What do transgender women/girls think it is to be a man?

[ValuePartnership]

I have tried and tried in every place to find out what exactly it is (specifically) that makes women, and especially girls, feel they are "really" men? Does anyone have any idea? I am a man and would love to know what, apart from some very general conviction (asserted but never made specific); wanting to wear male clothing; wanting male "body shape"; represents becoming a "man" to trans women (or girls). Such ideas are supposed to match the reality of having a male identity. I do not have any supposed cis-gender identity, but I know what things have been central to living as a boy and then a man - and it's nothing like anything I have read about trans men. I never thought being a man depended on others seeing me as man; I never thought about my body shape; most of the clothes I wear (and have always worn) are very ordinary and could just as easily have been worn by a woman. The big big deal for me all my life (I am in my 60s) has been the way I experience sexual excitement and arousal: my body will register it (and sometimes against my wishes) through penile erection; the next has been the experience of orgasm deep in my body (prostate gland); then how vulnerable to attack (friendly or violenbt) by other males, or my own clumsiness, my testicles made and make me. Only then came comparisons - I was aware of, generally to a high degree, being taller and stronger than females. Finally, I learned that I could become a father (with a growing realistion I was expected to do so); that I had a distribution of body hair (more than some other men and less than others) that affected my appearance. It seems to me that even if you think you are a man, you have no idea what being a man is like unless you are one. Hence nobody ever says. Anyone able to help with ideas?

I came across the term 'pick me girls' for the first time recently and it explains a lot about stuff that happened last year elseboard.

I feel very sorry for young girls - it's never been an easy life-stage to be female, but it seems particularly bad now.

I think "pick me girl" is a bit like "cool girl" but with an added element of social aggression.

I do feel very sympathetic for all the girls identifying as boys. I think they are using the only tool they see as available to them to try and opt out of a system which is stacked against them. The girls who do conform to feminine behavioural and beauty standards are suffering under the same system, but their compliance gives them a certain superficial level of power over the other girls (and some boys). In the back of their mind they all know their luck will run out soon. Hence the hatred (fear) many have for older and non-compliant women.

Or at least that's my view of it all anyway.

I was the same. I think many many girls are. To become a man means to become taller and stronger. To become a woman means to grow wobbly and bleed. Girls numbers in sport fall off a cliff when they enter puberty - not because they’re lazy but because of puberty. The emphasis there is changing at least from public competing and team changing-rooms (which many girls grow to hate) to just enjoying running, swimming, keeping fit, the gym and being in the fresh air.

Most girls begin to embrace their bodies when they decide they want children. But before that, so many go through a period of self-loathing.

@ValuePartnership "It seems to me that even if you think you are a man, you have no idea what being a man is like unless you are one. Hence nobody ever says. Anyone able to help with ideas?"

OP in my lesbian group about 10 years ago there was one woman wanted to transition to a man. She spoke about it constantly.She was the most ghastly caricature of male stereotypes; a real male chauvinist pig. Ugh!
I had a very macho father (big game hunter) and he respected and valued women.

Interestingly the rest of the butch Lesbians were total marshmallows; they may look masculine but were very sweet: all woman.