If you're non-binary...

[danyellspanyell]

What does it mean? What does it mean to you?

I'm not looking for GC responses to this - the GC take is obvious. I genuinely want to understand what this means.

This came up on my Instagram and the comments were full of people saying they have the same struggle and I honestly can't get my head round what it actually means to be non-binary, particularly if you're happy 'presenting' as a woman (which you biologically are).

What material impact does this non-binary-ness have on your life?

Why the eyeroll, though? Could you please describe the point/aim of NB? I am genuinely interested.

No. Using stereotypes which I'm going to ignore any questions about because I'm not Nb, they would say that non binary is just that. Not male, not female.

Gender non conforming is attributes that would be perceived as particularly the opposite sex.

I struggle with that for women, because I cant think of an item of clothing I cant wear as a woman.

For men its entirely different.

Interestingly, I wonder how many of these posters who claim gender isnt a thing would be perfectly okay with a man in a dress.

You're still not getting the difference between having personal beliefs and making everyone else go along with them.

The eyeroll was for the nobodycan change sex comment. It's so boring.

I will when you ask a direct question. Asking me the point of something you clearly disagree with is a waste of absolutely everybody's time.

And if you think people who have difficulties in life as a result of being trans is self inflicted, your a thin line away from being transphobic.

You wouldnt say that about anyone who had a difficulty under any other protected characteristic. But then we are back to the argument that people choose to be trans, which I personally dont believe.

Am I not?,
You mean like people who have decided they isnt a thing and is offensive and therefore wont use it? Or people who've decided they dont like nb as a concept so they wont respect it? Like that?

I am told I am gender non conforming - does that make me non binary??? I have no idea

No. Using stereotypes which I'm going to ignore any questions about because I'm not Nb, they would say that non binary is just that. Not male, not female.

Gender non conforming is attributes that would be perceived as particularly the opposite sex.

You being NB means you can't answer questions about stereotypes? How come?

GNC just means not conforming to your sex's stereotypes. It doesn't mean acting as the opposite sex.

No, you're still missing it.

I have asked you this direct question three times now. Very directly.

Can you please describe the point/aim of NB.

Thanks.

And they're entitled to that view. They're entitled to present and dress how they want and use they as a pronoun.

They are. They're just not entitled to make everyone validate them in their personal identity.

How people refer to each other in personal and intimate situations is a matter for negotiation between the two parties. It deends on the person, the nature and quality of the relationship, and the context.

Personally, I will not perform 'double think' maneouvres on myself, though.

How can you claim to be neither male nor female. That makes no sense at all.

I'm (Politically) Non Binary... for now. I don't have fussy pronouns because I don't want them nor do I seem to need them.

The sex of my body was defined at conception and observed at birth, it's not going to change, no matter what kind of identitation I get up to.

Personally, I will not perform 'double think' maneouvres on myself, though.

Me neither. Been there, done that, never again.

non binary is just that. Not male, not female.

Everybody is male or female. They may not want to be. They may not like it. But they are.

Sorry if you find reality boring. Reality doesn't care.

Perhaps you mean 'masculine' and 'feminine' rather than 'male ' and 'female'. But that just brings us back to stereotypes.

I will when you ask a direct question. Asking me the point of something you clearly disagree with is a waste of absolutely everybody's time.

So what on EARTH are you doing here?

No I mean what I said.

I didnt ask you to agree with it. I said that's how they identify.

Looking forward to the day when we look back on all this and… laugh (maybe).
If people are just articulating that gender ‘norms’ are bs then Good.
Can we redesign society please so this is no longer relevant?

I understand that, both parts really.

I'm not saying I'm a champion for NB. I'm explaining what it means. And that's what it means. People can disagree if they like and thats their right but you cant erase other peoples rights.

I personally find it sad that a woman would feel the need to be NB because she doesnt feel she conforms. I do.
But I've recognised that simply just telling people they just cant and that's it is entirely unhelpful.

I also feel that while women undoubtedly have more risks and all the difficult conversations that come with trans, physically, men suffer far more in the gender topic.

Being 'transphobic' is only a thing, though, if you accept the construct of 'being trans'; in the first instance. Personally, I see 'being trans' as a framing device: a way of constructing the self using a certain set of precepts.

You can be anything you want in the privacy of your own mind - but when you become involved in social relationships you have to negotiate a deeper and more consensual reality.

How do you personally explain detransitioners? The growing number of people who have been led to frame their struggles in such a way. and then have woken up and realised it was just another form of self harm, or an ultimately hopeless way of dealing with their human struggles?

non binary is just that. Not male, not female.

You do know they have a sex though? What's "non binary" about them exactly?

That would involve all working together. Wont happen in our lifetime.

Their gender

I also feel that while women undoubtedly have more risks and all the difficult conversations that come with trans, physically, men suffer far more in the gender topic.

In what sense?

Their gender

Personality then.

I once saw an interesting documentary following a group of young Amish people, doing a kind of gap year to see what the outside world was like before returning to their communities. The programme makers were obviously hopeful of some good telly moments of their being outraged by various Western decadence, but like many Americans they had exquisite manners. My favourite bit was when they were shown some particularly cringe street dancing. A young woman responded with devastating politeness, "but what's it for?"

I was minded of this with the fundamental question of "what is the point/aim of NB" remaining unanswered.

Good news, everyone who has ever lived is "non binary".