Does anyone feel less inclined these days to wear makeup and skirts or dresses due to the focus on femininity as what defines woman?

[Quietlyhere]

This is something I've noticed in myself. Never wore a lot of makeup but now, in an age of celebrating drag queens everywhere and defining women as those who are feminine, I am much more likely to be found in comfy trousers and t-shirts/jumpers, and no makeup. Still very much a woman.

Of course I'm not saying women should change, everyone should wear what they like as long as certain body parts are sufficiently covered up. Just an observation of my own choices shifting in this climate.

Dress
It's on this website

I think that may be what's causing the confusion

Rejecting femininity because you're not interested seems fair enough. But rejecting it because some men would like to pass as women is, in my opinion, giving them far too much headspace.

I never shave my legs pits or bits. I cba and no one sees them but DP.

I don't remember the last time I wore a skirt or dress. And I never wear uncomfortable shoes.

But. I love make up. I love the art of it - changing my face shape, emphasising lips today, eyes tomorrow, using contour to draw the eye where I want it to be. Thick thick mascara and false lashes because my eyes are steel grey and they look striking with decent lashes and eye make up.

Well plucked eyebrows, the better for raising.

I'm GC and have raised 2 dds to be as well.

No idea what that makes me.

I love wearing typically feminine clothes and if anything this has made me keener to embrace them, instead of covering up my female body. For me that is about wearing maybe a waisted dress and quite "classic?!" clothes. Hard to explain. You'll never ever find me in a body con dress haha. I've never been a make up, nails or hair person and definitely look very natural, but find these days I want to embrace and proudly show off my shape instead of covering it up. Or maybe I just got older, braver and more confident 😂 Proud to be female whatever it is.

Nor me.

Yes, but I work in a school and so mis-titling happens on a daily (hourly?) basis.

I don't usually respond to it. I think most of the time its a genuine mistake (in speech, not misperception), but on occasion it might have been a deliberate try to see what I do.

I don't get "sir" from normal grown ups, though as with the weird caution about a year ago some may have avoided gendered terms with me for a while. It's hard to know if that's really happening though?

Maybe if I was 15 years younger when I did look a bit teenage-boy sometimes 🤷‍♀️ I look pretty middle-aged-woman now!

It would have been helpful if you had explained the background and that you were interviewing trans women.

However even with that information I'm unclear what point you're making; at its most simplistic it seems to be that women shouldn't wear dresses because doing so validates trans women.

So we now have to stop being ourselves entirely because some blokes fancy trying to pass as us is that correct?

Even if I did not wear makeup and heels I could never be mistaken for a man. I do not have the physique of a man, I have very feminine features etc however I embrace my feminine looks and like to enhance them as I see fit to do so. I am currently sitting here with a full body tan on about to shower the excess of it off while I apply purple shampoo and conditioner to my highlighted hair and will shave all of my body hair off while doing so. This is something I do believe it or believe it not, for myself once a week. I love the feeling of looking a certain way and I have never even asked my partner his views on it. Clearly he likes it as he still finds me attractive but I have never asked his input into whether he has issue with the tan or the completely bald body etc as it is my body to do what I fancy with.

I'm almost 40 with greys I don't dye, so I don't look like a teenage boy. I could wear a boys size 14 so maybe at a distance, wearing a sports bra under a hoodie, maybe! However, this has happened face to face while giving my obviously female name in an obviously female voice to collect parcels. Not just one server either.

That’s not what PocketSand is saying, she was making the point that no matter what our own motivations are, those around us will potentially put great significance on how female people choose to dress, and if they have poor respect for women’s boundaries, they will even feel entitled to make demands on what female people wear. Some people do seem to have more feelings of entitlement than others.

It’s all very well to say ‘I dress for no one but myself’ but unless you live as a hermit, others will judge you in some way or other. That judgment will always say something about the person who is doing the judging. How we deal with this is up to us.

If you have a contrarian personality, you might enjoy dressing in unfeminine ways in the company of males who have strong feelings about how women ought to dress. Or you may choose to please these men. Or you may pretend there’s nothing going on but the trouble is, as many on this board know, what once is seen cannot be unseen.

Oh I know full well other people judge. I was told by someone last year who went to great pains to tell me she does not ever wear makeup that 'we will work on your self security' like I wear makeup because I am insecure in myself. I am not in the least. I do often leave the house without it on, it is not a suit of armour for me I just like it on me. Thing is I do not look at other people and judge them. I would not have even noted that womans bare faced look as it means nothing to me how other people present themselves. Maybe I am just far too vain and only think of myself lol

I've certainly been judged and made to feel unwelcome in the past because of how I was dressed. The people doing the judging were feminists.

How did you deal with it, Floisme?

I'm afraid I left in tears and never went back 

I can laugh about it now but it still pisses me off. I was only 18 or 19 and it was my first experience of a women's group.

And thank you for asking TheirEminence.

It always seems to be women knocking other women down. Sorry you went through that.

Quite, who gives a fuck what men say about what women should wear?

@Neverinamonthofsundays yes I hate this, often it's from women who like to also say women should wear what they want (although they really mean as long as it stays within what they deem as acceptable).

No to the question. I am eexperimenting more with make upthan before. I have had my brows microbladed and powdered ( i love it, its subtle and not the high arched look a lot of the younger women have) and im having permanent eyeline done in a few weeks.
I love wearing dressess and have AX Paris, Sondor
and Reiss dressess as my go to ones. I wear my hair long and highlighted with Ash and honey colours.
This is how I feel comfortable.

I wear make up if I'm in the house alone reading a book, doing house work or watching a film.
I don't want to change and it never occurred to me to do do.
I'm 58.

No I'm not having men, yet again, impact on how I feel about my appearance and how I dress and finally no, they look like men anyway.

Thank you for answering, Floisme. It sounds like you were at the receiving end of an upsetting and toxic group dynamic.

Aside from the very good reasons to dress/be as we want, I do think in humans there is a tendency to ‘hairshirtism’. When the world gets too much for us and we’re faced with too much choice, it’s, ironically, comforting to say, “I don’t do this” and “I don’t do that” and “I just this” and so on.

I think we’re all trying to find a way to really live and not just exist from our middle age till death. For some that means bring their authentic unadorned self. Others feel they’ve just existed and now want to go full on adorned, hence new interest in make up, clothes etc in middle age.

Thank you Neverinamonthofsundays and TheirEminence. I've shared that story a couple of times before on this board and this is the first time I can remember anyone acknowledging it.

The person I am inside and my body type are two quite different creatures. I have a very 'womanly' figure, involving large breasts and wide hips; though I do have slim calves, shoulders, back and neck - so my curves are balanced out my some slimmer, more 'elegant' physical features.

I dress according to what I think suits my body shape. If I had a different figure then I'd definitely be dressing differently to the way I do, which tends to be knee length skirts, vests and shirts. Aesthetics matter to me. In my mnd I am slim hipped and long legged with small breasts. Alas, not in reality.

Most of my life I've had short hair - and it is always my go to when I want to 'feel most like myself' I wear minimal make-up ( mascara/light eyeshadow). I get my eyebrows waxed and tinted - because they do make a differnce to the framing of the face - and they have gone white quicker than my head hair.

I get highlights twice a year - so that when the grey/white really does come through it will blend in more. I've always had pierced ears, and I love pendants ( stones of all type).

I move quite gracefully and due to my hips, I have a 'womanly' walk.

Cow is an approprriate username for me becaue physically I am quite bovine.