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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Trans woman threatened with physical violence by 'TERF'

90 replies

wontbesilencedbyyou · 27/03/2023 22:05

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11868077/SF-woman-threatens-punch-transgender-TikTok-star-expletive-filled-tirade-caught-video.html#reader-comments

Sharing this here as I feel it's important to see both sides on a forum like this, where there are many articles shared about scenes getting nasty at protests, and I haven't seen anything about it yet. Lilly was accosted whilst literally just eating a salad and live streaming.

My opinion: It's sad, and makes me fearful for the future.

San Francisco transgender woman is verbally assaulted while eating

Lilly Contino was enjoying her food at the Union Square, San Francisco restaurant when the elderly woman sitting at a nearby table spit transphobic comments at her.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11868077/SF-woman-threatens-punch-transgender-TikTok-star-expletive-filled-tirade-caught-video.html#reader-comments

OP posts:
Brefugee · 28/03/2023 11:41

lots of women call themselves TERFs. That's neither here nor there.

PP made the point already: we are not gloating about this. We are saying that there is no need for this kind of thing to happen and it's not right.

Pouring soup over someone and screaming at them? hahaha fucking TERFs deserve it //dance dance//

RosaBonheur · 28/03/2023 12:43

Unpopular opinion: I don't care about this or think it's anything to do with me.

The fact that people like me have been labelled TERFs (which is essentially a derogatory term for uppity women who won't do as they're told) does not mean I am one or that I have anything to do with the woman whose voice is heard in the video.

She sounds like a confused old woman who is probably not quite right in the head and may not even understand what a TERF is. Nobody knows what experiences she may have had in her life to form such views about trans people. Perhaps she's had a traumatic encounter or two. Perhaps she really is just a bigot. Either way, Lilly Contino clearly didn't feel remotely scared or threatened, and appeared amused by the whole situation. Probably thinking, "This will be great content for Tiktok!"

Do you really think that somewhere on a trans forum, a group of trans people are discussing the fact that one of them actually assaulted Posie Parker, just for balance? I doubt it.

LaviniasBigBloomers · 28/03/2023 13:05

Broadbeachshallow · 28/03/2023 11:14

Any woman can sympathise with Lilly being insulted while just trying to (insert normal daily activity here).

I won't presume Lilly's sexuality, but I do think many TW are shocked by the hate they get once they are no longer straight white men. Because they just never were on the receiving end of threats/insults/violence on the basis of who they fundamentally are. And it's a radical change in perspective.

And all the black/female/gay/Asian, etc onlookers are like: yeah. Well. That's just what happens. Pretty routine. Unacceptable, yet widely accepted.

100% this.

RosaBonheur · 28/03/2023 13:17

KookaburraSits · 28/03/2023 13:09

Do you really think that somewhere on a trans forum, a group of trans people are discussing the fact that one of them actually assaulted Posie Parker, just for balance? I doubt it.

They're discussing it with sheer joy, not "for balance."

https://www.reddit.com/r/transgenderUK/comments/1214ej5/i_know_the_terfs_will_twist_this_but_im_so_proud/

https://www.reddit.com/r/transgenderUK/comments/12146l7/for_anyone_still_following_uk_terf_kellie_jaykeen/

Well, yes, they are doing that.

So if we were on this thread all whooping for joy and saying, "Woohoo, well done that lady! You tell that horribly * where to go! I wish she actually had punched him!" that would be the equivalent of what they are doing.

We aren't doing that.

I said I don't care about this incident, and I don't. Not because I support people who randomly abuse trans people in restaurants, but because as others have pointed out, there isn't a woman, gay person or ethnic minority on earth who hasn't experienced far worse than this at some point in their life. It's a very run of the mill fact of life for just about everyone except privileged white males.

When trans activists stop literally assaulting women who are just trying to speak out about women's rights, when there are no more male prisoners in women's prisons, when trans people are campaigning for third spaces and their own sporting competitions so they won't be encroaching on women's, when female rape survivors can access single sex support without being called bigots, when "progressive" politicians have stopped calling women bigots and dinosaurs and "TERDs" simply for wanting to have their own spaces and not have to share them with any male who demands access, maybe then I will have the emotional bandwidth to care about a trans person being verbally abused by a mad old lady in a restaurant on a completely different continent.

nilsmousehammer · 28/03/2023 14:35

This weekend has proven: this is not a movement with the capacity for ethics, morals, rationality, boundaries or sanity.

I honestly expect nothing better than the gleeful infantile 'whoopee, smash, go me, rape and kill' sociopathy. It's about the same amount of reaction I'd now give Foul Ol' Ron with 'Buggrit, Millenium Hand and Shrimp'.

What has to happen now is that this kind of behaviour is stopped.

SinnerBoy · 28/03/2023 15:50

@RosaBonheur

Either way, Lilly Contino clearly didn't feel remotely scared or threatened, and appeared amused by the whole situation.

That was certainly my impression and not the ridiculous hyperbole about assault. I agree that the old lady seemed to be in the wrong, but who knows how it began? The video starts in the middle of the exchange.

I'm sure that most people would brush it off, even if they were offended, like the filmer.

Florissante · 28/03/2023 18:07

What? Lily Contino miss a chance to play the victim? That will never happen.

EpicChaos · 29/03/2023 03:24

It bears a remarkable resemblance to Dame Evadne Hinge, to be fair!

MysteryBelle · 29/03/2023 04:07

That is a man dressed up as a woman, we all know it, and it’s because the left who control most of the political, corporate, media and entertainment complexes are pushing ‘trans’ as the trendy thing. They have agendas and trans ideology and steering children and young people are a part of those agendas.

MysteryBelle · 29/03/2023 04:08

Meant to add, they also control school curriculums.

