A Butterbeer thread

[WandaWomblesaurus]

We can't have Bunburys but we can have a cheer up thread for recipes and nonsense - unrelated to any other that reads and just for ourselves to discuss purple scarves and green skirts and cats. Is anyone preparing for Xmas yet? I'm going to buy a Christmas cake from the bakers and feed it some brandy (no time to bake one).

We use the same gold, red and green decorations every year. We got the tree and a lot of tinsel and unbreakable baubles when DD was 3, she chose a new special bauble for quite a few years. They're still all fine and she'll expect it to be up and the same as ever when she comes home.

@WandaWomblesaurus

❤️

Just what we need! Thank you!

I have just ordered myself an advent calendar. Getting to have a chocolate one is STILL exciting even after several years now. I think someone may have got me one of the ✨fancy✨ Potter ones (early December birthday) but I’m not sure…

@IcakethereforeIam

My mirth provoked a bewildered up-bobbing of feline heads to see what was wrong 😸. While the fluffbundle on my legs resettled instantly; his brother moved round so he could noseboop me (the full boop, with cheekrub following it) twice before settling back down.

I have great feline envy

😍me too! So jealous.

@JanieAllen @IcakethereforeIam can I interest you in one of my furry overlords?

There's the old boy who can't wee without getting it all down his back legs so he constantly smells like a tramp

There's the neighbours cat who constantly brings in liive mice through the cat flap and then dumps them, still alive, in my living room

And finally there's the cat from the next street over which comes in on bin day and does stealth wees in my dining room.

Any takers? Pleeeease. I beg you.😺

And @NitroNine if I can't get the other two to take mine how do you fancy a cat swap? Yours are much more....what I imagine when I think of cute balls of fluff.

pretty please😽

Sorry, @Boiledbeetle if I was in the market for a cat, and I wish I was, I'd have one of Nitro's. But don't be so hard on the neighbour's cat, working hard to increase the biodiversity of your living room.

Cake, I don't blame you, I'd have Nitro's, wonderful sounding ones over my mangy ones too!

(checks to make sure none of the cats are sat on the back of the chair reading this over my shoulder).

I think MN should set up a CatNet for the cats and their slaves owners. Imagine, AIBU, if posted by a cat, no definitely not. In fact, you've been a model of tolerance.

If posted by the slave owner, yes of course you are, why are you even asking?

The relationship board would be a bit one-sided.

😂

Excellent!

The AIBU board would have to be renamed "IANBU but..."

IANBU but my slave has given me a choice of all of my favourite foods over the last 30minutes whilst I berated her in the kitchen. how do I punish her for not reading my mind and hand feeding me raw mince whilst I lounge on the bed?

Shall I
A) scratch her hand till she bleeds
B) throw up on her favourite slippers
C) shit in the bath

Marmaduke the beautiful and gloriously fluffy, high and mighty ruler of all I spray on.

@NitroNine
This Christmas I will be the age my mother was for her last Christmas (& next year I become the age she was when she died, very suddenly) which is a bit brain-bending. (Sorry, I just needed somewhere to say it 😶)
I'll be at that point in a few years and entirely understand. I'm already the age DM was when she first showed symptoms of the disease that killed her and almost the age she was when diagnosed. It's a bit scary, tbh, as well as sad.

But... Christmas is a lovely time in the middle of the dark and gloom of winter. Have a good one.

Marmaduke the beautiful and gloriously fluffy, high and mighty ruler of all I spray on.

YADNBU all three, then I suggest you act unwell, necessitating and expensive and inconvenient trip to the vets. Spend the entire car drive (taxi would be better) shouting in your carrier that you're being kidnapped/murdered. Once at the vets, act like you've never been ill a day in your life. Scratch the vet and pee on the examination table.

Then catch fleas.

Regards

Tiddles the befluffed, beloved by all she deigns to notice and then some

Love that. Thanks for the link.

At Tiddles the befluffed, beloved by all she deigns to notice and then some,

Beautiful name, well chosen, so I decided to throw a curve ball and go for
D) follow her up the stairs then whilst she was in the bathroom I sprayed up against the side of her bed and then quickly retired to my very highest of high spaces that the slave can't reach without a ladder. I'm currently trying not to laugh to hard as she's currently cursing the cat from next door whilst she cleans up.

I tried the vet trip last year, unfortunately it backfired, the bitch left me there to be prodded and jabbed, although I did have a surprisingly good sleep whilst I was there and woke up with really clean teeth.

I do sit outside the house though and tell every neighbour who passes how appalling her behaviour is and how badly I'm treated, but they don't take me seriously. I think it's because I'm big boned and fluffy they just don't see how terrible it is that the constant food supply she gives me leaves me in a constant state of starvation.

I'm thinking of doing a sticky protest later to highlight my suffering. She's gong to start wrapping the Christmas presents so I'll be running low level interference adding cat hair to all the pre cut pieces of tape and adding claw rips to the nice pretty wrapping paper. I've arranged things with the cat from next door and he's going to be on sit on presents and climb in bags duty.

She's going to be soooooooo shouty! It will be glorious, Christmas truly is a wonderful time of year!

Marm

There is of course already The Litter Tray, aimed primarily at the slaves. It could be renamed 'The Litter Tray, Next Door's Flowerbed, Heck, Where I Damned Well Want'

I wish I could wake up with clean teeth, I think elves spend the night crotcheting little jackets for my teeth. Do you think if I identified as a cat then...? No, it's far too far fetched!

@IcakethereforeIam I wish I could wake up with teeth!

As if elves can crochet. They are way to busy making wooden toys and candy canes!

As for identifying as a cat, you already identify as cake so not to big a leap!

I'm supposed to be wrapping presents but the cats are circling so I may just wait a while, or a week!

Next year everyone is getting vouchers, I'm getting too arthritic to be bothered with the faff of wrapping

mine would be asking if its OK to brazenly pee in the bushes outside the house with the yappy dog

The health and beauty section would be fun

Can anyone suggest what's the best way to remove the black stuff all over my fur, I'm not sure what it was but if it helps I was inspecting the underneath of the van that belongs to some guy who obviously never bothers with even the most basic of vehicle maintenance. normally I wouldn't go near those dirty sort of vehicles but he has a dog so it would be rude not to mark my scent all over the van.

Anyway it's a greasy sort of mark, so do I use my left paw or right? Or do I bite the bullet and allow the human to rub at vigorously with a warm damp cloth?

Bumping this in an attempt to ignore the non-civil debate some posters are having elsewhere (which you are entitled to report if it breaks Talk guidelines, btw).
Happy New Year!

Oh dear! I never made the butter beer or butter beer fudge this thread inspired me to plan, either.

Thank you, this thread had totally slipped my mind. Is it bad form to laugh at your old posts that you'd completely forgotten?

I'd think it a sign of excellent taste, to be honest.

Wanda I read this with tired eyes and read 'We can't have Bunnings!... and I immediately though 'SAUSAGE SIZZLE'..'

Sorry, it is a cultural reference. People who know Bunnings know what I mean...