Experiences of a Trans Person

[invalide]

I think it might be healthy to document here the experiences of someone from the other side, and for you to pay it some mind.

I'm an early-twenties STEM student working in renewable energies, and outside of my course I'm a photographer and musician. I've travelled a fair amount and adore my home country of Scotland. Living in Glasgow, I have found a queer community of beautiful people who create a joy to everyday life I treasure.

At the beginning of this month there was a 'Let Women Speak' rally held here that some of you here attended; I have seldom felt more unwelcome and stripped of dignity than while in your crowd, carrying out my photojournalistic duties (images 1&2). While capturing Kellie-Jay Keen pathologising my friends as subhuman perverts and members of the crowd flaunting their homophobia and their use of dogwhistles (subliminal far-right messaging) I was being brazenly looked up and down, receiving steely gazes and pursed lips and hushed whispers behind my back. While photographing the first speaker after Keen, who began her piece portraying autistic people as children devoid of agency, I was approached by one of you who made it clear I looked too queer for their liking and was squaring up for assault. I made my way out at this point (captured at 8:42 here and 9:09 here).
The atmosphere your movement brought to George Square was one I've only before experienced while documenting far-right rallies in Eastern Europe, where I have been hounded through the streets and beaten up for the same reason. I assure you, your ideology would feel very much at home there.

At the other side of the square things couldn't have been more different, you were bathed in colour and music and hugs and laughter, the place is full of friends dancing and dressed resplendent in whatever camp pretty things they felt like (images 2&3).

Ours was a crowd of locals; I strained to hear a Glasgow accent in yours.

Ours is a city that at short notice manages to fill the top of Buchanan Street (image 5) in solidarity with the queer community - the last time I saw it like this was during COP26. It's one that fills George Square in a candlelit vigil for Brianna Ghey.

Your movement has meant I'm called a pervert and a groomer while going about my average daily life. Our morally vacuous, increasingly fascist political class (thinking also of Magnus Hirschfeld and of Martin Niemöller's famous poem) is picking up what you've started and they're running with it. You may not call yourself a homophobe, a white nationalist or an antisemite, but you're sitting awfully comfortably considering that those that do find your movement incredibly attractive.

The trauma of a woman looking at you 'brazenly'!

And how that justifies you waving signs to righteously behead her.

Honestly how batshit does this need to get before people wake up?

I think we all know what it's like to be brazenly looked up and down. Only instead of steely gazes, pursed lips and hushed whispers, for women it's usually accompanied by leering gazes, lewd mouthing and loud sexual jeers. Often followed up with physical contact. And all when we are just existing in a public space.

Has anyone really unironically sympathised with the OP for the trauma of being looked at?

Looked at, moreover, in a less overtly threatening way than women experience all too often?

...and is a rather succinct demonstration of precisely why we don't want to share all our spaces with penis people!

Go your son btw

Yes, your son is great, MadameCholet!

Back in the day, men had to be careful on a night out in case they looked at another man the wrong way.

That could have got you glassed. For doing nothing.

We are seeing the exact same wording / thought processes going on.

We'd be stupid to ignore it, and not see it as a real risk

Retaliation in the face of existential violence is to be expected. You expect us to go quietly into lives stripped of dignity?

I've finally caught up with the thread which has been eye opening. I don't think we ever got to the bottom of these existential violence accusations. Is it the violence that is leading to literal genocide? It is utter piffle of course.

As for dignity, there is a most excellent twitter thread from a paraplegic (quadraplegic?) woman who wants her intimate care provided by a natal woman. She feels embarassed, ashamed and frightened when a man provides this care. But no. She is not allowed that. That is what being stripped of dignity is, not a bunch of grey haired, hatchet faced, feminist killjoys looking at you. Looking at you, it must be said, when you crossed from your group of shiny happy people to go into their group and photograph them. (incidentally i always notice that the trans brigades seem to wear a lot of masks. Are they scared they'll Catch The Terf Germs? Or is there another reason?)

As for being "brazenly looked up and down" Congrats! OP! you have a shared experience with women. Did you tell those women you're not interested to get a reply of "fuck off you ugly slag i wouldn't touch you with a barge pole you're probably a lezzer anyway". You need that for the Full Womanly Experience, tbh, otherwise you don't quite get the entire appreciation of it.

As for calling trans folk perverts. Statistically, of course, there will be perverts (let's not get precise, kink-shaming is bollocks) in any given group. And tbh most women i know are fine to an extent with transwomen (how to put this delicately - the ones Hamza would refer to as genuine rather than those who are "trying it on") in some (but not all) spaces. Where the questioning comes is that, how are we to know. When to "live as a woman" doesn't even involve shaving off your beard, let alone any SRS (and let's be clear: I don't want people to have SRS unless they are absolutely 5 billion percent sure they want that. I think it is misguided and dangerous). How are we to tell who are the lovely glittery trans folk and who are the fucking hideous scary predators who are taking advantage of a badly thought out and ill-advised piece of legislation. Taking advantage of it, of course, before it's even actually introduced.

