Thanks Tinsel for all the hard work you do, and have done, and for opening our eyes to the reality of life for women whose husbands decide (unilaterally) to change gender.
The transwidowsvoices website is a valuable important resource. Anyone reading the stories of women and families destroyed when a husband and father decides to prioritise his desire to transition above the needs of everyone else cannot help but be struck by the similarities (often making the announcement at the most inopportune time possible - wife pregnant, new born baby, children preparing to sit vital exams) that run through the different accounts. Causing us to reevaluate all those news stories lauding the bravery of the person who has transitioned, with their family and the impact on their lives completely ignored.
The transwidows threads on mumsnet have been as important as any of the threads on the relationship boards. It beggars belief that women railing against the perfidy of their partners/ex-partners should be muzzled with the demand that they show more consideration towards the feelings of the person who has shown zero consideration for them.
Mumsnet provides a space where women can air their views, speak their thoughts and not be censored by men, in stark contrast to most other social spaces and structures, where men dominate discourse, shouting down or ignoring women's voices and ensuring that their own views and opinions are the only ones that get taken seriously.
I'm grateful to mumsnet for "allowing" us to continue the debate, albeit shunted off to the naughty step and without any way of knowing exactly what we can and cannot write, and what will be judged acceptable, and what will result in a deletion, warning or ban. I agree with all the previous posters who say they have self censored after being slapped down unexpectedly, especially for the crime of not being "in the spirit" which seems to depend completely on who is judging the post.
The IPSO guidelines have changed, the Cass report and Hannah Barnes' excellent book "Time to Think: The Inside Story of the Collapse of the Tavistock's Gender Service for Children", have confirmed everything women on here have been warning about for years, Mermaids is collapsing after repeated scandals, Stonewall is loosing influence everywhere and the LGB Alliance has emerged to protect the rights of lesbians, gay men and bisexuals. Important media figures like Andrew Neil have finally decided that it is safe to speak out in defence of confused and vulnerable children. The tide has finally changed so much that ambitious career politicians have judged it prudent to tone down their rhetoric and edge towards policies that seem (on the surface) to reality based.
I heartily agree that it's high time that the moderation rules for this board were changed. It really isn't fair on those of us who have trouble keeping within the never completely specified rules, and who end up not daring to take part in the discussion.
Transwidows especially must the same right as other betrayed partners, wives and ex-wives to give vent to their rage, to help each other recognise patterns of abusive behaviour, to organise to protect their spousal exit clause and the blow the crust of silence right off the cesspit they have been dropped into. Support threads should be judged more compassionately.