Height Dysphoria

[zanahoria]

“Height dysphoria is a sense that your height is wrong, that there's a sense that you are too tall or too short,”

^www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/height-dysphoria-how-it-affects-transgender-people/^

We must be related. My gibbon arms were the only ones that could easily open the windows at work.

I thought exactly the same too. There seems to be a belief now that women can only present as super girly and ultra groomed when in reality in just the women in our extended family there's everything from that to women who wear sweatpants and never wear make-up. Both and everything in between are normal and none of them are more of a Woman than the others.

Quite possibly.

There seems to be a move to pathologise ordinary, universal but distressing feelings.

There seems to be this idea (maybe party because of social media) that any life that isn’t wholly happy and fulfilling = a condition that needs dealing with, usually with therapy or medication.

But most people are somewhere in the middle of how they feel about themselves, their jobs, their families, friends, bodies etc and that will change at different points in time. Anger, sadness, even fear are normal- when they are out of control it is a problem but not feeling “super awesome” about oneself all the time is part of the human condition and accepting that can help move into a happier existence.

There’s this blurred edge between serious conditions and ordinary crap times all mixed up with more pressure to look a certain way, feel a certain way and it seems to be making people catastrophise about things that do not need fixing.

Im not putting this very eloquently but I hope it’s understandable.

@ApocalipstickNow you are explaining it well.

It does seem that parts of society are very keen to take commonplace feelings and worries and amplify them so they can be treated as pathological. All while insisting this is being kind and ‘validating people’.

I cannot see how this could possibly benefit anyone feeling negative about themselves, their abilities or the bodies. Affirming a range of worries that people are perceiving as ‘failings’ is obviously harmful.

Obviously the medical, pharmaceutical and beauty industries have lots to gain from promoting this stuff. People who look at themselves without wanting to change, improve and perfect things (to match how they feel inside or want people to see them) aren’t going to spend lots of money on their products, are they?

That much is obvious. But it’s alarming how much purchase the idea that it’s important and kind to ‘affirm’ dysphoria of all kinds - and to position intervention to correct and change bodies as some kind of basic human right - seems to have gained in society.

@ApocalipstickNow

i think you’ve summed it up well.

I think there is a general trend of increasing introspection (all the mindfulness!) that encourages comparison of the self with an invented, idealised norm, which means everyone falls short at some point (no pun intended).

Oh, there's a name for what I've got! Wow! Since I was a toddler I've identified as 6'6" and the girth of a small cathedral, and it comes as such a shock every time I see myself in photos with normal height people and they are towering over me, or when I come home empty-handed because all the trousers and dresses in the shop are too long, or someone lifts me off the ground when they hug me. I've just been putting up with it for all these years, and even learned to climb up supermarket shelves to reach things on top.

I haven't been so happy since the day I first heard "demisexual". Do I get a special stripe on the flag?

Thank you Magpie and Squidward

I honestly believe there’s a whole generation that has grown up so addled with computer gaming, avatars, anime and the like that they actually believe that they can change their entire bodies to look like anything they want. Even if that's a 6-foot cartoon romantic hero with weirdly huge eyes and a massive buff 6-pack and flowing blue locks.

Add in the whole gender movement and its insistence on being given everything it demands, immediately (no debate!) in the manner of a tantrumming toddler, and you can see how and why this sort of thing happens. Reality becomes something they just cannot deal with any more on a normal level. There’s such an air of but whhhyyyy? Why can't I? It’s NOT FAIR!!! hovering over that whole article.

And of course, into the breach come the 'gender doulas', more than happy to part you from your money to explain that yes, poor you, it’s so triggering for you, and yes, reality is transphobic.

Would even cancelling reality be enough to make them happy, though, as being 'trans enough' seems to be a cause of endless grief and worry?

Many years ago, when I was young and first learned about transsexuality, I wasn't totally happy with every aspect of being female myself but I noticed that life isn't going to be a bed of roses for a five foot two inch bloke either.

Now I realise that instead of being a short woman with common sense, I could have become transmasculine with height dysphoria. I have missed out!

Perhaps there should be a,new ideology that all of these dysphoria could be put under within mental health/ psychiatry. Not sure what you would call it trans-attentive or trans-ordinary? The feeling that you are not getting the attention you feel you deserve or the fear or being more ordinary than you feel you should be? For the most part these seem to be either concious or sub conscious attention seeking behaviours. Your genetics and health control the height you are. I am six feet tall and was born at a time when stores only catered for 5ft 6 women, with relatvely short arms and with size 6 feet! Whilst I love my height it made for a difficult childhood and put a target on my back inside and outside of school.