If we can't ask for a GRC, how can we know? If GRCs are handed out like sweeties, how can we know? If people are at risk of suicide because an old bat in a purple, white & green scarf looks at them a bit funny, how is gender dysphoria not a mental illness (and so what if it is? Mental health is important)

so many actual questions. So few (ie none) answers.

So from what I’ve read the OP went to an event called Let Women Speak as part of a group who didn’t want women to be able to speak, then sought out a feminist space online to lecture women about what patriarchy means and threaten them with violence if they don’t submit to his demands? Complete with links that aim to track women? And thinks he is somehow a victim?

TOTALLY FORGOT:
mini-babybel, babybel, giant wheels of Bel Paese cheese. What's not to like.

Blue cheese and steak pie? I want in

I make a banging blue cheese & celery soup. It has cheese, it has wine, it has celery (yuk on its own, amazing as an ingredient) and it has cream.

Hammy Eggy Cheesy Topside - someone described it upthread - gave me a bit of tear because that was my dad's go to lunch for us when my mum wasn't looking

And toast with ham and pineapple? are you German? that is THE food of the 70s here: Toast Hawaii (often with a cherry of some description shoved on top. Heaven.

OMG I missed all this yesterday.

So I'm just coming here to say I'd comment on this nonsense, but I gouda be arsed.

I like the sound of her. Can't beat a bit of procrastination.

Right I must get off mumsnet and wash the dishes.

Just as soon as I've finished catching up on the threads I'm on.

I think you have it, yes.

OP wanted to complain that some women looked at him funny, as far as I could tell, and was here to tell us off for it. Presumably he saw feminists on Mumsnet as people vaguely being 'of the class women'.

Oh, and wanted to complain about us having the wrong accents.

Another day, another fannybaws.

Ok, I'll bite
All the faux innocent "this never happens!"
Report to MN, I'll report on your behalf!
It's all utter bullshit as some of the names on here are regulars and know full well it happens - in the sense of saying tbat all trans people are sexual fetishists just doing it for kicks, and conflating being trans with paedophilia
It's rampant on the board, and if you say it isn't you're either lying or blind.

You can't find any evidence of anyone saying such nonsense, so you're just going to make it up.

It's all utter bullshit as some of the names on here are regulars and know full well it happens - in the sense of saying tbat all trans people are sexual fetishists just doing it for kicks, and conflating being trans with paedophilia
It's rampant on the board, and if you say it isn't you're either lying or blind.

show us where it is? I don't know about anyone else but i am very very trigger happy on the report button when i see stuff like that. Very trigger happy.

Er...no, that's not what I said at all now, is it.

Produce the evidence. Share the screenshots.

You can't. Because as you know full well, even if you identify as not knowing:

some people supporting the T political agenda do have extremely dodgy connections with paedophilia - such as the guy who worked for Mermaids.

some male people identifying as T (which means they are as T as anyone else) are sexual fetishists who share social media about their use of used san pro and their feelings on wanking in toilets and changing rooms.

There is a difference between SOME and ALL (group generalisations). There is a need to recognise that because you cannot identify the SOME, and women cannot be expected to just let the SOME crack on, ALL male people are excluded from women's facilities as the norm. It is why single sex facilities are provided. And T cannot be a justification for setting this aside.

Excellent.

Post the examples. We are very happy to report such negative generalisations.

Or are you too making an over exaggerated claim that you cannot support in the aim to lie about the opinions of people who disagree with you on something.

If "It's rampant on the board", post the examples and we will all report it. Because negative generalisations such as you are saying are happening are very explicitly against the talk guidelines.

Or ... are you making a negative generalisation and your own post should be reported for doing so?

I think the widening of what is considered "trans" by Stonewall has done more harm to (i hate to use the term but i don't know how else to do it) "Genuine" trans people as opposed to other types of "trans" people (nutrans?) So the TLA that may not be mentioned, fetishists etc.

And again: some people are fetishists. There is no need for Kink-shaming, but there is still a need to protect women. Including trans women where and when appropriate.

in the sense of saying tbat all trans people are sexual fetishists just doing it for kicks

I've been a regular for about 10 years, and I've never seen that said here by a regular posting in good faith. People troll these threads for screenshots, of course, but that isn't our fault. Be careful not to to extrapolate "all" from "some" when what we are talking about is women wanting male free spaces when they need them for the safety, privacy and dignity. But yes, some men are sexual fetishists, regardless of gender identity, and boring old unimportant women deserve to feel comfortable in public life as much as any male people do, including those with special identities.

And what this really boils down to is: stop pointing out the very major issues with this political agenda because it makes it look really bad.

Why yes. Yes it does. And that political movement needs to own that and clean its act up if it wants to be taken seriously, which includes recognising other people have human rights and abandoning bizarre extremist student politics such as 'threatening and attacking women in retaliation for their saying things like 'no' and 'reality exists' is absolutely politically justifiable!'.

Just trying frantically to make women shut up by endlessly repeating exaggerations isn't working.

And what this really boils down to is: stop pointing out the very major issues with this political agenda because it makes it look really bad.

Quite.

"It's rampant on the board"
Then you'll have no problem producing examples.