Declining to put my preferred pronouns in my email signature

[HowDoIGetThisThingOff]

It's finally happened, I've been "told" to put my preferred pronouns in my email signature at work.

I've emailed back saying my preference is that I don't do this. But I'm feeling a bit anxious 😬.

Please can I get some advice on what to say if they come back with questions or pressure to comply?

@ArabeIIaScott I am liking these!

I have ignored the request from HR to provide my pronouns without explaining why, and not been fired.

I'm not happy, though, Merlin. Don't my feelings count?

You could have fun and change it on a daily basis, they can't actually say anything as it'd be discrimination, we can all self identify, there's no rules to say you can't identify as something different everyday. You could work your way through the list, there are 100s.

Thing is though does it matter? My name is unisex and I’ve been working since the seventies. Having a name that could be male and female has never caused any problems for decades yet suddenly my pronouns need to be advertised. Completely unnecessary.

@FutureIsSlim No, sticking an s on the end of her is short changing women. Men get 3 different words, we get two with an after thought of an s on the end.

Feel free to make up your own! Anything goes. Whatever supports you in feeling your best self. Be True to Your Self. Live, Laugh, Love. 😊

Actually, those would make a nice set.

live/laugh/love

I do love that especially if it causes inconvenience to others to have it altered daily.

Sex is real

gender is a social construct. Nobody is compelled to believe in gender.

if forced, I would say my pronouns were “I, Me and Mine”

if some people can use the third person plural, why can’t I use the first person singular?

This.

Ooh, I like it.

Or ethnicity. exactly.

Quite frankly I’m happy for people to hazard a guess that given my female name I’m a female. And if they think I’m a man that’s fine too. I actually couldn’t care enough

I think Merlin should “Be Kind” and “inclusive and welcoming” to middle aged women, who are uncomfortable with pronouns. How about it Merlin? Or is it hell fire for us?

Don't be anxious just do a big eye roll and a massive sigh and say you are busy doing some ACTUAL WORK to answer

I won't be using pronouns, but I like this phrase:

Call me anything, but don't call me late for my tea.....

Well if "being forced to use pronouns" was the worst thing about my job I'd consider myself very fortunate.

Or, if pushed, my pronouns are fuck/off

Has anyone said it's the worst part of their job? It's certainly not mine by a long way. I'm not doing it though.

I think preferring not to say what you prefer is a bit petty, to be honest. It's only so that people get it right.

Refusing to mouth a religious mantra because I don't subscribe to that faith is 'petty'?

There is plenty of evidence that using female names in CVs disadvantages women. Similar bias would apply for emails pronouns spelling out your female sex.

Interesting that, if you’re aware of sex-based bias within the workplace, @Girlboss1989 that you are willing for women that you manage (assuming that you’re a manager from your username) to be disadvantaged by signalling their sex. Likewise, happy for the men that you manage to be advantaged by signalling their sex. That doesn’t feel particularly equitable.

https://www.manchester.ac.uk/discover/news/four-ways-your-name-can-affect-your-job-prospects/

https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1211286

https://academic.oup.com/bioscience/article/63/5/318/229014?login=false

https://hbr.org/2020/03/research-to-reduce-gender-bias-anonymize-job-applications

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/A:1018839203698

I have my name. That’s how I would prefer you address me. You/yours is also acceptable. If I’m not there, call me what you want, I won’t know to be upset.

I agree. I have also ignored memos asking us to put pronouns in email signatures.

I'm female but I have a unisex name more commonly used for men.

Makes no difference to anyone in my line of work what my sex is. And as pronouns refer to gender which means fuck all these days, I don't wish to put something in my signature that I actively think is bullshit. I often get emails to Mr <surname> and I don't particularly care.

It's quite nice when I meet a male colleague in a meeting and see the shock on their face that I'm a woman.

Slight tangent but there’s a few older women at my work, close to retirement age, who’s email signatures contain whether they’re Mrs, Ms or Miss. No doubt as they view this as an important part of their identity and believe it’s worthy/useful to share with others

I do wonder if faux innocence and offering to do this as an alternative might work?! If they want to know how to address you adding Ms or whatever so they know you’re female would fully meet this goal.

But, of course, this is something that older women, rather than virtual signalling younger people do, so it likely wouldn’t be seen as an acceptable alternative.

I would personally just put She/Her and call it a day. I get people who say that it doesn't matter what pronouns are used, gender is a social construct all that but I don't want to be referred to as He when I'm obviously a woman. I don't personally see an issue but that is just me - someone said why do they ask that if they don't ask marital status, sexuality etc. I think it's because those won't have to be used in daily work life whereas pronouns are used every day. Everyone has pronouns so you may as well let them know what yours are.