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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Ugh and wow

98 replies

porridgeisbae · 17/08/2023 20:08

Stopped for a pint at a bar- looked in the garden and there was some crusty scabby guy with a couple of others so I decided not to sit through there.

Had to go through there to use the loo after a bit and this bloke, with dreds and a tattoo on his forehead, was in the lady's loos. I wish I'd confronted him.

I assume he thinks having long dreds makes him a woman. Envy

OP posts:
brokenlore · 17/08/2023 20:53

Do you think he'd had a skin full and made a mistake or do you think it was deliberate? I only ask because I once inadvertently went into the men's loos at a work conference (I was totally mortified!), the icon for men and women were really similar and I didn't have my glasses on....I got the hell out as soon as I saw the urinals but bloody hell I'm going beetroot just thinking about it...it wasn't just me though, one of the male delegates went into the female loos and came out hugely apologetic, we both agreed the stupid artsy male female icons were really hard to distinguish....and this was many many years ago, before all this crap started.
However If it's deliberate then just No, he can just eff off out of it.

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/08/2023 20:55

Tattoos on the face is a red flag for psychopathy.

Ugh for definite.

Original poster
porridgeisbae · 17/08/2023 21:06

He was also skinnier than the average male, I think he thinks not eating=being a woman.

@brokenlore I think he thought because he had long dreds then he can count as a woman. But I suppose I should've assumed good faith and that he'd just made a mistake, and mentioned it to him.

OP posts:
Ifeelsuchflutterings · 17/08/2023 21:10

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/08/2023 20:55

Tattoos on the face is a red flag for psychopathy.

Ugh for definite.

Many tribes have traditional facial tattoos so that viewpoint seems a little western centric

That said it still doesn't entitle him to use the women's toilets

Original poster
porridgeisbae · 17/08/2023 21:10

Thinking about it, if a bloke who 'identified as a bloke' realised he was in the ladies because a woman came out of the other cubicle, I think they would apologise (I was definitely in the right loo, I checked when I got out. Grin )

Tattoos on the face is a red flag for psychopathy.

@MrsTerryPratchett I think they are on a bloke maybe, depending what they have. Definitely not a good idea for anyone.

OP posts:
Ifeelsuchflutterings · 17/08/2023 21:22

porridgeisbae · 17/08/2023 21:10

Thinking about it, if a bloke who 'identified as a bloke' realised he was in the ladies because a woman came out of the other cubicle, I think they would apologise (I was definitely in the right loo, I checked when I got out. Grin )

Tattoos on the face is a red flag for psychopathy.

@MrsTerryPratchett I think they are on a bloke maybe, depending what they have. Definitely not a good idea for anyone.

I think they are on a bloke maybe, depending what they have. Definitely not a good idea for anyone.

Like Maori for example? I'm assuming you aren't Maori but it's okay for you to decide this somehow?

anothernamitynamenamechange · 17/08/2023 21:29

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/08/2023 20:55

Tattoos on the face is a red flag for psychopathy.

Ugh for definite.

I actually know a really lovely older bloke with tattoos all over his face. He works as a tattoo artist though so it makes sense. But on the whole it would be silly to have face tattoos and be surprised if it sent a message
And face tattoos in other cultures (Maori etc) also send a message. Just a different one because it's a different culture.

HootyMcBooby76 · 17/08/2023 21:43

I think it is just representative of what's going on in general and the slow dismantling of women's spaces.
I've noticed a general increase in males using the female toilets in general, on hols last year a young guy in his twenties was casually using the sink in the female toilets as nonchalant as you please.
And I've seen guys going into the ladies toilets at our locals hopping centre.
They don't care anymore.
Disrespect for women is at an all time high.
And they know there is nothing anyone can do about it.

Confusion101 · 17/08/2023 22:19

I assume he thinks having long dreds makes him a woman
I think he thinks not eating=being a woman.

Bizzare assumptions to make about someone you have never spoken to before.

ILoveToads · 17/08/2023 22:20

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/08/2023 20:55

Tattoos on the face is a red flag for psychopathy.

Ugh for definite.

Was that a sarcastic comment regarding face tattoos?

WILTYjim · 17/08/2023 22:28

Confusion101 · 17/08/2023 22:19

I assume he thinks having long dreds makes him a woman
I think he thinks not eating=being a woman.

Bizzare assumptions to make about someone you have never spoken to before.

