Men! | Mumsnet

happinessischocolate · 2023-02-05T01:38:28+00:00

I'm 55, been a single parent for 18 years with a few short term relationships over the years. Im jaded despite working in a male dominated environment for years and even I thought happy valley was anti male. But going out tonight for the first time in ages men really are shit. I've been hit on by 3 married men who I thought better of but they really can't help themselves. My wife doesn't understand me doesn't even cover it. The happily married ones are the worst. Sorry just needed to get this off my chest.

quietnightmare · 05/02/2023 01:42

Sorry this happened

It's true and untrue at the same time

Some men are like this, some woman are like this, some men are not like this and some women are not like this

Everyone is different, has different morals, different expectations of themselves and other different expectations of others. Stay true to yourself and shrug off those married men you are better than that

Put yourself out there with your good conscious and you will find someone with equal values. Your a baby plenty of time

Original poster

happinessischocolate · 05/02/2023 01:53

Thanks, I genuinely appreciate it

3 tosser but there was over a good 100 guys between 3 pubs

It's just so disappointing

OP posts:

quietnightmare · 05/02/2023 01:58

It is disappointing but put it down to a rubbish Saturday night.

Get yourself out to places you may find less sleazy men, possibly cocktail bars, piano bars, things like that.

Don't let these three idiots deter you(I know they could be telling the truth but let's pretend they are not)

Have you tried online, comedy nights usually there are some men who are great fun at comedy nights, and going out to bars/clubs/restaurant clubs in the day time

The summer is coming that's always the best time to find some decent men

Gosh I sound mad I know but trust me Greece didn't write a whole song about summer lovin if it wasn't true

Blister · 05/02/2023 06:43

"Some men, some women". I'm tired of this nonsense. It only takes one tosser to ruin the nights out of multiple women. Add in a few more men and the night-out feels like a shark fest. Yes, you'll occasionally find a predatory female ruining someone else's night but the incidence is so much lower.

It is not man hating to point out that thiparticular r type of interaction is predominantly a male pattern activity.

OP you've dusted off your dancing shoes. These men are not your problem to fix. Enjoy the pleasant interesting you do encounter but women moaning about men doesn't fix anything. It's a male problem, men have to fix it.

Blister · 05/02/2023 06:46

Ugh I'm leaving the gibberish as is. I can't work around the paragraph bug on mobile anymore.

aurorauk · 27/08/2023 15:48

Blister · 05/02/2023 06:43

"Some men, some women". I'm tired of this nonsense. It only takes one tosser to ruin the nights out of multiple women. Add in a few more men and the night-out feels like a shark fest. Yes, you'll occasionally find a predatory female ruining someone else's night but the incidence is so much lower.

It is not man hating to point out that thiparticular r type of interaction is predominantly a male pattern activity.

OP you've dusted off your dancing shoes. These men are not your problem to fix. Enjoy the pleasant interesting you do encounter but women moaning about men doesn't fix anything. It's a male problem, men have to fix it.

YES. This. I agree 100%. All this BS about "not all men". No, not all men but MOST men. TOO MANY men treat women poorly and have low self awareness. I can't think of many male friends who are as jaded or worried about dating because they don't have to worry about being raped, killed, drugged, robbed or whatever. The worst thing is when other women defend men generally and call women bad, too. No, the majority of us are not going to rape or kill.

IcakethereforeIam · 27/08/2023 16:48

When my mum and dad split up, my mum told me that the guy who lived across from us (who'd seen me and my sisters grow up, who we called 'uncle', whose wife was absolutely lovely) had, shortly after hearing the news, made a pass at her. It's not all men, but it could be any man.

Precipice · 27/08/2023 17:27

Yes, it's "not all men", but it is "all women". All women are affected by male violence and male entitlement and male harassment. We're not all equally subjected to it, but we're all impacted by it. What adult woman has never encountered a creepy man? Even if nothing serious happens to an individual woman directly, she knows that other women she knows have been sexually assaulted, have been in danger from men, have had men take casual advantage or 'try it on' with her, and she knows that such behaviour from men towards women is something prevalent and to be feared.

ArabeIIaScott · 27/08/2023 17:30

Precipice · 27/08/2023 17:27

Yes, it's "not all men", but it is "all women". All women are affected by male violence and male entitlement and male harassment. We're not all equally subjected to it, but we're all impacted by it. What adult woman has never encountered a creepy man? Even if nothing serious happens to an individual woman directly, she knows that other women she knows have been sexually assaulted, have been in danger from men, have had men take casual advantage or 'try it on' with her, and she knows that such behaviour from men towards women is something prevalent and to be feared.

That was what was powerful about 'me too'. I don't know that anyone had previously acknowledged how every girl and woman is impacted by it.

FlippinFumin · 27/08/2023 18:27

Not all men, but most of the fuckers. Trouble with men is, they have such massive egos. They are all looking for a 10, even though they might just about scrape as a 6. They want a woman to work, look good, housekeep, childmind. Be Mrs Middle Class John Lewis surburbanite. While they dick about being complete areseholes.
Sorry not sorry, not had good experiences with men.