Work DEI response: single-sex toilets

[ToriaB]

Excerpted response below from my email to the head of DEI where I work; my question and his answer.

Tempted to respond by saying "Humans don't change sex".

Just to confirm – does this mean that [this higher education institution] are no longer offering single-sex facilities at the study centres?

No – there is no change to our facilities, [the higher education institution] are continuing to provide single-sex facilities. Trans men may use male designated toilets and Trans women may use female designated toilets, as is our current policy. We are also investigating the possibility of our accessible toilets broadening their scope so that they may be used as a gender-neutral, single-lockable space.

They are soooooo out of order with that last email @ToriaB

im not sure what to advise because it’s obvious they are so closed to the actual law that any attempt eg a grievance procedure would just be shut down.

I think the suggestion to meet with a Muslim students group, and maybe also a Jewish students group if there is one - major cities such as London, Birmingham and Manchester have substantial groupings of Jewish students. Explain the consequences of tis policy for them and see what they say.

My workplace (a university) is completely captured in exactly the same way. It starts with a confusion of sex and gender and descends into a muddle from there.

But I have to shamefacedly admit I don’t have the energy to fight it. I had to have several interviews with our HR Director when I was under investigation for transphobia and I know how ignorant of the issues this person is.

We ❤ you Victoria.

So “individuals” are protected by their policy but 50% of the student /staff cohort have been sold down the river!

Only individuals with special identities.

There is no bloody shame in setting boundaries for yourself. It sounds like you've already been through the mill. 'investigated for transphobia' - what a chilling phrase. Take care.

So now they're resorting to threats - see last paragraph.

How very typical.

Yes, the MRA handbook - they think it's fine to threaten women. It's all about letting men do whatever they want and stuff women and girls.

Bloody hell, they really don't have an argument, do they? How are they not professionally embarrassed by the "la la la we can't hear" response?

"We typed some emails that deliberately misunderstood what you were asking, what MORE do you want? An actual response that engages with what you've actually raised?! Like that's ever happened! "

Any chance of asking "just so I am clear, you are happy to state publicly that your policy is that sex and gender are the same thing?" - seeing as they refuse to differentiate.

Racist ablist twats.

Thank you Victoria and the other poster taking it up with their workplace.

They've said I can approach anyone I want to, so am tempted to write to the Muslim Council of Britain for their input.
That last paragraph from them is very "beware you will be judged for your terfish bigotry", isn't it?

I'm so angry that they keep fobbing me off with "our toilets are single-sex" and that the policy is to treat individuals with "dignity and respect" unless they're women. They haven't answered any of my questions and the only option they are open to is a physical meeting which I don't want without a representative. I can't have someone from the union because I left UCU in disgust.
There's a link elsewhere on the intranet in the section about being a trans ally which goes to a report calling Sex Matters a hate group, so I suppose that's why they specifically reference not sending them information from SM.
There's none so blind as will not see, eh?

Sorry to hear you're in this situation as well. Do you have any support from colleagues at your institution? Universities are in a real mess.

At what point will they allow you to be accompanied to a meeting? And by whom? If not by a solicitor, then would it have to be a work colleague, or could it be a friend or relative? It would help if you could take someone who understands this stuff and who can take a near-verbatim note of what's said. You might also consider recording the meeting.
You could consider bringing a formal grievance, on the basis that they are lying to / gaslighting you? Personally, I'd find it very difficult to work for people who did that to me. It might arguably be a breach of trust and confidence, leading to a possible constructive dismissal / potentially a discrimination claim. Are you able to get legal advice? An opinion from a specialist barrister might be the right way to go, and no doubt Sex Matters could recommend someone. Maybe you could crowdfund for that, and it shouldn't be too expensive just for a one-off piece of legal advice at this stage. Obviously though, you will be thinking about your personal position here. That is probably what they are counting on.
🐈I hope you have one of these to stroke - important to try to de-stress.

It would be bloody great if you could take Maya with you 😍

Or Naomi Cunningham. She would be ace. Or Ben Cooper!

Is there anyone you could take with you, OP?

Just to sound a note of caution here, OP, please don't risk your job and livelihood. I read that email as threatening, whether politely or not. I think if you go any further with this, your time at this institution will come to an end.

You are completely right and it must be hard to "give up" but can you afford to lose your job and if blacklisted, future jobs? Only you can decide - I would take some time to think about what you want before making another move. Good luck!

I’d suggest caution too. The last Feminist meeting I went to highlighted that it’s better to keep your job than have to fight through the courts. Is it bullying? I’d say so.

There is the Free Speech Union, although not a Trade Union, might be able to supply a rep?

@ToriaB I agree with pp, the threat in the last paragraph is clear. They have dug in their position and it will take something seismic to shift them.

Sometimes you need to know when to retreat and think of alternate ways to achieve the long term goal.

There will be further developments in this area such as Jo Phoenix’s ET, the outcome of Maya’s compensation, the guidance for schools, the LGBA/Mermaids judgement, the For Women Scotland case etc.

These may provide an opportunity to raise the issue again, pointing out the reputational risk of their policy. Keep a timeline with evidence, this will allow you to clearly demonstrate they were fully aware of the implications of their decision.

I agree with this too. It's very easy for other posters online, with the best of intentions, to encourage you to escalate.

Whilst I am endlessly grateful to those women who have taken this fight to the top, it's so important that that's a decision carefully considered - both in terms of whether it's at all winnable, and in terms of the enormous personal cost.

Have you approached Sex Matters @ToriaB ? They may be able to advise you - they must get so many women contacting them in a very similar situation and Maya (and the SM lawyers presumably) will be able to advise on the best way forward. Also, it is a personal decision in terms of how much risk you can face because the risks to women who speak up are not insignificant.

Thank you for everything you have done. The attempted bullying and silencing tactics you are being subject to for reasonable questions is really upsetting to read.

If I were you, I'd keep a record of everything and contact Sex Matters.

Universities have a lot of culpability for the sterilisation of children and dismantling of safeguarding and I'm at the point where I actually want a lot of humanity subjects to be de-funded and more funding to go to actual, experimental, fact-based science and medicine departments instead. Queer theory has caused so much harm to children.

(bloody shit grammar on that response as well)

@ToriaB I know I advised you to retreat but I would be tempted to send three links:

• Maya Forstater - https://www.forstater.com/discrimination-costs/
• Denise Fahmy - https://didlaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/Fahmy-judgment-2.pdf
• Essex School girls - https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2023/06/28/essex-schoolgirls-sexually-assaulted-gender-neutral-toilets/

Simply say getting the Equality Act wrong can be costly, embarrassing and a safeguarding fail for organisations. All I am trying to do is make sure x institution’s reputation is not damaged.