seashanty but before lucky crystal

I'm ambivalent about sea shanties, does that mean I'm cancelled?

gyf · 15/09/2023 18:38

I meet, and email about, lots of people I've never met whose names are from a culture I'm not familiar with, so it happens quite often that I have to refer to someone whose sex I don't know. It's really not hard to do it without pronouns. In the example above, "I'm copying Phil who can help you...". I recommend it.

viques · 15/09/2023 18:38

turbonerd · 15/09/2023 17:15

I’d ideally like everyone to also state their weight (in kg for gods sakes), height without shoes, original hair colour and religious faith right off the bat. Favourite colour and whether they eat meat, egg, dairy or if they still consider themselves vegetarians because they only eat chicken and fish a few times a week.

Also if they mind swearing or not, to avoid awkwardness after jokes and such.

Do they object to me dancing my mood daily at 9 am?

Anything I have forgotten now that really shouldn’t be left out?

Middle name, and why, star sign, best celebrity encounter, favourite Friends character.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 15/09/2023 18:39

WhatapityWapiti · 15/09/2023 18:34

Depends on context I guess. Helpful if you haven’t met Phil and want to copy Phil in to an email to someone else and say “I’m copying Phil as she will be able to help you with finding the document you want”. Obviously not relevant to how well Phil does his or her job. I mean, I get that stating pronouns is bullshit when it’s all about virtue signalling, but just sayin’ that for unisex names or ones from an unfamiliar culture it can sometimes be helpful for entirely collateral reasons. (I have a unisex name. My sex, gender and pronouns all align. But I still like to be referred to by the correct pronoun so it’s quite convenient that the bullshit brigade have given me a way to state what it is).

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I've never needed to use pronouns in an email like that.

I'd either write "I've cc'd Phil who can best help you" or "the best person to help you is Phil (cc'd)" or similar.

HermioneWeasley · 15/09/2023 18:40

Metro is just a trans propaganda machine

gyf · 15/09/2023 18:41

(Hmm, "who" is a pronoun, though. Sorry long-ago English teacher...)

AliOlis · 15/09/2023 18:42

gyf · 15/09/2023 18:41

(Hmm, "who" is a pronoun, though. Sorry long-ago English teacher...)

Applied equally to all, so... 🤷🏻‍♀️

quantumbutterfly · 15/09/2023 18:42

gyf · 15/09/2023 18:41

(Hmm, "who" is a pronoun, though. Sorry long-ago English teacher...)

so Dr Who - mateyboy Tennant hiding in plain sight with his pronouns.

gyf · 15/09/2023 18:43

Has possibilities. My pronouns are who/me

quantumbutterfly · 15/09/2023 18:44

😁

quantumbutterfly · 15/09/2023 18:46

Do random pronouns have specific genders attached to them?
Last time I looked there were >70 genders available, that's a lot of pronouns to play with.

Original poster

SamW98 · 15/09/2023 18:50

Precipice · 15/09/2023 18:24

But does Phil, short for Philippa, need most of her email correspondents to know that she is a woman? Does Phil, short for Philip, need most of his email correspondents to know he is a man? If either sign off as Phil, they're likely to get a response starting with 'Dear Phil' and then responding to the actual text of their email.

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Absolutely no one ever calls me Samantha but I use that as my email signature just so people realise I’m a woman.
I’ve always found it easier than using Sam and constantly being called he in replies - though unlike the special people, being called he on an email didn’t ever make me feel so emotionally drained and demoralised that I had to lie down in a dark room to recover from the trauma.

OP posts: