To me it seems more about the employee's experience rather than the paying customers'
I get that, GarethSouthgatesWaistcoat and I'm struggling with reconciling that too, if I'm honest. I do think it's good to normalise that boys can wear dresses (especially at Disneyland where many will want to) as I think that does help ease some of this gender distress that seems to be causing such misery in increasing numbers of children.
But on the other hand, the point of staff at Disneyland dressing up is to create a magical illusion for children (and adults!) of being in a fantasy world where the cartoons have come to life. Young children come away believing that they met the actual Cinderella, etc, which is pretty special when you're little.
And this might be my autism talking or it might be more common, but for me I think the disconnect is that men wearing dresses is jarring as it breaks that fantasy and brings you back to reality, where I then have to think "ok, so how is one supposed to handle this tricky situation, again?" and so for me, I'm shunted out of the fantasy world I was paying to experience to have this complex social demand placed on me that I need to navigate, which makes what should have been an enjoyable (and bloody expensive) relaxing family holiday far more stressful. I'm generally terrified of saying the wrong thing and being labelled transphobic, so I tend to avoid situations where it might occur nowadays as I find them too stressful to navigate. And then, I have to worry about whether my DC might say something inappropriate, and then if they do, what do I say in response to keep everyone happy without either potentially offending someone who does believe they were born in the wrong body and who experiences great distress around that or misinforming my DC by pretending that I believe that people can be born in the wrong body and that this man in a dress is actually a woman when I don't believe that and don't want my DC to grow up believing that either?
To be honest, I would just avoid that person if I were with my DC as it's such a social minefield and the whole thing evokes so much social anxiety in me (transphobia-phobia, if you will) that I'd rather just live and let live and take them over to the Buzz Lightyear shop instead to avoid the whole conflict.
And also when I saw this, I had to interrogate my own expectations about beauty and ask myself if I felt jarred by it because he doesn't look traditionally flawless like a woman in a dress and makeup playing that role at Disneyland would. Which is challenging, because he's wearing the same as the women and has probably made the same amount of effort with his makeup, but he still doesn't look like they would. Kind of like trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. So it makes me feel a bit sad for him too as his inner image of what he looks like doesn't appear to match his outer image, and even it does, this thought pops into my head anyway as that's how I interpret it because of the beauty standards we are fed as a society. I know that if he's happy looking like that then it's not my business to judge, but then who wants to pay to go to Disneyland to feel sad for the characters?
Also, I do find it quite sexist that Disneyland is purportedly so strict about its female actors' costumes, weight, behaviour, voices etc to maintain the illusion for visitors, but then they seem to ignore all of that when it comes to the male staff who can dress how they like. And not even all male staff, because the 'gender-conforming' men in Prince Charming costumes all have to be perfect too. How would it be if a woman decided they didn't want to shave their armpits and was walking round dressed as Ariel, for example? And if Disney's objection to that is that "it's about the customers' experience", then what is the justification here?
I wonder how much of my discomfort is around the fact that my immediate reaction is that if he isn't being mocking and misogynistic like a drag queen, then he must therefore believe himself to be a woman and be gender dysphoric, because these are the two types of men wearing dresses that we see in society at large (setting aside the kink angle and assuming this isn't anything to do with that). I've come to expect that men in dresses being respectful to women are wanting to be taken seriously as women, so I felt like there's currently no room in the narrative for respectful men who know they're men but who want to wear lovely dresses and fancy makeup. I feel like that's the missing piece of the puzzle that we need as a society at the moment to start to address kids' gender distress, and so I would want to be very cautious about objecting to any man who is modelling that behaviour as it's kind of what gender critical parents are teaching their children is exactly what IS acceptable (or at least should be).