How to connect with other gc women in Canada?

[Bonkersworknonsense]

I’m in BC and while I’ve lived here most of my life I do not have a soul here who is gender critical. My friends have a variety of reactions, from apathy to full-on twaw. A friend who teaches science to teens told me today that “there are many different permutations of xy chromosomes that can lead to a variety of gender expressions”. I mean, good grief.

I’d love to speak to women in my time zone, but don’t know how to go about finding any. I feel like the last feminist in the village 😬

Also in Canada, in the East. It's been very difficult to find people, but I have found a few. More men than women, by a fair way. More who don't know what it's all about, and are surprised when you tell them, for example, what JKR actually said, as opposed to what she is supposed to have said.

But the pressure to conform here is enormous, and not just about this.

Good luck GC Canadians in finding each other. Maybe what you need is a Canadian "Gender Critical Coming Out Day": www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4397261-Are-you-going-to-come-out-on-Gender-Critical-Coming-Out-Day-19-December

Looking back over that thread, I'm struck by how much bolder everyone is now, here in the UK. Even late 2021 we we still afraid. What changed? Maybe it was the Maya Forstater judgement. I appreciate Canadians currently have no such protection. Maybe if the case of the GC nurse in BC goes the right way, things will change?

And if it doesn't go her way initially, the lesson of the Forstater case is to appeal, and keep fighting.

Thanks for the support and encouragement from the Brits. This board, and reading the more sympathetic British media (Times etc) are a lifeline for me because nothing like this exists in Canada.

Having lived in both countries I feel that Brits are naturally less subservient and more questioning than your average Canadian … but we still must try!

Very much agree with this. Canadians also tend towards apathy, and what I'd call toxic kindness in a bid to seem extra liberal. Our geography also doesn't benefit itself to organizing for causes. My main contribution is that I give a large annual donation to Vancouver Rape Relief.

If I still lived in the UK I think I'd feel reasonably comfortable being "out" as GC. I certainly don't feel that way here. We have a steep hill to climb.

I’m an American TEFT who has loved two transmen. Trans women are not women, and women need same sex changing rooms, prisons, hospital wards/rooms, and so on. It’s not appropriate for people with penises or who had penises to share space with women born women. I stay in the closet on this, because saying the truth to some people is dangerous.

Bon courage, Canadian women, from a Scot!

Look how far we've come since the dark and scary days when nobody could mention these issues - nobody could possibly think that 'no debate' holds sway here any more.

What has made the difference here has been the few very brave women who were willing to stand up and talk.

You have Amy Hamm, you have Anna Slatz, you have Meghan Murphy. Already some amazing Canadian women are out there working hard. Join them and keep going.

You will find a way through.

I'm in downtown Toronto. Dh and I are both Gender Critical. We live in an uber woke neighborhood, kids go to public primary with gender neutral bathrooms and rainbows plastered every where. It's awkward. Still, I talk about it. Feel people out and share my views gently and without judgment. I take the time to explain why I feel the way I do. I find people agree with me more then I expect, are almost relieved to have the safety to explore what they've been pushing away. It's really helped to feel less alone and like I am doing something, however small. But I am honestly terrified about where our country is headed. I don't share my views on social media, at work, with my kids school, with strangers. It's a sickening feeling to have to hide who I am & what I believe while living in a place that claims to be the most inclusive country on earth.

I recommend the National Post for gc mainstream media, especially Barbara Kay's pieces. There are a few orgs you can donate to who do good work as well, Blue Print for Canada & Parents as First Educators are great. My biggest worry right now is gender ideology being pushed in public schools. We can't afford private & home schooling isn't an option for us. This feels so dangerous right now with the wedge they are driving between families. I have opted both kids out of any Gender Ideology content in school & recommend anyone with similar concerns do the same.

Good luck ladies be brave for Canada.

I've just NC for this, but hello @greenspaces4peace, we messaged earlier in the year.

Nice to see a few from Canada. I'm near Toronto (and work downtown sometimes) if anyone wants to get together in person at some point. DH is extremely GC but in most of the rest of my life I have to keep quiet. Sounds like my neighbourhood is very like yours, @Sleepingbabies2021. My Syrian (ie Muslim) friends decided to move to the Catholic school because they weren't happy with all the politics in the public board. Says a lot really.

Hello @JustinTrudeau how are you doing? feel free to pm me.

Good for you. The restaurant should serve what you ordered not some random thing that you didn't. I'd assume my order (UK here) was mixed up with someone else's and point it out - I doubt anyone in the UK would do anything but that, certainly not eat what might be someone else's order!

Thanks so much all, it’s really buoying up to read all this. @Sidaway I think Maya’s case helped enormously, also Kellie-Jay, Hadley Freedman, Magdalene Berns, JKR of course. So many women being publicly so brave allowed women to organise.

”Very much agree with this. Canadians also tend towards apathy, and what I'd call toxic kindness in a bid to seem extra liberal. Our geography also doesn't benefit itself to organizing for causes.” @teezletangler very well put. The stupid size of Canada plus the relatively small population doesn’t help for sure. All those time zones! And we very much have toxic kindness, that’s it exactly. So long as we can claim something is kind we can get away with anything.

I think we’re apathetic if the cause doesn’t score us points. People here are intense about appearing to have the correct sentiments. Very, very ready to hop on bandwagons. I’ve had to tell friends who are otherwise lovely people that terms like “antivaxxer” are reductive and allow us to lump a broad cross section of people into one group, a group we deem not worthy of respect. Our schools like to think they encourage critical thinking, but they don’t. No debate is very strong here.

I find it sad and quite unnerving actually. If they can believe TWAW, what else can they be convinced of? This is almost all of my friends and one of my adult children I’m talking about.

