Sex not gender, No Outsiders changing the Equality Act, DepHead/DSL captured

[Vebrithien]

Well, here we are, with a whole new thread!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4713725-please-help-gender-not-sex-on-a-school-protected-characteristics-poster-just-spoken-to-the-head?page=10&reply=123546552

Thank you all, so so much for the support you have given me.

I am currently working on the draft of the message I want to send.

Long story short, DD's primary school displays posters by No Outsiders, showing the 9 protected characteristics of the Equality Act. Sex as been replaced with gender.

I have raised this with the Head, the assistant Head, and the Deputy Head (DepHead, as DH just doesn't work here). I have been reassured that sex is synonymous with gender in law, and, through an email stream, No Outsiders have reassured the school that it is deliberate, gender is easier to teach children than sex, especially as some will snigger at sex.

Oh, and teaching that gender is the difference between boys and girls, it makes it easier to then explain gender reassignment later on.

I'll put the message from the DepHead and No Outsiders here, and also my reply, in its current state.

Thank you all again!

Wow well done @Vebrithien you have probably saved some children from lifelong medicalisation here, and ensured many more will be a hell of a lot less confused and psychologically damaged.

Excellent, excellent work.

@Vebrithien what a fantastic outcome. Well done your polite but dogged persistence has achieved a positive result for all parties.

Wow! Well done @Vebrithien - that all sounds so positive. It seems like there’s been a real shift in culture not just in terms of trans ideology but also in terms of seeing parents as a valuable resource and big part of the school rather than the enemy.

Another one adding congratulations to you @Vebrithien your persistence in the face of all that was thrown at you has been incredible. A sincere well done for what you have achieved, and it was you that achieved it and fantastic outcome on your new role, that school is very lucky to have you.

Thank you for your messages.

Don't mind admitting that I had a little cry, reading through them. This afternoon, I said to my best friend, who was there as the meeting, it felt like there was a huge weight taken off of my shoulders. Hadn't realised just how much it has been weighing me down.

Am sat down, with the DC in bed, TV on and a glass of Aperol spritz!

This is brilliant news @Vebrithien and I’m so pleased that not only did they listen they want you to consult with them. Your hard work and calm persistence has paid off. Proper Shero!

Yaaasss, @Vebrithien !@Vebrithien

Sorry, I meant to say, yaaasss, @Vebrithien ,that's an amazing result!!!

I too was asked to sit down with the deputy head with responsibility for PHSE and 'advise' them on their transgender lesson. Our yr8 resource now explicity states human beings cannot change sex; you cannot get into trouble for not using correct pronouns; what you wear and what hobbies you like does NOT make you a girl or a boy, and the PSHE lead was, frankly, amazed at all this stuff. She asked me, where does it all come from!?

And they are looking into training for ALL staff - we are an awesome force xxxx

Well done, Veb. You were so worried early in the thread and not convinced that you could achieve anything, but you've done a bloody marvellous job!

I hope that, despite the stress and worry that this has caused you, that your confidence has been increased.

Really, in the face of this situation and the powerful people who push and support, you've shown great tenacity.

Just had another little victory.

Email home from the school, relating to the classes moving up, and how the children will be rearranged into the two classes.

One of the factors they take into account when deciding the classes (so they are not too unbalanced) is the "sex and age" of the children in the class.

Last year, it was "gender and age"

Once you’ve seen it you can’t unsee it. Well done Veb, you’re shining the light and, hopefully, once the SLT has seen the arguments, they will logically make the right choices
Rabbit, also really well done. You say the PHSE lead asked ‘where this stuff comes from” what did they mean? Where does the inconsistent alphabet come from, or where does your very logical position come from? (Given that they had presumably not taken the logical GC position before?)

Well done!

It is with a heavy heart that I return to these threads.

Turns out, the school lied to us.

We were promised that gender identity wasn't taught, if it did come up, it was clearly identified that it was a belief. We were also promised that any resources used, would be shared with parents before the date.

The school has been using "She's my dad" as their year 4 reading comprehension book, during LGBTQ+ history month. Intensively studied, every day for a week.

Parents only found out, after it had happened, it was mentioned in their weekly roundup.

No resources have been shared with us. The class teachers have refused to engage with our questions.

We are going to email our complaint. Going straight to the Head this time. Just as much about the breach of trust, as the hideous book used.

We all feel so sad, and let down.

That's disappointing after they seemed to originally take things on board.

Our resistance group has a handful of new members.

One, only recently moved to the area. He was warned by parents in year 5, that the children are being told that they need to keep what they learn about gender identity in RSE lessons, a secret from their parents.

I haven't heard this directly, and could easily imagine a teacher saying along the lines that "if anyone talks about something in these lessons, it shouldn't be shared further don't gossip"

But, if this was said, and the children have got the wrong end of the stick, that is worrying enough. The rules should also have been shared with parents

If the children are being told to keep the contents of their RSE lessons secret from their parents, this is massive.

They are complete shits aren't they!

Yes @Boiledbeetle , they really are.

We have two parents who are just about ready to withdraw their children from the school, over this.

The school has completely broken our trust.

Vebrithien · Today 14:37

He was warned by parents in year 5, that the children are being told that they need to keep what they learn about gender identity in RSE lessons, a secret from their parents.

Surely that's illegal? At the very least, it's a huge breach of safeguarding.

Good luck to you and your colleagues in dealing further with the mendacious shit.

Yes, this is what I am trying to find out.

Everything I have found so far is about a member of staff not being able to promise to keep a secret. I can't find anything else about schools telling children to keep lesson content a secret.

That’s grim Veb. Good luck

Bloody hell veb that's shocking.

I've said for a long time it's not just RSE and pshe sessions; literacy is a big area where all these LGBTq money spinning books can be brought in and read to or with the class.

Hoping to have emailed the school be the end of the day.

Ugh.

"Dear Head,

We are e-mailing to follow up from our discussion with the school last year on how gender is taught at (name of school) and parental communication. We had understood from the meeting that gender identity beliefs were not actively taught at (name of school) and had felt reassured that the school was committed to actively sharing the resources used to teach RSE with parents.

We were therefore surprised when one of us, as a Year 4 parent, received a message that the book ‘She’s My Dad’ had been used as a teaching resource in reading comprehension this term. We are concerned that this specific book teaches gender identity as fact not belief (for example using a glossary likely to be interpreted by children as factual) and also reinforces harmful gender stereotypes in which being female is defined by stereotypically feminine outward appearance, clothes and personal grooming.

But our greater concern is the lack of transparency until after the fact. We had understood that gender identity was not being taught at the school, and we would have expected that the introduction of materials teaching gender identity beliefs would have been shared in advance with parents. We are disappointed that the commitments last year have not been met and would like to understand how this has happened to rebuild our trust in the school, so that we can work together to make the school a better place for all of the children.

We support the school in encouraging children to celebrate diversity and to be polite and respectful to everybody. We would like to work with the school to help do this in a way that protects the equally valid beliefs of children who do and who do not believe in gender identity, with dignity and respect for all - we would like to hear your thoughts on the best way forward for this."

Love, 10 parents!

Oh what a disappointment. Is it one member of staff driving this? There's clearly an agenda here.
Your email is very polite and I really hope the Head gets back to you with some positive updates.