Muslim women and single sex spaces

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Hi,

I'm friends with a Muslim man at work. I don't know how strictly observant he is but he's definitely a practicing Muslim; prays 5 times a day, only eats halal, doesn't drink, etc etc. He has a partner (girlfriend I assume?) and they don't live together, so I've concluded he's not a 'casual' Muslim IYSWIM

He seems pretty modern and progressive in terms of understanding neurodiversity and DE&I at work, is happy to call out sexusm and microaggressions including a recent incident where someone used to word trans jokingly. He's a 'good guy'

I'm firmly GC feminist, though not loudly and especially not at work. I heard recently that some of our work loos were changing to gender neutral / mixed sex so I decided to ask him how he felt about this, especially with Muslim women in mind.

His answer, and I'm not sure how deliberate this was I can hear the rolling of 10 000 mumsnet eyes absolutely disengaged with women as having a valid issue and focused on his own issue. He shared that he was fairly happy to share loos as they're self contained, large sink cotaining cubicles. Fair enough, though the 'banks' of cubicles are tucked away behind another door so there is still a sense of privacy once you enter the area, and I'd feel surprised to stumble across a man and slightly unnerved.

We moved on to changing rooms as there are single sex open changing rooms with showers at work too. His absolute focus was on how as a Muslim he considers his whole body from knees to elbows to neck to be private, and women would be likewise except to ankles and wrists. He is very uncomfortable showing any part of his body to anyone, male or female. He just could not engage with the conversation and acknowledge that for him or for a Muslim woman there was an extra added layer of discomfort being in such a space with people of the opposite sex.

I was really surprised by this answer and just wondered how typical it was.

In summary: if you're Muslim or know a Muslim well enough to have asked, is there no real difference in changing and exposing back and stomach skin in a single sex space vs a mixed sex space?

I tried to push and ask if maybe women were more sensitive to the difference between showing skin in single sex vs mixed sex and he just insisted that for Muslims it was showing skin to anyone that was problematic.

I don't know if he's aware he side stepped my question, and he's been an ally and a helpful sounding board in some sexist behaviour I've experienced, so I was surprised by how this conversation went.

DelphiniumBlue from page1: I agree absolutely with you about all women needing the privacy and dignity as well as safety of single sex spaces, not just "religious " women

Thanks so much to all the posters continuing to engage and give me a greater understanding of this from the POV of Islam, also the poster who explained that as a black woman she would never share a remotely controversial opinion with white colleagues. Yet another example of privilege that this would never have occurred to me. I'll be mindful of everything people have shared in the future both at work and outside of it.

I am Muslim and I am a woman. I fast, pray, eat halal but don’t cover my hair much of the time.
I like single sex spaces and would not want to change in mixed changing room (I imagine they smell more). I believe firmly in the necessity of safe spaces for women but this is because of my experience as a woman more than anything else.

Typically in a single-sex changing room I would use a cubicle and if it wasn’t available, I would head to the nearest corner and figure it out. It wouldn’t stop me from going anywhere. My daughter would head to a cubicle but my mum would be the first one to strip down in a single sex space. Age and childbirth means that over time, we care less about which parts another woman might see. All of us would be much less comfortable in mixed spaces.

I am sure your colleague is happy to chat to you about his religion but he will have given you the socially-acceptable answer to stop being drawn into the debate or being seen as the awkward Muslim who everybody has to change the rules for. I mean what would you have done with his answer? If he had agreed, would you have told somebody else at work “It’s not me who has the problem, it’s the Muslims, just ask (Muslim colleague) over there.” Do you realise how hard we have to try at work to avoid these situations?

Also, because it was mentioned above- random Moroccan man in the market does not represent the views of any British, Muslim man in pretty much the same way that a random Saudi woman does not represent me. I know the not covering my hair might mean that people might see me as Muslim-lite and not truly representative of Muslim women but I don’t think that strict interpretation of what a Muslim woman is represents me.