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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Don't use the word "Lady". It excludes men. Responses?

41 replies

AmIreallyBeverly · 01/02/2023 00:14

This happened a few months ago so too late now but no doubt it will happen again so can any of you lovely LADIES help me with a response when it does please?

Snag tights have a NSFW facebook page. Basically it's women and men in their undies and snag tights posing provocatively. I joined thinking it was a body positivty page but I should have known better! 🤣

A few months ago one of the men on there starting whinging that using the term "ladies" was offensive. He thought it should be a banned word on the site in the name of inclusivity.

Lots of agreement and sympathy with a few people agreeing not to use it but of course we all know what he was saying really.

When it happens again how can I respond to tell them to not be so stupid. The page is linked to a couple of other (less porny) pages that I don't want to get kicked out of. I'm also more about educating others than attacking him.

OP posts:
ANameChangePresents · 01/02/2023 00:17

Just say you mean it in the same way as some people use the word 'guys'. Capturing the majority of readers with shorthand doesn't mean you are actively excluding the minority.

VioletLemon · 01/02/2023 00:17

Sam Smith been reporting on females again?

NeighbourhoodWatchPotholeDivision · 01/02/2023 00:18

Snag tights have a NSFW facebook page. Basically it's women and men in their undies and snag tights posing provocatively. I joined thinking it was a body positivty page but I should have known better

They have a page that's worse than the ads that constantly appear when I use facebook? Bloody. Hell.

GrumpyPanda · 01/02/2023 00:21

NeighbourhoodWatchPotholeDivision · 01/02/2023 00:18

Snag tights have a NSFW facebook page. Basically it's women and men in their undies and snag tights posing provocatively. I joined thinking it was a body positivty page but I should have known better

They have a page that's worse than the ads that constantly appear when I use facebook? Bloody. Hell.

You're using FB wrong. Have a look for the FB Purity browser extension. Hey presto, no more ads. Ever.

Hearmeout · 01/02/2023 00:22

Snag tights are fabulous but that's beside the point.

Original poster
AmIreallyBeverly · 01/02/2023 00:26

Snag tights are good. Their advertising is not.

OP posts:
Original poster
AmIreallyBeverly · 01/02/2023 00:29

@NeighbourhoodWatchPotholeDivision.

Oh yes! Some people seem to find posting pics empowering. Others are clearly just using it to get off. I've stopped looking at the page because I don't want to see people' bums but occassionally posts still... um, pop up.

OP posts:
FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 01/02/2023 00:29

Could you respond that you were not looking for a reply from just anyone, you were specifically looking for a response from the female members of the page, hence your use of the word 'ladies'.

Original poster
AmIreallyBeverly · 01/02/2023 00:31

It wasn't my post. It's also not about that. He wanted everyone to stop using "lady" because he wasn't one. So basically dismissing women

OP posts:
Original poster
AmIreallyBeverly · 01/02/2023 00:31

I'm not a They. Them, Him, Whatever.

OP posts:
OneMorePlant · 01/02/2023 00:32

Stop stupporting these horrible companies and their depraved nonsense.

There are hundreds of other places you can buy tights.

NeighbourhoodWatchPotholeDivision · 01/02/2023 00:33

AmIreallyBeverly · 01/02/2023 00:26

Snag tights are good. Their advertising is not.

Their ads have totally put me off. I associate the brand with desperate exhibitionism. Grin

TheClitterati · 01/02/2023 00:34

Snag tights have sadly become woke as fuck. Their marketing increasingly dreadful. I can only imagine the thought police joy sucking hellhole that would be their FB group. Just avoid it. Or perhaps protest dramatically in the group & get kicked out in a blaze of glory.

Their tights are very good though.

TheClitterati · 01/02/2023 00:37

I think your tactic is wrong - you will never educate this bloke. Better tactic is to reply with other readers in mind - so they will see you point and even if at the time they don't jump in, they will think "hell yeah she is making sense". Be the anti smile & nod.

Original poster
AmIreallyBeverly · 01/02/2023 00:41

But how though? I need to be careful because I don't want to get into trouble at work. You never know who is reading what so may as well be careful.

I just need a fake FB account.

OP posts:
NeighbourhoodWatchPotholeDivision · 01/02/2023 00:43

Thinking about the actual issue:

"50% of the planet is female. Saying it's exclusionary to sometimes specify that your question is just for other ladies is silly. It makes it seem as if we should be ashamed of being women."

Original poster
AmIreallyBeverly · 01/02/2023 00:43

Snag tights are good though! Apart from their mock garters.

Tell me another tight Company whose tights stay up, wash Well and are actually comfortable. I really dislike buying from them these days and would happily go elsewhere.

OP posts:
OnlyTheWeedsGrow · 01/02/2023 01:10

I like their products, but I am absolutely repulsed by their advertising and message, so I refuse to buy from them.

deeperthanallroses · 01/02/2023 01:19

This is very common on Fb groups. And while I dislike them getting caught up in debates and purity spirals I can see for example how it is nice to include guys in sewing groups and I don’t want them to feel like it’s not for them. But I strongly dislike people objecting to hey guys and generic well meant terms so… I guess I’m saying I’m not sure I object to generally inclusive terms on a page that obviously welcomes men and women. Doesn’t mean that guy in particular is not a wank badger though!

TheClitterati · 01/02/2023 01:19

AmIreallyBeverly · 01/02/2023 00:41

But how though? I need to be careful because I don't want to get into trouble at work. You never know who is reading what so may as well be careful.

I just need a fake FB account.

I foolishly polluted my FB with work colleagues including bosses and clients. I hardly ever use it now apart from groups.

Snag tights have been life-changing and brilliant for me. I'd happily buy tights elsewhere and I will as soon as someone else does something similar without all the horrendous marketing.

ShoobeeDooLangLang · 01/02/2023 01:40

I’m not in any tights groups on FB, and just one clothing brand which is not British and completely different from the Snag style. I’ve worn tights once in the last 3 years, plain black ones to a funeral.

So why am I suddenly getting adverts for Snag on my FB page? Mostly the garter style, NSF my work, and from yesterday they seemed to be being worn by people who were probably “assigned male at birth”?

FrancescaContini · 01/02/2023 02:01

Not the point but: companies that make tights have their own FB sites? What for? What’s there to say?

OneMorePlant · 01/02/2023 02:29

I'm not sure I'm helpful for alternatives since I only buy the lace tights and the comfortable seamless tights from Emilio Cavellini. They are gorgeous and last me a long time. But the x-xl sizes only go up to i think 160lbs so its not for larger sizes which is why i assume some of you like snag tights?

I heard good things about the big bloomer company but I have no personal experience with them.

Everyonehasavoice · 01/02/2023 02:47

So ladies is a polite word for woman
‘Man’ ( historically) used to refer to a person , irrespective of sex, age, etc
a lady was also known as wif. + man. ie wife person which became woman.
And men remained as man
Its so much more involved but basically, generally a lady was a wifman of independent means….not reliant / dependent on a man.

Like most women today. !!!!

So the word woman has nothing to do with being part of a man ie wo + man, which a lot of people think.

Why then would anyone want to impose ‘woman’ over ‘lady’

Don't use the word "Lady". It excludes men. Responses?
Thirdsummerofourdiscontent · 01/02/2023 03:05

Instead of saying Ladies just write Ladies and people who wear ladies Tights 😉