I've talked about this before - I absolutely get treated differently to DH because of the impression I give because of physical size. Bigger women also get treated differently.

As a very tiny woman I get poorer service and less respect generally because you are a target for other people with their own fragile egos.

I know at times I have ended up trying to over compensate for this. Small women sometimes have to almost rottweiler like to even get noticed. You have to be doubly assertive. And it's draining.

DH now notices it and it stuns him. It's just tone of voice and stuff like that.

I can well see why it might drive desire to be a man. I've been there! The world isn't built for you.

But presenting as male just turns you into a small man - and small men don't exactly get it much easier. In fact I think the opposite. When I was in my late teens/ early twenties I hung out with a guy who was 5'2". I lost contact with him, but later found out he'd killed himself - and it was largely to do with the problems he had with his height (which included not getting GFS - he had GFS but he always ended up petted and friendzoned).

It's the shite about false promises and grass being greener again.

Can I get some context for this photograph? Is it a family? I'm puzzled.

I agree. There is something sad and worrying about the seeing so many people who cannot post a non perfect photo or who are walking around with deformed lips and expressionless face, to name a few disturbing features. Its really not healthy

Another thing that has changed is that 40 years ago I could say "only in California" and shrug it off. But nowadays what sells dodgy self-help books in LA is all over the Internet like a rash in seconds.

I’m young, tall and athletic myself, Raven. And of course stunningly beautiful. Just my body doesn’t quite match my vision! I must be trans-fabulous.

I thought the linked article had to be a spoof, till I read it.

The singers known as ‘castrati ‘ in the golden age of Handelian opera were famously very long legged. There’s a well known etching of Farinelli in performance but it is clear from portraits of other singers of the era too.

You are all being very rude and un affirming about this serious article. I would like to draw your attention the subheading which clearly states:

Medically Reviewed
Our stories are medically reviewed and medically fact-checked by board-certified specialists to ensure that all factual statements about medical conditions, symptoms, treatments, procedures and tests, standards of care, and typical protocols are accurate and reflect current guidelines as well as the latest research.

😂And this is even before AI takes over the world.

Yes it probably does follow standards and guideline. Which doesn't say much for the standards of care.

The existence of guidelines and standards does not imply these are the right guidelines or standards.

I could write a set of guidelines and standards for electrical safety. But they’d be actively dangerous (not just useless) because I have no business doing any such thing.

At the very least, specifying exactly which guidelines and standards would allow readers to make evaluate them and consider whether content written to those standards is of sufficient quality. Waving around vague, unspecified ‘guidelines’ is little more than misdirection.

It’s like describing something as ‘natural’. The fact that something exists in nature does t make it good for you. Uranium is natural. But you shouldn’t slather it on your face.

Isn't this more about the world being designed and built by and for men (who, statistically, tend to be taller not accounting for some ethics differences)?

Iirc, it's said to be from an Israeli gender clinic.

I don’t get it? Surely everyone wants to be taller than average for their sex/gender? Women want to be 5ft10 like supermodels and men want to be at least 6ft. Wanting to be taller is a universal experience for like 85% of people.

No, no - this is different. This is something that only Brave and Special people feel.

Jeezus fuck…

When are people going to realise that life is hard? It’s supposed to be hard. It’s an essential trait of human existence that is result of our evolution. Every single human on the planet has to overcome something, be that a physical trait they’d change, a life experience, whatever it may be. It’s bloody universal FFS. Even people born wealthy or privileged still have shit going on in their lives, because that’s what humans do. Show me a person who is completely happy, completely content with their body and completely missing any negative experiences in their lives they’ve had to overcome and I’ll show you a liar.

Just because you don’t like your height it doesn’t mean you have a dysphoria. Just because you’re worried about something it doesn’t mean you have an anxiety disorder. Just because you don’t like being around people it doesn’t mean you’re on the autism spectrum. Just because you like things done in a particular way doesn’t mean you have OCD. And so on. This endless need in young people to have a label, and talk about the label, and build their entire existence on that label is so detrimental to society as a whole, not to mention undermining of those with genuine deep-seated mental health issues.

What these people are experiencing is normal modern day human existence and they think they’re discovering and inventing thinks at the same rate and magnitude of Thomas bloody Edison FFS, instead of actually living their lives.

YOU’RE NOT FUCKING SPECIAL. DEAL WITH IT. Life will become so much more enjoyable if you make peace with the fact you’re no different to anyone else.

Does anything which could affect anyone always cause more distress to a transgender person?