Young adults who identify as asexual feel excluded from the wider LGBTQ community

[IwantToRetire]

From a survey of 3,695 young adults aged 18-25 27% said they “rarely or never” feel a part of the LGBTQ community. Aside from those who said they were questioning their sexual or gender identity, asexual people were most likely to say this.

18% said they “rarely” felt included and 9% said they “never” felt included.

30% of asexual young adults said they “always” feel included and 30% said they “sometimes” feel included.

39% of asexual people of colour said they rarely or never felt part of the LGBT+ community, compared to 24% of white asexual young people.

It’s also estimated that between 0.44-1 percent (295,768 to 672,200) of the UK population identifies as asexual.

The data paints a disappointing picture that suggests a significant portion of young adults identifying as asexual don’t always feel like they’re a part of the LGBTQ community.

“I hope that this research makes clear the need for greater awareness of the lived experiences and realities of asexual people, especially as we can see a wider pattern here of LGBT+ people of colour feeling excluded from our community.”

https://www.attitude.co.uk/news/a-quarter-of-asexual-young-adults-feel-excluded-from-lgbtq-community-430087/

Is this like being vegetarian but wanting to be part of a food appreciation society for carnivores?

Ha ha, true. If someone has no interest in sex, why would they want to be part of a sex based community ?

Is this because some people like to play the victim for not being included?

If you’d asked me at that age I would’ve said lesbian because I had a massive crush on the female maxillofacial surgeon who rebuilt my jaw and replanted my teeth after a childhood accident.

A year or 2 later, I definitely fancied boys 🤷‍♀️

Too many people don't seem to accept that others can be different and they prefer that people keep quiet about their difference.

Too many people don't seem to accept that others are just not that interesed in their differences.

That's the essence of it.
"I demand you accept my differences".
"Yeah, sure, it's all fine, I'm not that interested either way".

"How fucking dare you suggest my differences don't make me extra interesting and SPECIAL!!"

My DD is asexual. I don’t know if she feels excluded from the LGBT+ community because I have never asked this question. She has said, however, that she would have felt more normal growing up if it had been acknowledged in sex and relationships education that not everyone experiences sexual attraction and that asexuality exists. It’s not the same as being single or not wanting a relationship (I have been single for ten years, I am not asexual). It’s surely possibly to recognise that point without all the negative comments.

Why couldn't you have explained it to her?

It meant that the girls were trying to avoid the boys and most weren’t ready for relationships as the ‘lads’ culture meant anyone in a girl-boy relationship was teased relentlessly. Also meant that you could announce an identity on Instagram/Snapchat and everyone would gush at you for 5 minutes. By sixth form it had all settled down and the ‘united waving flag colours of identity’ were a small vocal group most people avoided but were kind to. The gay pupils mostly avoided that group too. It made me laugh (inwardly) the other day that one of the vocal group was talking about her year 8 sister’s he/him pronouns and rolling their eyes saying how silly it was. I nearly said what are your pronouns now then but we got onto a good conversation about women in STEM instead.

This is why ultimately the gender ideology wave will crash in on itself as the demographic that have been badly affected can see it for what it is.

My DD is asexual. I don’t know if she feels excluded from the LGBT+ community because I have never asked this question

I don't understand why she'd be included though. If she's not interested in women and she's not trans then that's not her group.
(Not that I think T should be with LG in the first place but that's not the subject of the thread).

She has said, however, that she would have felt more normal growing up if it had been acknowledged in sex and relationships education that not everyone experiences sexual attraction and that asexuality exists.

Why should it be the school's role to discuss private matters like sexual attraction. Surely it's more appropriate to discuss any such feelings privately with your partner or possibly family?!

Too many people don't seem to accept that others can be different and they prefer that people keep quiet about their difference.

People can be as different as they like. They can enjoy singing, sex with whom ever, whatever.

Other people do not care though.

Because it was not on my radar, it was never explained to me. That’s my point. Sex and relationships education assumes that people are sexual. Our culture assumes that people are sexual.

Schools do teach reproduction and have relationships education, so you could say that about any such lesson. If it is going to be taught, then it should be clear that there is heterosexuality, homosexuality and asexuality - in an age appropriate way of course. My DD got taught how to put a condom on a banana - why should that be taught in a school? What assumptions are being made there?

Schools do teach reproduction and have relationships education
So what? Why should that have to be qualified with an Of course, a lack of interest in this is ok?

It was the question quoted in the OP, this is the only reason I mentioned it. I don’t have a view on whether she should be included or not. It’s not up to me - nor many of the posters on this thread, I think, who are just using it as an excuse to make negative comments.

Well, a lack of interest could simply mean being bored that day, I think. It’s not really the same thing. Why not discuss heterosexuality, homosexuality and asexuality if you are doing sex education? The world won’t stop spinning if teenagers know 1-2% of the population are asexual, any more than it will stop spinning if they know some people are gay.

My DD got taught how to put a condom on a banana - why should that be taught in a school? What assumptions are being made there?

My assumption is that they’re trying to educate to prevent teenage pregnancies. Most people are straight, so it stands to reason that this is a valuable lesson.
The problem has begun when various identities have decided to take offence at being taught broad life skills, and feel invalidated because they’re expected to learn something that doesn’t apply specifically to them. Education doesn’t and cannot work like that.

Exactly this. I was really confused when I was a teen (I'm 41 now) as I didn't know asexuality was a thing so I wondered what was wrong with me. They should teach about it in sex education.

That STDs and pregnancies are preventable?

According to the various definitions asexual people do have sex so presumably you don’t want asexual people to catch STDs?

It's absolutely 100% normal for teenagers to have no sexual desire. Some do, others don't. So what the hell was confusing you back then? It is way, way, way worse to allude to teenagers that a perfectly normal lack of sexual desire makes them somehow other. How utterly selfish and self serving to think otherwise.

Yeah, this. I've thought about the friends I've had over the years and discovered I really dont have any idea if they are/were asexual.

Its not something I would bring up in any conversation (mainly cos I just dont care about others sex lives or lack of) i dont see why they would feel the need to tell me. It wouldnt change our friendship, so no reason for me to know.

I was confused as every one of my friends fancied people and I never did. Who you fancy is a big topic of conversation for teens. Plus, everything you read in magazines at that age was focused on relationships and sex, so naturally you are confused if you don't feel that.

I was confused as every one of my friends fancied people and I never did.

same here. Turned out I was just a late developer.

yes, teens should absolutely be taught that lack of interest in sex is normal, and in some ways I’d probably have been glad to have an “asexual” identity to hide behind during those years. But there are real problems with promoting the idea that it’s a form of “queerness” or that it should be celebrated with a flag (it should not be a big deal!) or even worse, that it’s normal to have sex with people you aren’t attracted to.

If the concept of “asexual” gives young women who need it some protection from porn culture I’m all for it, even if there’s something rather precious and silly about it . My concern is that the concept has been corrupted, or perhaps “queered,” to the point where it can be used to pressure people into bad sex instead of being used as a shield against it.

I’d probably have been glad to have an “asexual” identity to hide behind during those years
I don't understand how portraying it as an "identity" would have changed anything for you??

Being a late developer isn’t something teens tend to feel great about. Identifying as asexual would have relieved the sense of pressure and the sense of not being “normal.”