Yes, really quite some leap.

Nicecupofteaforthree · 17/08/2023 23:22

I was in the ladies in Euston earlier this year. A bloke wandered in and pretended he was distracted by his mobile phone and had "accidentally" come in. A swarm of women chased him out. He did not then go into the blokes loo.

allyjay · 17/08/2023 23:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

allyjay · 17/08/2023 23:35

Sorry that was not to you OP but another poster wittering on about western centricism. So sick of the strawmen arguments on FWR these days

Ifeelsuchflutterings · 17/08/2023 23:42

This reply has been deleted

Post deleted by MNHQ as it quotes a deleted post.

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/08/2023 23:48

OK sorry all. The OP referred to a bloke in a pub and going to the loo so I'm assuming the UK not NZ.

I do know people with cultural tattoos. But none of them have ever been twatty hence my comment (which is true BTW outwith cultural tattoos). Sorry to have assumed people would know from context that I was talking about twatty men in UK pubs using the wrong loo. Not people receiving Māori tattoos.

Ifeelsuchflutterings · 17/08/2023 23:51

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/08/2023 23:48

OK sorry all. The OP referred to a bloke in a pub and going to the loo so I'm assuming the UK not NZ.

I do know people with cultural tattoos. But none of them have ever been twatty hence my comment (which is true BTW outwith cultural tattoos). Sorry to have assumed people would know from context that I was talking about twatty men in UK pubs using the wrong loo. Not people receiving Māori tattoos.

Does the UK not have Maori's living in it? I must tell my neighbour to move...

More to the point the OP mentioned the man in question having dreads, which may have been locs and therefore a potential to be from a culture more associated with facial tattoos.

unwashedanddazed · 17/08/2023 23:53

Ifeelsuchflutterings · 17/08/2023 23:51

Does the UK not have Maori's living in it? I must tell my neighbour to move...

More to the point the OP mentioned the man in question having dreads, which may have been locs and therefore a potential to be from a culture more associated with facial tattoos.

Show quote history

It was a fucking bloke in the women's toilets. No one gives a flying fuck where he's from!

Ifeelsuchflutterings · 17/08/2023 23:55

unwashedanddazed · 17/08/2023 23:53

It was a fucking bloke in the women's toilets. No one gives a flying fuck where he's from!

Show quote history

I already said he was wrong to be there...

LoveThisUsername · 18/08/2023 00:08

unwashedanddazed · 17/08/2023 23:53

It was a fucking bloke in the women's toilets. No one gives a flying fuck where he's from!

Show quote history

Maybe not, but there's a lot of underlying prejudices on this thread.

allyjay · 18/08/2023 00:12

We are talking about a British man in a British pub so yes, you are whatabouttering. It doesn't matter what Maori (or other non Western people) are doing. This op was talking about a British, Western man. So stop making this into a race issue when it isn't

Ifeelsuchflutterings · 18/08/2023 00:17

allyjay · 18/08/2023 00:12

We are talking about a British man in a British pub so yes, you are whatabouttering. It doesn't matter what Maori (or other non Western people) are doing. This op was talking about a British, Western man. So stop making this into a race issue when it isn't

The OP hasn't even said they were in the UK never mind that the man in question was British (I assume you mean white here as its possible to be both British and have Maori heritage or other heritages that have a history of facial tattoos) or Western

No one was making it into a race issue until people started being offensive about tattoos which can be perfectly normal in some cultures

allyjay · 18/08/2023 00:19

Oh Christ. Where you in the UK OP and was the fella with dreads white and Britsh?

LoveThisUsername · 18/08/2023 00:24

allyjay · 18/08/2023 00:12

We are talking about a British man in a British pub so yes, you are whatabouttering. It doesn't matter what Maori (or other non Western people) are doing. This op was talking about a British, Western man. So stop making this into a race issue when it isn't

See what I mean.

Just because the op might be in the UK doesn't mean the man is white and/or British.

Where I'm from there are more foreign people than people who were born there.

allyjay · 18/08/2023 00:37

This is a British site and the majority of people who post here are British. Therefore I think I'm able to extrapolate that the OP is British (I'm fairly sure I've seen OP 's posts before they are British - could be wrong though)
As for the man in dreads being white. Does it matter? Having face tatoos, whoever you are, tends to send a message. I appreciate this isn't the case in every country in the world, but in the UK it does.