Hi Op, I'm here too. I wrote a long paragraph that disappeared, so will sum up incase it posts too. I've been on the boards a long time as a lurker and pop up to die on hills, sparticus and cheer on the brave women fighting back. It seems hopeless here, but watching how things are unfolding in the UK I hope that all is not lost. I'm grateful that my DC are GC and most of my friends, but very few want to discuss it because it is so frowned upon. One of my DCs friends is having her breasts removed soon. She is still a teenage. How can this be happening?!

Can someone tell me about the Parksville story, I've only heard about the Nanaimo one recently.

I really identify with a lot of this. I find it so disheartening. I've wondered if part of it doesn't come from the tendency we've had over the past 50 years or so to define ourselves as different from the "nasty" Americans. I had a visit from a friend last year who lives in the US and Scotland - both in areas that were considered very Covid-strict generally. He found the social attitude here to masking and vaccination to be be deeply oppressive by comparison. No questions allowed.

The crap ideas my kids come home from school with shock me, and the lack of teaching around how to ask questions, understand the other side of an argument, etc.

It does make me think that gender ideology is a small part of a larger problem.

I remember my old science teacher in high school telling us about a study that was done that proved if 7 or more people close to you believed something even if it was complete nonsense that we were 75% more likely to agree with them and fully believe them. The remaining people that didn’t believe it where more likely to remain silent for the sake of peace and to not create upset. I wish I remembered what the study was called. If anyone knows please give us a link!

I myself grew up in what I believe was very much zealous [for lack of a better word that starts with a C] like behaviour as per my family’s religion. I’m very self aware that this played a role in my easily slipping into becoming a TRA. It was a bit of the perfect storm for my young self. I had recently left my religion but felt an emptiness to fill that void and wanted to do something good to distract myself from it. Something one might say is not ‘religious’.

LGBT activism was right up that ally for me. It was non religious and made me feel like I was doing something really good. But it felt familiar. A lot of the black and white thinking patterns. LGBT good. All that disagree are bad.

I realize this now that I am older and wiser. I was still healing from a lot of trauma. I realize my situation could be very individual but I often wonder if there were others that fell into the same pitfall. My therapist specializes in spiritual trauma. She says that many people who are in groups like say westbrook baptist church for example are not in those groups because they are unintelligent. They either were in there because they were born into it or because it met an unfulfilled need.

They often lack the tools in their mental health toolkit to recognize the harms of the situation. They have to grow that organically on their own and they may go their entire lives because these groups actively go out of their way to keep these critical thinking skill tools well out of their reach.

For TRA’s they do this at an extreme level on a much wider scale by manipulating social media and the press. Abusing the law to punish those who speak out of term. Emotionally coercing others by implying that using forbidden language is harmful or even murder. You know… creating an echo chamber!

Would it be ok if I PM you OP? I'm just heading out for the day now, but will check back in later.

@DemiColon the identifying ourselves by what we are not (American) may have something to do with it. An ingredient. Having lived in the UK for a time I felt that it was more tolerant of a variety of lifestyles. My experience of Canada has always been that it’s very much agreed on ways of living and interests etc. Not much room for eccentrics here. Not liking hockey or Timmy’s is seen as concerning behaviour.

@MissFlitworth pm away! I’m having an early start today, but will check my messages later.

@PissedOffAmericanWoman the study you mentioned is interesting. I suppose I shouldn’t find it surprising, but I do. I think I’ve always questioned everything, I know my mum and dad at times found that a trial.

Ive found it surprising how people who are otherwise very bright don’t see the problems inherent in all this, especially regarding women’s safeguarding and healthy child development.

Has every era always been so self righteous? The idea that untold millennia of human development goes by and we needed some gender theory academics to tell us everything we instinctively and scientifically know about mammalian biology can be thrown out … the hubris is astonishing.

I just wanted to update this lovely thread full of Herbert critical women to let you know some breaking news for Canada. The first detransitioner lawsuit in Canada has broken ground.

thepostmillennial.com/woman-who-lost-breasts-uterus-to-sex-change-sues-doctors-mental-health-providers-who-facilitated-her-transition

I am starting a thread too. Here is the link if you would like to join a wider conversation about this.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4747570-breaking-canadas-first-detrans-lawsuit

Gender critical * 🤦🏻‍♀️

Aha! I'm in BC and afraid to open my mouth on the subject.

Herbert critical lol

I know a Herbert, and yes I'm fairly critical of him :)

Vancouver Island GC women... a Meghan Murphy event in Nanaimo!

www.instagram.com/p/Cw4DaO7s1Gs/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Gosh, I really identify with this!

I'm Canadian too, on the East Coast. I struggle with things like restaurant food complaints. I was at a cafe with a non-Canadian friend recently, and my coffee was made wrong - he insisted on telling the owner, and I was just so mortified. She didn't mind at all. It was really just me. I've not been back since.

I do not however toe the line on this kind of gender crap. I have to keep somewhat quiet in my job, but I speak out where I can.

I do think there are more and more people becoming disenchanted with GI, and ID pol, more generally. But somehow people here need to realize that it's not a scientific thing. In my experience, people here believe that.

Ha, I wrote on this thread when it came up the first time! Now I feel silly!

@renthead - I saw that about Meghan Murphy. I wonder why they chose Nanaimo, Instead of Victoria or Vancouver (much bigger populations). I’m not going as it’s too far. I’d go if it was here, but I’d be frightened half to death - both of being outed and the potential ramifications at work, and just of being screamed at.

But it would be fantastic to be in community with other women on this!

and Herberts? I am definitely critical of Herberts 😂

And obviously it’s abominable that women can’t meet and discuss these issues without being frightened.

I will be utterly shocked if media coverage is not entirely slanted toward the poor TRA’s and against the naughty women who think thoughts the men don’t like. That’s if they cover it at all.