Non-binary student left 'hurt' after disabled toilet row at Digbeth bar

[SerendipityJane]

www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/non-binary-student-left-hurt-25914614

Poor Charlie, what a dilemma. What do you think the women of Afghanistan and Iran would suggest you do? Maybe they have some advice on navigating an unfair world .

Imagine needing to actually need to physically use specialist toilet facilities due to physical issues beyond your control only to find some Gen Z-er is using it because "their fweelings would be huwrt" to have to use male or female toilets.

Surely if Charlie is non binary they shouldn’t be ‘getting used to it’. I thought it was some intrinsic internal soul part of being?

can you become non binary?

So tonight I’m wearing a man’s hoodie & leggings. Does this mean I’m non binary tonight?

Tomorrow I’m going to a baptism, I will be wearing a dress & perhaps some make up. Will I no longer be non binary?

Do some people have non binaryness thrust upon them?

I can only imagine 'Charlie ' wanted to use the accessible toilets because they feared that the typical bigoted MN's feminists would make them ferl uncomfortable if they used the ladies.

Yes.

Nope we would have spotted that Charlie is actually female amd would have had no problem with her there in the ladies loos

I would be incredibly pissed off if staff looked at me and said it was only for people with “actual” disabilities. I do wonder if the staff said this unprompted or if the individual involved announced to them that she was non binary and that’s why she needed to use the special loo.

I wasn't there.... but I would hazard a guess....

Regardless of whether Charlie believes that Charlie looks like a woman or not, the fantastic news for Charlie is that you don't have to look like a woman to qualify to use the women's toilets; you just have to be a woman.

It's normally certain TW wanting to take away women's protected spaces; a non-disabled female person wanting to take away disabled people's protected spaces is also outrageous.

What's with people deciding that they are special and so should get to take other people's rights away from them, in order to add them to their own?

Charlie doesn't want to use the men's because they might spot she has breasts and doesn't want to use the women's because women won't spot she has breasts?

Charlie "was out with a group of friends". So I have to ask myself - why didn't they go en masse into the ladies' (or is that too 'womanly' a way to behave)? Her friends forming a protective cordon, as it were? Surely at least one of them could have accompanied her into a toilet (male, female, whichever sex the friend was)?

This forever a victim mentality is just so bloody tedious. Charlie grow up. You are no more special than anybody else. Get off social media, the dopamine addiction to the 'likes' and 'comments' needs the cold turkey treatment. Read books about other countries,see art from other cultures, develop a personality that is not dependent on how others see you. Learn something about yourself.
And fuck off out of the disabled facilities.

If you aren't disabled you shouldn't be using the disabled toilets. End of.

No idea why Charlie couldn't use either the men's or the women's.
I have used men's toilets a few times when I have been absolutely desperate and there was a massive queue for the women's. Rather than piss myself or use the disabled toilet when I'm not disabled.

I don't get the non-binary thing at all. I suppose it's what I am really - interested in a wide range of things and sometimes wear men's clothes and other times do my hair nicely and put a dress on. There have been women like me around forever. My grandma was like that too. Just wear what the fuck you like, be interested in what the fuck you like, but don't be using disabled toilets when you're not.
Oh and don't go kicking up a fuss to a newspaper about feeling hurt because you weren't allowed to use disabled toilets.
Ludicrous.

Women are constantly berated as bigoted pearlclutchers for not wanting men in their public toilets but as soon as someone identifies as trans or non-binary they are allowed to say they find the men's loos too scary. Which is it: just a place to pee or a confined public space open to abuse by louts and predators? Wish they'd apply some consistent logic.

I don’t understand how being non-binary means you can’t use the toilet of the sex you were born.

However, some disabilities are hidden and I hope that it wasn’t case that the staff thought she didn’t look disable enough.

I would also hope that a trans person uses a unisex toilet over ones for separate sexes.

I don’t really understand non binary. I don’t think I ever will it’s very confusing and just seems ridiculous to me.

I don’t really understand non binary. I don’t think I ever will

I'm not convinced anybody knows - including those who identify as it. None of them ever seem able to explain it logically, when asked.

For fuck sake disabled people are marginalised and disadvantaged enough as it it! It really really doesn't sit right with me that the disabled toilet is the default for people who 'can't' ie won't use a sex-designated loo.

So disabled people - some of whom have urge incontinence and cannot wait, will just have to piss themselves while the disabled toilets are being hogged by non disabled people? How selfish and quite frankly, awful.

There is absolutely no reason to divide toilets by some inner gender feelings that some people have and most others do not. The reason for having female and male toilets is largely to do with the larger number of men with paraphilias and aggressive tendencies.

If you are female, then you can use the female toilet, even if your identity is something quite otherworldly.

And yes, do ask the women and girls in Afghanistan for some advice. I have read that in some areas of the country they can't leave their houses without their male guardians.

The thing that grinds me with the nonbinitarians is supposedly they assume everyone else is just a moid of Barbie or Ken.

It makes my head hurt all of this. The level of self absorption is really something.

Indeed. For there to be non-binary, others must be assumed to be binary, and as this is not about sex, it must be about allegiance to sex stereotypes and sex roles. Sounds like a giant leap backwards in feminist work, the idea that most women are assumed to be comfortable with retrogressive views about proper feminine behaviour.

My mum is having cancer treatment and is (hopefully) temporarily in a wheelchair. During a recent visit to the hospital she had an urgent need for the toilet, only to find the disabled toilet was occupied by a mum with 2 kids who just found it ‘easier’ than going into the completely empty ladies toilets next door. It was a very near miss for an accident on what was already a stressful day. I told the mother she needed to be more considerate - especially in a hospital FFS!

Imagine if people like Mum have to compete for disabled loos with every trans and non binary person around. This is the biggest complaint I have - an entire generation being raised to believe their gender makes them more special, entitled and vulnerable than anyone else in society.

Particularly when they're getting nicked for public order offences on nights out.

A family friend asked his daughter what "non-binary" is. She said that it's just attention-seeking and she avoids them because of the drama. I think that she understands it.

Charlie thinks she doesn't look like a woman. I'm glad she has the blueprint for what that should be because I'm sure a lot of us woman would just love to be educated 🙄Must say, when I'm in the local pub and my cheery, friendly butch dyke (by her own definition) neighbour comes into the loos when I'm there, it's never occurred to me to look her up and down and suggest she uses the men's/disabled loos . . .