Somanysocks · 29/03/2023 04:08

Cute dog.

Bosky · 29/03/2023 05:15

Is the purpose of this OP to persuade us that there is some sort of equivalence between these two events?

March 10
SAN FRANCISCO -- "A San Francisco trans woman was ^verbally assaulted* by a 70 year old woman"
(somewhat tipsy-sounding "verbal assailant" was ejected by management who were called by said TW - and it possibly didn't even happen as alleged)
https://www.cbsnews.com/sanfrancisco/news/hostile-anti-trans-encounter-san-francisco-caught-camera/

March 25
New Zealand - A 72 year old woman had her lights punched out, with video evidence of vicious physical assault and injuries resulting. No "provocation" could possibly justify this ACTUAL physical assault.
https://twitter.com/Sorelle_Arduino/status/1639988067900481536

Anyone who thinks there is any equivalence between the first and second scenarios is beneath contempt.

YouJustDoYou · 29/03/2023 05:56

Men don't usually get abuse so when they do, in whatever form they chose to live as, it shocks them and they are "horrified" and have to post about it. Sadly, women are all too used to such verbal abuse.

YouJustDoYou · 29/03/2023 05:57

Somanysocks · 29/03/2023 04:08

Cute dog.

I love little dogs like that. Felt sad when the drunk woman insulted it :(

Justcallmebebes · 29/03/2023 06:36

Tontostitis · 27/03/2023 22:14

Smells like bs to me

Absolutely. This has set up written all over it

Autienotnautie · 29/03/2023 06:55

Yes I dislike the narrative that tran people (primarily trans women) are bad. Some people are bad and really how they identify is irrelevant. What happened there is wrong, the shooting in America is wrong, women being raped in hospital is wrong. Society ie politicians/law/ law enforcement needs to do better at protecting us (especially women as we are undeniably more at risk) from bad people .

Florissante · 29/03/2023 07:03

Autienotnautie · 29/03/2023 06:55

Yes I dislike the narrative that tran people (primarily trans women) are bad. Some people are bad and really how they identify is irrelevant. What happened there is wrong, the shooting in America is wrong, women being raped in hospital is wrong. Society ie politicians/law/ law enforcement needs to do better at protecting us (especially women as we are undeniably more at risk) from bad people .

Yes. A person recording a spat in the restaurant the equivalent to women being raped in hospitals.

Good grief.

nilsmousehammer · 29/03/2023 07:34

Look, pattern recognition is not some social crime. It's a necessity in terms of safeguarding. If that messes with your nice liberal values, then perhaps it's time to take another look at the reality of those values, because blunt denial that 'I am not looking at the patterns at all because ick' is as unhelpful and prejudiced as 'I've spotted a pattern and am labelling an entire group by it'.

Grown ups can talk about and respond to information without going tribal, picking sides and shouting at everyone else.

Autienotnautie · 29/03/2023 08:54

@Florissante it isn't the same . I really hope you know that. Giving examples doesn't mean everything is the same. For example I could give examples of different shoes I own. The shoes are not are the same, the quality differs, comfort level , and price. They are not the same . Does that example make it easier for you to understand?

My point is bad people doing bad things is the issue and an eye for an eye is an appalling reaction. The majority of trans people are not bad. Another thing that is problematic is identity, currently anyone can switch identity pretty much on a whim and within that there's a risk of that being used for bad ie men saying they are women to access women's spaces to do harm. That's what needs to change not trans people .

Silverperch · 29/03/2023 09:01

Not to pull rank but my teenage niece, who has been shut in her room for months, got herself back to school recently and was flashed by a man on the way home, right near her house.
My heart hurts for her because she has a lifetime of this ahead as a human in a female body. She certainly didn't have the foresight to film it, and is far too traumatised to post about it on social media.

CuriouslyDifferent · 29/03/2023 09:08

Video is from SF. I have a hard time believing it wasn’t provoked in that part of the world. If you’ve been there you’ll know what I mean.

pettysquabbles · 29/03/2023 09:12

It's in the Daily Fail so O'm not even going to read it.

Helleofabore · 29/03/2023 09:23

The majority of trans people are not bad. Another thing that is problematic is identity, currently anyone can switch identity pretty much on a whim and within that there's a risk of that being used for bad ie men saying they are women to access women's spaces to do harm. That's what needs to change not trans people”.

Good people do allow ‘bad’ things to happen in the name of tolerance or turn a blind eye to ‘bad’ things .

We are constantly told to ‘accept without exception’ by supposedly ‘good’ people. That mantra allows for harm to be done more easily through lowering of boundaries. Do you deny this?

The push to force acceptance of any male who wants entrance into female single sex spaces has absolutely allowed harm to be done.

That is just the start. That doesn’t even cover the political agenda that was allowed to be prioritised above providing best care for children and adolescents needing care for gender dysphoria. Nor sports, nor representative roles for female people being given to males, nor the very wide impact of gender identity ideology across the spectrum of the sex based rights of the female half of the population.

You might like to separate the world into ‘good’ and ‘bad’, however, I now consider any person who has supported actions which has allowed harm to occur to females of all ages to be complicit in that harm. It needs to be owned by even those who have attempted to shame women discussing these issues that concern them on MN.

What needs to change is the mantras need to stop. That the outcomes need to be acknowledged and understood how this has come about. That supporters who blindly silenced women acknowledge their part too. And that a group of people with unique needs now work to have those needs met without allowing, intentionally or not, harm to other groups or within that group where groups intersect (as is the case of female trans people and children).

Denying that this has all happened due to a group within the trans community and their own political agenda will help no one.

DerekFaker · 29/03/2023 09:31

I mean, if you insist on calling everyone a terf, even people like Matt Walsh, then of course it loses its meaning and anyone can claim the label. But it's not a slur, no sireee.

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