Nursery have asked if my 4 month old is non binary.

[Jamtartforme]

Filling in paperwork for my son to start in the baby room in a few month’s time and the question is as follows:

Child Gender: Male / Female / Non binary

This is a form for children aged 3 months to 4 years.

I’ve asked my baby whether he feels comfortable in the sex he was born as but he declined to answer and then vomited on me…

Seriously though, should I challenge this? It seems absurd.

Cloud Atlas high five on the ocean/drops quote. I would question what it would mean if you chose non binary. Does it mean if you say male they will only give him the blue sippu cup and play with balls, if he is non binaru hell6be allowed to play with dolls too? Or what? The insanity!

If they did that en masse this would all stop. Down wind of this there are 16 year olds getting T from somewhere and tweenies on puberty blockers. It is worth thinking of that now. Those years will pass in a flash. Kids I knew from that age now mutilated their bodies, it breaks my heart and I have trouble not expressing the anger towards the adults who should be protecting them.

Please take a photo of the form for proof as I’m really hoping you’re on the wind up.

The singer Ne-yo has been forced to apologise and he’s apologised for causing any hurt but has stood but his opinion that a child is too young to consent to changing their gender.

His beliefs are the same as mine.
When you are an adult you can do whatever you want to but there is a reason there is an age limit of voting, sex, alcohol etc because people under a certain age cannot consent and make rational decisions that can affect their entire lives.

This should not be an option on a form because it is stupid and dangerous if the child needed to go to hospital.

I genuinely wouldn't use them. Sorry.

Having had a very free upbringing myself I thought it absolutely normal to allow one's children a free choice of colours, clothing, hobbies toys etc.

Both the nurseries they went to were, thankfully, lovely.

But primary school is different. I am thoroughly depressed by the way primary age children police gender. There's little difference between the ones from more conservative backgrounds saying "you can't like that, that's for girls" to the ones who may have been exposed to trans ideology saying "you've got pink shoes, so you are a girl". The result is the same: tiring, boring, excluding, regressive gender policing. Potentially very upsetting too, depending on how robust the kid receiving it is.

But I'm eternally grateful that my children were able to do 0-4 without this shit. And whilst gender policing children can be unhelpful, gender believing adults are potentially dangerous if they believe in childhood transition.

I really have no words. Is there a space ship leaving soon?

I’ve filled it in now so it has personal details on. I’ll get another. I’m not winding you up unfortunately.

Challenge it! Truly, the only way to get these organisations to wake up is to make as much noise as the TRAs.

Of course the nursery knows it's nonsense. They need the courage and the support to stand up and say so.

In all seriousness, OP:

They should have a sex question and then a gender identity question.

Sex must be either male or female. Gender can be whatever they like. There is no "non-binary" sex.

Knowing the child's biological sex is important for safeguarding. If there's no separate sex question that would be a massive red flag.

Knowing that biological sex is real, that it can't be changed and that there's no such thing as "non-binary" sex should be basic knowledge for staff. If staff seem confused about basic biology that would be another red flag.

(Before you say it, DSDs are medical conditions which occur in people who are either male or female and can be declared in the medical conditions section).

Honestly, that they even think that kids of this age can understand sex and gender identity really does undermine my confidence that they are competent working with children.

What nonsense. I agree that the world is going mad with this.

I had to answer if my son identified with the sex he was assigned at birth when I registered him at the GP. Online form and mandatory response was required, I couldn’t leave it blank or write anything it, just tick yes or no. He was less than a week old. Made me feel really uncomfortable

At least there is no chance of them transing him afterwards as it is now on record that he is cisgender. 😂

Vomiting in answer to the question sounds like he's gender critical to me. Has the form got a box for that?

Yes, an ocean is v definitely made of drops!. I would ask for an appointment with the manager and explain why this is nonsensical on one level & at worst has serious implications for children's wellbeing. I would want to know how they talk to kids about sex/gender/gender roles etc. Are boys & girls encouraged to play with all toys and NOT encouraged to think that a boy who plays with a doll is in fact a girl. How are the staff trained to deal with these issues etc. Only after that conversation would I go to Ofsted or the press if they are intransigent. I get that you want to tread carefully with an older child there but its incredibly important this this crap is not tolerated.

That's a great idea. If they did admit a non binary tot - care of transhausen parents of course, how is that being explained to children, because they will be learning about 'boys' and 'girls' in a basic sense, i.e. this is the language used.

If staff are introducing ideological concepts at the nursery it is thoroughly confusing at best and grooming at worst.

I'd investigate fully, have a frank conversation with them.

Well, yeah I’m pretty sure they’ve included it because some people have decided that they want to wait for their child to be able to tell them their gender (I think there was a celeb in the news for it but I can’t remember who now?).

I’m not sure how it works in practice… surely they’ll be confused when everyone else they meet/characters in books/TV know their gender but there’s is a mystery to them 🤷‍♀️

On any paper form I have been asked to complete, if it asks for gender, I always cross it out and write sex.

I'd be quite 'upset' about that form. Given 'older children' there are all of FOUR.

This insidious indoctrination must stop.

When I have to fill in forms for any of my children and they ask about gender , I always tick “ other “ from the options ( which are usually male / female / other / don’t want to say ).

Thats because none of them has a gender, only a sex. There’s never an option for “none” or non believer.

I’ve had some limited successes with this. I managed to get their school to agree that they would allocate bed rooms on a school residential trip by sex and not by gender ( as they had put on the form ). This is probably because they didn’t have an extra dorm for the kids who don’t have a gender or who identity as one of the 57 other genders not on their form.

I genuinely wouldn’t send my child to that nursery. Frightening.

Dear Prospective Parent/s.
Welcome blah blah blah.

You will notice our registration form asks the sex of your baby. This statistic is required by law.

We do not ask your child's gender identity.

All children will be afforded the same care and opportunity in order to explore their world. We do not believe in categorising people into identities such as genders. This is for the child to explore in their own time, at their own pace, not for any of us to impose.

I hope you share our value; look forward to blah blah blah.

🤷🏻‍♀️

Call their bluff and ask them how they will get all the other children to use the correct pronouns for your non-binary child.

And ask to see the policy on what constitutes transphobia if children misgender zem.

If someone in management is going to endorse this nonsense, then let's have it.

It's ridiculous. I would have to say something.

What a load of tosh. At 4 months, the kid doesn't even know it's a baby, let alone wondering what sex or gender orientation it has. What is the world coming to?

'Dear parent,

Unfortunately at this time we feel that your values do not align with the inclusivity we foster at Rainbow Unicorn Nursery, as we encourage each child to embrace their chosen gender identity, whatever it might be, and seek to promote inclusive, affirmative words and actions among all the children, thus we are currently unable to offer your child a place.

We wish you all the best. Blah blah blah.