In a straight relationship but attracted to a woman

[Bruisesthatyouleftbehind]

Please go gentle. I have nc.

I have always been in relationships with men.

I met a woman recently and feel attracted to her.

We are friends and I think she senses it. Shes gay.

I'm so confused. I dont know what else to say.

Maybe this sounds ridiculous, but I just wondered if it’s partly a desire for a mother figure. Especially if you have a complicated relationship with your mother. But I don’t know you, so perhaps I’m way off base. I’m only suggesting it because you seemed to indicate that it’s just this one woman, and what you’re describing reminded me of a situation in my own experience.

On the other hand, it could be that this woman is the first of many attractions to women, and you’re bisexual. I imagine it’s confusing if it feels like it’s come out of nowhere.

I can’t comment on same sex attraction, but I noticed you said you’re in your thirties. Are you beginning to think about starting a family? Is there anything unconscious going on with you about the possibilty of children, perhaps an ambivalence which is showing up as interest in this woman? (Obviously lesbian couples do start families, but babies are much more ‘on the table’, socially expected and discussed, when heterosexual couples pair up in their 30s.)

I am a bit surprised that you are sexually interested in someone else so early in your relationship.

Is there something about her that you just long to be (as opposed to shag, I mean)

Or do you get legit fanny gallops?

Or of course, it could be both!

Either way, as pps have said, perhaps she represents something missing from your life. It could be a kind of support, a personal quality - or a relationship with a gorgeous woman!

It would give me pause about the new relationship with the bloke I think. You can't yet know how great he is really, its too soon, so tread slowly.