Amanda Abbington and Strictly.

[PriamFarrl]

I never watch Strictly, but it seems that her being on it is causing some conflict.

I did a quick look but couldn’t see a thread.

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/tv/strictly-come-dancing-fans-divided-27466760?fbclid=IwAR1iNqoQHvU6tlsap3W1iWz7oG81Sp0Qimp81rzzd5XAU9fB4NLm_LgE47w_aem_AWkW94vOg0i7vw4ncasDUMNwbDACoxFIhz_Dsisy4LT9Nv0k-aEB-k7pqbT5hptMzeU#ll00z8fhy5yfgk5qz3

Not surprised this is the follow up to the ‘she wanted it’ type post. ‘But listen up, jury, years ago in an unrelated conversation with friends she said something of a sexual nature, so she totally asked for it in the workplace years later!’

Yeah whatever. Could have been completely avoided if the man in the workplace didn’t allegedly say he’d like to fuck her though. Just me?

also she was a very liberal user of the F-word, C-word and every other cuss word and used to be very proud of that… it used to make me uncomfortable as I’m from a culture where it would be highly disrespectful to use swear words. Inspite of this persona she used to project in public, she is a very thin skinned woman. She would always jump into contentious issues on her twitter with a single minded dedication to push her opinion… which is an admirable quality to have but she wouldn’t listen to any opposing views.. I have witnessed her get into spats upon spats with people who disagreed with her views.

The thing which really put me off her was her inciting pile-ons on anyone who had a negative opinion about any project she was involved in. Every time she was on a tv or film, she would search for tweets related to her projects and quote tweet them to her followers. What would follow was her thousands of followers going after that one person with a few hundred followers and insulting the person which often was worse than anything the original tweeter had said. There was an incident related to the last play she was in where all but two reviews gave a so-so review which other cast members ignored. But not Amanda… she directly tweeted one of the critics - a female one, that too, with a completely OTT response and then posted the whole thing to her followers. See this article written in response to Amanda’s behaviour. Link

In all, she is an extremely temperamental person and someone like that going on to a show like Strictly where she would be publicly critiqued every week… it’s Giovanni who I feel sorry for. I don’t watch the show as I’m not from UK and neither do I know him. I decided to post after reading all these headlines about her and it feels unfair to me that posters here are not doing any background research. Not all women are same and it would be good if all these incidents between men and women are judged on their own merit before deciding who is the victim and who is the perpetrator.

Exactly. And Binturongs, making a similar point, is absolutely right too.
She presumably knows Simon P well and each know what their relationship is like and how they talk to each other, informally, when having a laugh.

I don't know if you are being disingenuous or you really don't understand that. Either way, you need to think a little harder.

Ok, so you’re saying that all means she’s fair game for any man in the workplace? Just checking. Glad that you’re shocked by swearing but ok with ‘I want to fuck you,’ though.

Thanks for that very uncharitable reading of my posts 😒. I You do not know how Amanda responded to his comments but BBC does. And they saw it was consensual. Also the tweets were about Cumberbatch who was not in that conversation… I don’t see any outrage over that. Why not? Did she ask his permission to check if it’s ok to engage in making sexual comments about him on a public platform? Seems like different standards when it comes to women and men

The BBC upheld her complaints of verbal bullying and harassment. Upheld. As in, didn't think they were 'consensual' or OK.

Can you see a difference between her jokey conversation with a friend about another mutual friend, and someone she has recently met and is spending all day every day with, alone in a room, for work purposes, grabbing his crotch and saying, 'I want to fuck you now.' and grabbing his crotch?
Even if you can't, she clearly could, which is why she complained about it. Whether or not she 'knows very well how to respond to sexual comments', do you think she should have to, in the above-described situation?

That’s what you got from my post?? I doubt if you even read my post..and I think it’s YOU who is being disingenuous. So unless you are willing to respond in good faith to my points, I’ll choose not to further engage with you. Have a great day.

I think, genuinely, I was pretty restrained. We’re talking about alleged sexual harrassment in the workplace and you’re coming from the angle of ‘why it was ok.’

I would also be very careful too about taking the BBC, as the arbiter of what is appropriate sexual behavior in the workplace, too.

Quite frankly, yes. And no problem.

How do you know if Cumberbatch thought it was a ‘jokey’ conversation about him? You made a judgement call there based on your understanding of what is right and wrong. I personally hated the whole conversation and several cumberbatch fans were pissed off too and thought it crossed a line. I am not saying language like Gio used is ok at workplace… far from it. He crossed a line there but Amanda frequently crossed that line too and made people uncomfortable. It feels like they were well matched in that respect and I think she was disingenuous that she complained about vulgar language and claimed to be uncomfortable when she herself uses such language.

Yes, seriously. You actually don't have a clue in all honesty!!

I work for a very large organisation based in multiple occasions. I've come across situations where horseplay has either gone too far, or there's a falling out between two employees, and one then uses it as the basis of complaint about another. These people don't work in offices. We don't tend to find that sort of behaviour in office situations.

If Amanda was complaining every week and nothing was done - surely someone should be held responsible for that too?

However, there's a difference in him speaking inappropriately to be met with disapproval and disgust, and both of them exchanging inappropriate banter on equal terms. It sounds to me that the latter was probably the case, but when it all went sour she took umbrage with absolutely everything then.

Are you saying women ought to watch what they say OUTSIDE work just in case they end up in a situation like this Because men wouldnt be expected to do the same

Yes. We’re a step away from ‘but she was wearing a skimpy ballgown!’

Maybe it is just you. And nobody is "lambasting" anyone. I am just trying to be fair and not automatically jump to the defence of the 'little woman'. I am sick of women being protrayed as these weak little humans with no agency!

Most men don't tend to use that kind of language to a woman they know will object to it. Of course men shouldn't make sexual comments to women at work, but if she was coming out with sexual banter to him, well then you could see why he might do the same? It may well be the case that both of them spoke inappropriately!

A firm, "I don't like that sort of language" is usually sufficient to stop the behaviour, and then don't use it yourself either!

What a load of shite. Until I worked with actual humans who don't work in offices, I might have said the same. You would get your eyes opened!

Obviously I don’t know what he (might have) thought about it

I’m really not getting how a historic conversation between friends on SM means it’s fine for a dance partner (I repeat, in a work context and alone in a room for long periods) to make sexual comments and gestures.

Was she coming out with sexual banter to him?

I didn't know all of that, but I suspected as much! Someone who swears liberally in public is hardly going to rein it in while in private. Of course Gio should have known better but I think the one was probably as bad as the other. He most likely said what he said in the knowledge at the time that AA wouldn't be offended, but then she threw her toys out of the pram, and 'became' offended by everything.

Are the same people who are happy with Amandas historic social media being pawed through and held against her also ok with a womans phone history being scritinized and held against her if she is a victim of sexual assault.
Cos the principle is the same

It's not beyond the realms of possibility? Men usually don't banter in that way if they know the person will be angry/upset/disgusted?

What, out of interest, do people think made her ‘become offended’?

Yep There is no such thing as street harassment Men deffo dont do it if its unwanted 🙄

I was thinking exactly the same. Honestly, I salute women that report these situations because when you see what happens to them after, it’s almost as bad as the original offence.

And yet it’s not mentioned in the reports about the things said in the training room. They are all things Giovanni said.

I really would love to live in the world you're in.